


My Life

by BLThompson



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Zombies, Child Abuse, Childhood Friends, Coming of Age, F/M, Falling In Love, Family, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, High School, Loss, Love, POV Daryl Dixon, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Young Daryl Dixon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:34:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 56,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23271061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BLThompson/pseuds/BLThompson
Summary: Daryl is twelve years old when his brother leaves to join the military. The boy feels abandoned, no one is left who really cares for him. He lives with his abusive father, his mother died years ago, and no one at school thinks much of the youngest Dixon. Just when everything is getting too bad for him to endure, a young, cheery girl shows up and changes his whole life.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon & Beth Greene, Daryl Dixon/Beth Greene, Maggie Greene/Glenn Rhee
Comments: 92
Kudos: 192





	1. Out of Nowhere You Showed Up

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to the song My Life by Rodney Atkins and this story just popped into my head. I wrote the first several chapters in one night and have finally finished it a couple months later. I just have to go back and edit them and will post other chapters as soon as I do so. Enjoy! Warning: thoughts of suicide in this chapter

**Daryl is 12 and Beth is 6.**

Daryl wakes up with his head pounding from the cuff to his head his paw had given him last night for not fetching a beer fast enough. At least that was all his father had done, it could have been much worse. His back hurts from the lumpy mattress, but he is used to it. Throwing on some second-hand clothes from off the floor, he picks up his too-big boots and tip-toes down the hall.

Will Dixon is passed out in the old, stained reclining chair, beer still in his hand, the foul liquid partially spilled down his shirt. His brown hair is a disheveled mess, just like Daryl’s hair is, but where his father has brown eyes, he has blue eyes just like his mother. Those eyes are the only thing Daryl has left of Carole Ann Dixon. Back in the day, before all the beer and lounging about on the couch, his father must have been a very fit, attractive man. Most of that is gone now, but Will still towers over most of the men in town and when he is in the mood can knock any of them out with a single punch.

A disgusting snort from his paw spurs the young boy back into action. Quietly opening the door and shutting the screen door carefully, Daryl makes his way down the wooden, wobbly steps in front of the trailer. Once outside, he puts on his boots and ties them up, only seeing double for a couple of seconds. Shaking his head, the boy stands up and begins walking to school.

Riding the bus is free, but a parent also has to sign their kid up to ride the bus. Daryl has never even bothered to suggest that his paw make the drive to campus to sign him up to be part of the school pick-up and drop-off schedule. He may only be twelve, but he is smart enough to know how damn well that would go. Daryl doesn’t have a backpack, it wasn’t like he brought his books or homework back and forth from school. The first few times he did, his older brother, Merle, had made fun of him, laughing about how Dixons don’t let some educated broads tell them how to write or do multiplication. Then, his paw had caught him doing his reading for English class, a book called Where the Red Fern Grows. He had gotten beat really bad that time. Will Dixon had said he wasn’t raising some book-reading pansy boy, yelling about how all school taught was bullshit and he had best not ever bring any of that crap back here again. The book had been thrown away in the end, but what Daryl had read of it had made an impression on him.

He had wanted to be just like Billy, have a dog that followed him everywhere, went hunting with him in the woods, and was there for him when no one else was. A couple of years ago, Daryl had even befriended a stray dog in the neighborhood. It was a ratty old mutt with dirty, matted hair and its breath had smelled like fish. It only had one eye and barked often. Unfortunately, after he had given it a couple scraps, the sweet animal had followed him home, only to face the wrath of Will Dixon, who under no condition would allow useless, freeloading furbags on his property. His dad had shot the dog. Daryl had buried it under an old oak tree in the woods. He hadn’t even had a chance to name the dog, which was probably for the best. Now when he walked to school, he didn’t try and stop and make friends with any of the stray pets running around. He never wanted one to accidentally follow him home again. If he had to, he threw rocks at them to keep them away. Better to get hit by a rock than end up with a bullet in their head.

Sometimes when Merle was around, he gave him a ride to school, but Daryl hadn’t seen hide nor hair of his older sibling in the past couple weeks. He could be back in jail again, there was no way to know for sure, no way to contact him. Merle had been talking about getting money, getting his life in order, so that Daryl could come live with him. The boy couldn’t help but get his hopes up. Sure, Merle was no model brother, but living with him would be a thousand times better than staying in that trailer with Will Dixon. However, since the talk, his brother had all but vanished.

“Hey dick,” comes a taunting voice as Daryl steps onto the campus parking lot, “that is your last name, right?”

It is Scott Riley, one of the kids in his classes, who loves picking on him. He is a good couple inches taller than Daryl and almost double his size, probably because he got three decent meals a day. However, if he tried, Daryl bet he could take him. He never tried though, because fighting led to parents being called and Daryl knew that wouldn’t end well. No matter what horrible things Scott and his sidekick, Jared, said or how hard they punched him, it wasn’t near as bad as what Will Dixon could do to him. Daryl hangs his head and keeps walking, even as his fists clench inside the pockets of his jeans. Of course, Scott doesn’t leave him alone, he never does.

“What’s wrong Dixon,” Scott yells after him, “too much of a wimp to stand up for yourself?”

The brown-haired boy just lowers his head, letting his long locks fall in front of his eyes, wishing that he could hide behind them. Sure enough, it comes, a push to his back that has him tumbling forward into the hard asphalt, scraping his knees and hands.

“Trailer trash like you belongs in a trailer, not at school with all the other students,” Scott insults and Daryl can hear Jared snort in laughter somewhere behind him.

“See ya later, dick,” finishes Scott, spitting at him as the two boys walk past.

Daryl picks himself up off the ground and begins shuffling forward, not making eye contact with anyone. The day has started just like any other day of his shitty life, he doesn’t really expect much more at this point. In English class, he focuses on picking bits of asphalt out of his injured palms, at one point using his pocketknife to get the most stubborn rocks that are embedded in his skin. His teacher takes his knife away and he gets a talking to about weapons at school. Only a parent can come to school to pick up the knife, so that is the last anyone will ever see of it. Merle will be pissed when he finds out Daryl borrowed his pocketknife, only to have it confiscated.

In the next couple of classes, the young boy dozes off, able to actually get decent sleep in school, where he knows he won’t wake up to his paw dragging him out of bed to punish him for some unknown offense. His teachers used to scold him for sleeping, but they seem to have given up on him. They are happy now as long as he remains quiet, which he almost always does.

During lunch, he hangs out on a bench outside. He should get a free lunch since his family doesn’t have any money, but that is another thing Will Dixon would never sign him up for. Besides, Dixons don’t take fucking charity. This is something that has been pounded into his head since he was old enough to talk. His stomach growls, but he is used to it. He can ignore it almost as easily as he can ignore his hair being messy in the morning or his shirts having holes. It is just the way his life is. 

During sixth period he gets called to the principal’s office. The kids all turn and make fun of him, ask him if he is finally getting kicked out. He just walks out and slowly makes his way down the hall, unsure of what is in store for him. However, he doesn’t even see the principal, the secretary just shoves a letter at him and gives him a short lecture on how the school is not his personal mailbox and on how he needs to get his hair cut. Daryl hides out in the restroom to open the letter. It is from Merle, who probably sent the message to the school since he knows their paw took out their mailbox with a bat a couple months ago when he got pissed at it for whatever reason.

The bad, scratchy handwriting is on the back of a receipt for fast food. There isn’t much written, but it takes Daryl a few moments to make out the uneven writing. It says ‘Darylina, I’m in South Carolina. Gonna go through training and then I’m gonna go shoot some terrorists with Uncle Sam. Don’t be a pussy while I’m gone.’ There is no explanation, no contact information, and no mention of when Merle might be coming back.

Immediately, Daryl feels the last little spark of light in his life collapse. Merle wasn’t a perfect brother by any means. However, he had cared for Daryl much more than either of their parents had. He had often brought home money, he never said where it came from, and bought Daryl food or clothes. His older brother was the one who had protected him before he was old enough to understand when to be quiet and how to sneak through the house. Merle was the only one he trusted and relied on and now he was gone. That left Daryl with his paw, Will Dixon. Being the only one there meant he was the only target. Gloom descends on the young kid at this realization, dragging him down further than he thought possible.

It is during the last period of the day in a too small classroom at a ratty desk, one of many at his shitty school, that Daryl has an epiphany. There is nobody to miss him if he were to disappear. After school, he could walk his ass home and take too many of Merle’s drugs or starve to death or shoot himself with his father’s gun or maybe just take off into the woods and not come back. It might take days for anyone to realize he is even gone.

It has been four years since his ma had died in the fire. Not that she had been much of a mother figure but occasionally when she came out of her alcoholic haze, the woman had cooked a meal or bought him new clothes. If he was really lucky, she had sung for him. Maybe it wasn’t for him specifically, she had just sung, until her voice was drown out by her father yelling to shut the hell up and then it was silent again. Either way, she was gone.

His teachers hear the name Dixon and immediately they knew everything they needed to know. Most of his teachers ignore him, a few actively go out of their way to let him know how stupid he is. He had missed school for a week before and they didn’t even ask him anything when he returned, limping slightly from where his knee had been hurt when he had been thrown to the floor.

He has no friends. In fact he is a target for all the bullies in his grade. They pick on everything from his tattered, hand-me-down shirts to his thick southern accent to his trailer trash upbringing. The boys yell horrible things about him and his mother, they kick him and shove him into the ground during lunch, and one time they had forced him to eat a handful of dirt. However, their beatings are nothing compared to what happened at his home, so it wasn’t that hard for him to live with. They might actually be the only ones to miss him if he was gone, only because they had nobody to shove in a locker.

The bell rings sounding the end of class and the end of school for the day. For Daryl, it also sounds the end of everything, because he has no reason to stick around, no reason to keep living his nightmare of a life, which was just about to get even worse. He couldn’t say that he would miss school, he didn’t have any good memories here, but he didn’t have any particularly horrific ones either so he guesses that is a positive.

Daryl finds himself sitting on a bench near the pickup line. He couldn’t go home right away, his pa might still be hanging around, seeing as it was too early for the bar to be open. Daryl watches as the other kids jump into their parent’s vehicles or onto buses. The smiling faces and happy voices are like a glowing fire, but the warmth doesn’t reach him. He sometimes wonders what it would be like to have parents that were both alive and cared about him, but then he stops because there is no point in daydreaming, it doesn’t change his reality. Slowly, the people thin out and after an hour, there is only him and a few other kids left.

Daryl stands up and is about to start on the long walk home when suddenly two pale, thin arms wrap around his waist. The sudden, unexpected touch makes him almost jump out of his skin as he looks down to find a little, blonde head buried in his stomach. His head jerks back and his hands fly up and away from this invasion of his personal space. If it was anyone else, he would have shoved them away, but this is a little girl and honestly he is scared to death that he might hurt her if he so much as laid a finger on her.

His heart is beating like a jackhammer and he feels like any moment someone will start yelling at him for interacting with the child. Surely, she has the wrong person. After a moment, he awkwardly and hesitantly touches the girl’s elbow, jerking back again when two big, blue eyes appear, staring up at him. The orbs light up even brighter when they meet his own eyes and a big, toothy grin breaks out on the girl’s face.

“I’m Beth,” she announces happily, like this is some sort of explanation as to why she is hugging him.

“Uhhh…,” he mutters, staring down at her, unsure of what he is supposed to say.

“You looked like you could use a hug,” she tells him, finally pulling back, but she is still grinning up at him.

Now that he isn’t hyperventilating at someone touching him, Daryl can concentrate better. The girl looks to be five or six and she has a pretty pink dress and pigtails with matching pink bows. She seemed to glow with happiness and energy, the exact polar opposite of himself.

“Bethany Greene,” calls a female voice from a pickup truck, “don’t be bothering the young man. Come on, we have to have to get going to help your daddy with the horses.”

“See you tomorrow,” Beth tells him, waving goodbye, “I promise!”

“I’m not gonna…,” Daryl starts, but she is already gone.

He stares as Beth climbs into the passenger side of an old, but well taken care of, farm truck. A woman with similar blonde hair smiles down at her daughter and takes her backpack. Daryl watches as they drive off, feeling like for the first time in forever he has actually felt something nice, even if just for a fleeting second. For once he was a part of a world he usually watches pass him by.

Frowning, he starts walking home. He fully intends to do it, to off himself or run away, but every time he thinks he has no reason to live, no one to miss him if he is gone, he sees the little girl’s happy expression, promising that she will see him tomorrow. It’s stupid, girl probably doesn’t even remember what she said to him, maybe she is just some loon that runs around hugging everyone. However, there is a small part of him, which he entirely refuses to acknowledge, that doesn’t want to disappoint her.

Instead, when he gets home, he heads right into the woods, going to the special place Merle had helped him set up. It has a makeshift treehouse and holds some supplies, including the crossbow his older brother had given him for his 12th birthday. The silent hunting instrument suits him so much better than the loud gun he had previously used for catching dinner. He likes how quiet it is, how he never runs out of ammo, so he can always depend on it. The weapon is his most prized possession and there is no way he would ever keep it in the house, where his paw might spot it. Picking up the weapon, determined to finally use it to bring down a deer, he heads into the forest.

**The Next Day**

Daryl feels silly as he walks to school. He is fidgeting, noticing how many holes the jeans he is wearing have and the dirt that has accumulated under his fingernails. Every time he worries about how he looks, he has to remind himself that this is stupid, that there is nobody waiting for him. Nobody to care if he shows up today or not and nobody to care if he looks halfway decent.

The angry voice of Will Dixon pops into his head unbidden, shouting about how no one would ever care about him, how he was good for nothing and doesn’t even deserve the life he has. It makes Daryl hang his head and grind his teeth. He finds it tempting to turn around and head back home, to never find out if the blonde child wanted to see him, because then he could at least pretend like she did rather than living with the reality that was sure to unfold.

“Hey dick,” comes Scott’s typical greeting, “what makes you think you can just walk across our parking lot? Trash like you can walk in the grass!”

Daryl’s shoulders tighten and he knows what is coming, the exact same thing that would be coming if he had walked in the grass because really it is just an excuse to mess with him. Something hard hits the young boy’s shoulder and a stone falls to the ground next to him. He bites back any cry that tries to leave his mouth, knowing that with his father reacting to the torment is only encouragement for it to continue.

“That’s right, you had better run,” shouts Jared, who is only tough enough to taunt him when he is with Scott.

Daryl shuffles to his first class and slouches in his seat. He drowns out the talking of the teacher and stares off into space, feeling himself drifting away. After what seems like hours, the bell rings and he wanders to his next class, going through the actions almost mechanically. Someone shoves him in the hall and there are peals of laughter, but he just keeps walking after he balances himself. When lunchtime finally comes around, he makes his way to his usual bench.

He hadn’t come across a deer to hunt last night, instead having to make due with one skinny squirrel for dinner and nothing for breakfast. The young boy’s stomach rumbles and that furthers his determination to do better tonight. He stares down at his boots, at the fraying laces, and prays for lunchtime to end as the scents of the cafeteria waft out the door and over to him.

Suddenly, two cowboy boots with little embroidered flowers are in front of his own shoes. Slowly raising his head up, as if worried that he might startle her, Daryl finds himself staring at a happy blonde face. The warmth of her smile makes him want to look behind him and check if she is looking at someone else. A dandelion is tucked behind one ear and she is holding a lunchbox with horses on it.

“I brought you something,” Beth says excitedly, setting the lunchbox down on the bench beside him and opening it up.

What she brings out is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that makes his mouth water just at the sight. However, immediately his mind jumps to the number one Dixon rule, Dixon’s don’t need any fucking charity.

“I made it myself,” the little girl says proudly, holding the food out to him and looking so pleased with herself that it makes him feel like a jerk to even consider refusing it.

Warily, he reaches for the bag, half-expecting for it to be taken away at the last minute, but his fingers make contact with the plastic and somehow he ends up holding it. The blonde child hops up on the bench and pulls a sandwich out for herself. Opening the bag, she starts eating, kicking her legs in a carefree manner as she looks out at the track field in the distance.

Daryl looks down at the bag in his hands and opens the lunch like a present. He can’t remember the last time he had a lunch made especially for him. The sandwich is a little messy, jelly dripping out the sides, but to him it looks perfect. He tries to savor it, he really does, but before he knows it, he has eaten every bite. Licking the jelly off his fingers, he notices he is being watched by two blue eyes. He turns his head just slightly and glances indirectly at the girl next to him.

“Wow,” she gasps, “you ate so fast! Was it that good?”

He nods silently, watching as a smile spreads on her face.

“Then I will make you another one tomorrow,” she says decidedly, turning back to her own food, which only has a few bites in it.

“Don’t have ta,” he murmurs, the words sticking in his throat, realizing he hasn’t said a single word all day.

“I want to,” she says with an enthusiasm that makes him want to chuckle, but he holds it in, only nodding his shaggy head instead.

“What is your name,” Beth asks, her pretty little lashes fluttering as she looks at him inquisitively.

“Daryl…,” he begins, pausing before he decides to add his last name, wincing even as he says it, “Dixon.”

“Mine’s Beth, Beth Greene,” she informs him, not ever showing the slightest concern or recognition of his last name.

Right then the bell goes off, informing them that lunch is over. Beth scoots off the bench, landing on her boots, her blonde pigtails flying in the air.

“See you tomorrow Daryl,” she tells him, before running off to class.

“See you tomorrow,” he whispers, but she is already gone.

Sure enough, he sees Beth the next day and the one after that. Pretty soon she visits him every day at lunch, always bringing him something to eat. Somehow, the girl makes it seem like by eating the food he is doing her a favor rather than him just being a charity case. There is always so much pride when she presents food she made and when Beth brings food her mom made, she always informs him that her mama made too much for her family to eat. Daryl wonders what that must be like, to have enough food you need help eating it. He doesn’t question it though.

Most days he just sits and eats while Beth talks. The little girl rambles on about her siblings or her dogs or the horses. It is clear how much she loves her parents. Every story she tells has Daryl realizing that his life is vastly different. People actually sit down to pray and eat dinner with their family, people actually go on vacation, and people actually have parents that care about them. It didn’t make him resentful of Beth, if anything he felt like she was sharing some of her happiness with him, like somehow he was now slightly included.

Sometimes, they would get glances. After all, they were quite the pair. The poor, disheveled Dixon boy sitting next to the happy, bubbly Greene girl. At some point, Beth’s brother, Shawn, caught wind of what was going on and began chaperoning their lunches. He seemed terrified of Daryl, who was four years older than him, but was also unwilling to leave his little sister around a possible threat. For a whole week at lunch, Shawn’s eyes kept darting between Daryl and Beth, like he was some rabid dog that might suddenly attack his sister. He didn’t take it personally, if anything he was happy that Beth had a brother that actually cared for her and was looking out for her. 

This behavior finally came to a stop one day when Beth ran off chasing a ladybug, leaving the two boys sitting in awkward silence alone. Both of them sat with their eyes glued on Beth, the only thing they had in common. The blonde had caught the ladybug and was bringing it back to them when something tripped her and she tumbled to the ground, skinning her knees and elbows. Instantly, both boys were at her side. Shawn looked horrified and tried helping Beth up, but the young girl wasn’t ready to move on her own just yet.

Reaching down, Daryl lifted Beth up and easily carried her back to the bench. Tears welled in her eyes, but didn’t slide down her cheeks. While Shawn comforted his sister, Daryl went to the nearest water fountain and wet his bandana that he carried in his pocket. When he returned, he knelt down and carefully started cleaning the blood off the blonde’s knees and elbows. Shawn somehow produced some pink flower band aids, which Daryl gently applied to each spot while Beth held her brother’s hand.

“Ya okay,” he asked when he had finished the last one, looking up in concern.

The blonde nodded her head, giving him a small smile. After that, Shawn seemed to decide that Daryl was okay and would only occasionally drop by to check on them.


	2. I Spent My Whole Life Looking Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this is a darker chapter despite the light beginning, there is child abuse, cursing, and prostitutes. While I will limit such discussion of Daryl's home life in the future, it is necessary to delve into it a couple of times in order to fully portray his living conditions. If this is a problem, please skip this chapter.

**Daryl is 13 and Beth is 7.**

Last year, Scott and Jared had a different lunch from Daryl, but this year they have the same one, as does Beth. It doesn’t take long for his two bullies to notice that he has a little girl as his lunch companion. A few days into school starting again after the summer, the bullies spot the pair eating together and make a beeline for Daryl and Beth. The teenage boy notices them coming a mile away, after all, he is used to watching his back. He can see their slick smiles and the thrill in their eyes at having two victims to pick on. Immediately, Daryl can feel a protective instinct well up inside of him as Beth continues chattering obliviously.

“What do we have here,” asks Scott, as the two bullies come to stand right in front of them, causing the blonde to stop talking and stare up at them.

Daryl sets down the bowl of mac and cheese Beth brought him today and stands up. He had grown a lot over the summer and is now eye level with Scott. For the first time in his life he was also putting on a bit of muscle since he got fed one good meal at least five times a week from Beth and he was getting better at hunting with his crossbow.

“How about y’all move along,” he growls, putting every threat possible into the one sentence, his eyes glittering with violence if they dare step any closer to Beth.

Jared steps back and Scott suddenly looks a bit unsure of himself. Never before had their target stood up for himself. Before the two boys can recover, the school secretary walks by and calls to Beth, causing the two bullies to wander off, knowing they can’t do anything in front of an adult. The secretary asks Beth about her family and siblings and the blonde happily updates the woman, who must be a family friend. As they are finishing, Beth suddenly grabs the woman’s hand and leads her over to Daryl.

“This is my friend, Daryl,” Beth introduces, looking so proud to be his friend that it baffles him.

“Hello Daryl, I’m Linda,” the woman says, reaching out to shake his hand.

The teenager isn’t used to adults treating him nicely and stares for a moment before giving a quick handshake, which he quickly withdraws.

“I hope Beth isn’t bothering you,” Linda continues, glancing between the odd pair, “she is a sweet child, but I know she can be a little pushy.”

“Naw,” Daryl quickly jumps in, glancing over at Beth as if Linda might drag her away “she don’t bother me none.”

“Well good, nice to meet you Daryl,” Linda says, giving him one last smile before leaving.

After that, the two bullies pick on Daryl even more, flinging all sorts of comments about how his only friend is a little seven year old girl, constantly making fun of him for being around her. However, never again do they try to do anything when Beth is actually with him and Daryl considers that a win.

Halfway through the school year, Daryl begins to get used to the lunches every single day. However, the good morning greetings in the hallway and the smiles across the courtyard still throw him for a loop. Even after a year of knowing Beth, it still surprises him each time she wants to interact with him. Often times, he just stares before hanging his head or looking away. It doesn’t seem to bother her though, if anything she just smiles brighter.

She begins bringing him little presents. Anyone else might think they were useless trinkets, but to him they are small treasures, which he hides away in his forest clubhouse. For Halloween, Beth presents Daryl with a couple of the candies she earned during her time trick or treating. They were the good ones too, a few red Starbursts, a Kit-Kat, and a snickers bar. For Thanksgiving, Beth brings him a turkey feather. She informs him that the name of the turkey is Mr. Snuggles and that her daddy had gotten the animal for their dinner but then everyone had gotten attached to him. For Christmas, the blonde gives him a little wrapped box that she makes him promise not to open until the 25th.

It is Daryl’s first time to ever get a Christmas present, much less a wrapped one. When Merle gave him the crossbow as a birthday gift, it hadn’t been wrapped. In fact it had been drenched on one side with some white paint that took forever for him to clean off. The little box amazes Daryl and he finds himself looking at the carefully wrapped snowflake printed paper, feeling like even if there is nothing in it, it is still one of the best presents he has ever been given.

On Christmas day, he wades through the snow to his clubhouse, which isn’t much protection against the freezing weather. However, despite the fact that he is shivering, he can’t bring himself to open the present right away. He sits on the wooden floor for several hours, just turning the box over in his numb fingers, imagining Beth smiling as she wrapped it. Finally, when it starts to get dark, he slips his fingers under the tape, carefully peeling it away so as to preserve the paper. Unwrapping the colorful outer layer, he finds a plain cardboard box beneath it. Lifting the top off with shaking fingers, he finds himself staring down at a clay, hand-sculpted Christmas ornament.

The clay circle had been painted prettily with bright green and vivid red and in the center, in Beth’s handwriting there is a ‘Merry Christmas’. He has no tree to put it on but instead makes due with a nail over the entrance to his treehouse, hanging the gift right where he would see it. When he steps back to admire the decoration, his lips turn up just the slightest. Even when his mother was alive and Merle was around, they had never decorated for Christmas. It was something he had only read about in books. Now, it seems like his whole clubhouse was glowing with Christmas spirit, even though it was only one item.

Immediately, he realizes he hasn’t given anything to Beth, not that he has anything to give her anyway. It still makes him feel like crap. Girl feeds him most of his damn meals, is one of the very few people that gives a crap about him, and she had made him a Christmas gift. That is why when Valentine’s Day rolls around, he is ready, bringing a white flower he had carefully picked out in the woods that morning. He hides the flower behind the school, knowing if he tried to walk in with it Scott and Jared would just throw it on the ground or tear it up before his eyes. When the lunch bell rings, he runs behind the gym to retrieve the gift. Walking back, he begins to second-guess himself. Feeling self-conscious, he fidgets at the bench, considering forgetting his whole plan when Beth suddenly plops down beside him. It is now or never.

He tentatively holds the flower out to her, staring from under his hair at how her eyes widened in delight and her cheeks light up a rosy pink. Suddenly, he knows he has done the right thing.

“It is beautiful,” she comments, a sweet smile spreading across her face as she plucks the flower out of his hand, tucking it in her hair.

“It’s a Cherokee rose,” he mumbles, feeling a bit abashed.

“You picked it just for me,” she asks, looking up at him with such raw bliss that he has to look away.

“They grow like weeds behind my house,” he mumbles, which is a complete and utter lie, but he won’t ever admit how long he spent searching for one.

“I love it,” she says simply, before pulling out their lunches for the day, letting the subject drop.

They both eat the leftover spaghetti and Beth tells Daryl all about how Maggie and her daddy are going to teach her to ride horses this afternoon. At first her monologues had overwhelmed him a bit, since he wasn’t used to anyone talking. Now it is like the babbling of a stream or the sound of cicadas in the summer, something that is just natural and makes him feel right at home. He likes that she never expects him to contribute much, never pushes for more.

After school, Daryl wanders home, feeling like he is worth something if he could make Beth smile. He plans to just grab some water and head out into the woods, but as he gets close to the trailer, he can hear raised voices inside. Immediately, he stops in his tracks, but the fact that one voice is female leaves him confused. Before he can think better of it, the screen door slams open and a women with chemically bleached blonde hair, nothing like the golden warmth of Beth’s hair, and several visible tattoos comes bursting out. The woman wears a tight, short skirt and a tube top. She has several piercings and a cigarette in her mouth.

“What the fuck are you staring at,” the woman snaps, before picking a path through the cluttered yard in her obscenely high heels to a beat up car with a ton of junk in the backseat.

“Ya fucking prissy bitch,” yells Will Dixon, coming to the front door in only his pants, with a cigarette hanging from his mouth, “like you are gonna do any better, ya sure as hell ain’t getting any younger! I was doin ya a favor, willing to fuck an ugly ass bitch like you!”

The scantily clad woman throws his paw the finger as she puts it in reverse.

“Come back when you want a real man,” Will hollers at her retreating car, before spitting on the ground.

Then, his father seems to notice Daryl standing in the yard with wide eyes.

“Come here,” the older Dixon growls, crooking his finger and indicating what he wants his son to do.

Daryl feels his blood run cold before his brain starts to shut off. He knows what is about to happen, knows that if he runs away he will only get beat worse when his father finally catches him. Hanging his head, doing his best not to anger his paw any further, he slowly drags his feet over to the intimidating man.

“Today is your lucky day son,” Will announces, which doesn’t make Daryl feel any better, “You are a teenager now, it is about time you become a man.”

That is all Daryl is told before he is ordered into an old truck that smells of booze and cigarettes. His paw drives them outside of the city limits and out to an old, run-down looking building with neon lights and crude images outside. He has never been to a place like this before, but having Merle as a brother, he knew it was a whorehouse.

“Now you can’t say I don’t ever do anything nice fer ya,” drawls his paw, as a stone sinks in Daryl’s stomach.

He wants to run, but there is nowhere to go, no one to help him. So instead, he follows his dad inside and his eyes almost fly out of his skull. Scantily-clad women are everywhere, dancing on poles, sucking a man off behind a curtain. Despite the scene in front of him, he isn’t turned on, instead he only feels disgust and fear coarse through his body. He looks down at his boots, hoping that this is all a nightmare, as his dad heads off like he knows the place, which he probably does. The teenager stands by the doorway, hoping that his paw will forget about him, but no such luck. 

“Here,” he paw orders as he returns, pushing a girl about five years older than himself in his direction.

He should have known out of all the girls there that this was the one his dad would pick. She would have been pretty if it weren’t for the bruises that littered her scantily clad body and the glassy look she had in her eye as she took his hand and automatically headed for a room like some sort of robot. Daryl knew that look, those bruises, which reminded him of his mother before she killed herself. The girl also has blonde hair, like Beth, but all of her innocence is gone.

“No,” he hisses, yanking his hand away, disgust welling up in him at the very idea of what his father wants him to do, who his father wants him to be.

He had never said that word to his paw before and there was good reason for it.

“What did you say boy,” Will Dixon growls, getting in his face.

“I said no,” Daryl repeats, drawing himself up as tall as he can, which unfortunately is still a good foot shorter than his dad and a lot leaner.

His guts curl at the look on his paw’s face, at the sneer that twists Will’s features as his eyes light up with an evil glint.

“Is that any way to speak to the man who so very kindly brought you out here,” Will begins, his voice demanding that his son reconsider, “I worked hard for the money to pay for this bitch boy. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I don’t want to,” Daryl insists, hanging his head down, knowing he has sealed his fate, but not able to live with himself if he does what his paw wants.

“You a fag,” Will questions in a hiss, grabbing his shoulder and all but dragging him out of the building, “Because I don’t raise fuckin gay boys. There ain’t gonna be none of that bullshit in my house!”

The teenager doesn’t even try to get away, knows it is useless from past experience, only makes the punishment worse. Instead, he retreats as quickly as he can into the back of his mind, distancing himself from the yelling of his father, which only gets worse as they drive home. When they get there, Will cuffs him on the head, but he is already too far gone to feel it.

“Get your pussy ass out of my truck,” Will shouts at him.

When his son doesn’t move, doesn’t even look, that angers the man and he comes around the side, yanking open the door and pulling the teenager out before dragging him into the house.

“Don’t you ever embarrass me like that again, ya hear,” he hollers, shaking his son, before undoing his belt.

“I have worked hard to raise you and your good-fer-nothin brother,” Will continues, raising his belt up, “and this is the thank you I get?”

The belt comes down hard, the metal hitting Daryl’s back and he is unfortunately drug out of the recesses of his mind into the present moment.

“I’m not going to raise some weak little bitch,” his paw rants, bringing the belt down again and again, his fury heightened by his son’s screams.

“Worthless piece of shit,” Will cusses, spitting down on the huddle of bloody flesh at his feet.

“Now I’m gonna give you a lesson boy,” slurs his father, as he lights a cigarette, “this world is a cruel place for people like us. Ain’t nobody gonna love us, ain’t nobody gonna help us, so that is why we have to take what we can, when we can, you got that? People, they are just tools for us to use, to steal from, to swindle, and to get off our rocks off inside of if that is the mood you are in. You can’t feel bad for them because given the chance, they will do the same to you, they will take advantage of you. So you can either be the one getting hurt or you can be the one doing the damage. You got that?”

Daryl tries to make a sound, anything so his paw won’t get angry again, but only a garbled breath comes out of his mouth.

“Fucking worthless, just like your maw,” his father announces in a cruel, pitying tone, before pulling out his cigarette and leaning over, “ain’t ever gonna amount to anything. Ain’t nobody ever gonna love you.”

Then, a sudden searing hot pain burns into his back, causing Daryl’s eyes to roll back in his head. He screams, but it is weak. Finally, the pressure is gone, but the pain lingers, as does the smell of burning flesh. From the ground, huddled in a defensive position with his hands over his head, Daryl sucks in ragged breaths as best he can, the simple action causing so much pain he almost blacks out, he wishes that he would. Instead, he stays conscious to hear his paw’s footsteps creak the floorboards of the kitchen and the fridge door open. A bottle clinks and then the lid is popped off. He hears his father returning and wants to run, but doesn’t think he can even stand. However, Will walks right past him and sits down in the recliner chair, turning on the TV and is soon laughing away at some raunchy movie, as if his son wasn’t half-dead only feet behind him.

After several minutes, the boy comes to enough to get the fuck out of the trailer. The moment he is out the door, he starts running deep into the woods, Merle’s voice in his head yells at him not to stop. When he reaches the clubhouse, he collapses below it, unable to even climb the short distance up.

All his muscles are twitching and he is too worn out to even flick off the insects that start crawling on his body. His shirt is torn, he doesn’t know if he can mend it enough to be wearable, but right now he doesn’t care. He is safe, far away from his paw, far away from anyone that can hurt him. When the sun sets, he finally finds the energy to get up and pull himself into the treehouse, where he sleeps for the night. It isn’t soft or comfortable, but he sleeps better there than he would have in his own bed.

For the next few days he doesn’t go to school. When he finally does show up, Beth comes running at him, ready to hug him in her excitement. He can’t help it when he flinches away and he can see the hurt in the young girl’s eyes. She doesn’t get mad or try to hug him again. Instead, the blonde just holds her hands behind her back while smiling up at him and telling him how much she missed him while he was gone. It’s more than he deserves, but it makes him feel better.

A few days later, he finally gets that buck he had been wanting. He remembers everything Merle taught him about skinning deer and gets the animal gutted and prepares it for cooking. It ends up a bit tough, he went wrong somewhere when he cooked it, but it isn’t inedible and it fills his stomach. He is pretty proud of himself and for some reason wishes Beth were here, so he could share his first big kill with her. Then, he snorts at the idea of the cute blonde in her little frilly dresses and cowboy boots being out here in the woods with some bloody animal.

The next time they eat lunch together, he considers telling Beth about his successful hunt, but keeps his mouth shut. Girl would probably be horrified that he killed Bambi or something. Instead, he listens as the young child tells him about her older sister Maggie, whom Daryl has yet to meet despite the fact that she goes to the same school.

“Do you have any siblings,” Beth suddenly asks, catching him off-guard, since the girl doesn’t normally question him about anything.

“Yeah,” he mumbles around the chicken he is eating.

When she keeps staring at him, he knows he won’t get away with leaving it at that.

“Merle,” he explains, keeping his eyes down, “he is twelve years older than me, joined the military.”

“Do you miss him,” she asks.

“He is an asshole,” Daryl says simply.

“That isn’t what I asked,” Beth clarifies, “Maggie can be so annoying, we fight all the time. Shawn is overprotective, always worrying about me. But I love both of them, I would miss them if they were gone.”

All he can do is nod, but the blonde lets the subject drop thankfully, although she does reach over and take his hand. Sometimes it feels like he is living two different lives, because he doesn’t know how people like both his paw and Beth can exist in the same universe, much less the same town. They are so different, it seems like only one can be real. He really wishes Beth’s version of life was his real life.


	3. I'm Starting to See Things Different Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know the last chapter was a bit dark, so this next one is light and happy! Thank you everyone for the wonderful, positive comments, they really made my day reading them.

**Daryl is 14 and Beth is 8.**

Daryl doesn’t know how she talked him into this, but she did. After two years of lunches at school and conversations in the hallway, Beth had finally convinced him to visit her home. She had brought the subject up before while they were eating and he always brushed it off, assuming her parents wouldn’t actually want to have him over when they saw who her friend was. Today had been different, he had been ambushed. Just as he was getting ready to walk home on a Friday afternoon, a blonde head had come running up to him.

“Daryl, my mommy says you can come play at our house this afternoon if it is okay with your dad,” she told him, almost jumping around with joy.

“Ha,” he had laughed wirily, “my dad don’t give a shit.”

“That is a bad word,” the young girl had reprimanded him, before turning around and shouting at her mother’s truck, “Daryl’s dad says it is okay if he comes with us!”

“All right, hop in,” Beth’s mom had called back, waving at them.

Before he knew it, he had been herded into the truck by Beth and shoved in the back, between the blonde and Shawn. Beth’s mom had turned around and her eyes had widened for a second in surprise, causing Daryl to tense up and prepare to get kicked out of the truck. However, the woman, who introduced herself as Annette Greene, had just smiled at him and said she was glad to finally meet the boy her Bethany had been talking about.

Now, they were pulling into the Greene Farm. He hadn’t even seen the house and already Daryl knew this was nothing like he was used to. They had a nice fence with the grass mowed around it and a good working mailbox that hadn’t been destroyed with a bat. As the drove along the paved road, which had no potholes, lush green crops surrounded either side. Finally, they reached the Greene house, which to Daryl looked like a mansion compared to the trailer he lived in.

Beth lives in a huge, white, two-story farm house with a big front porch and lots of windows. It was like something out of Daryl’s dreams. After everyone unloaded out of the car, Daryl found himself hesitating to go up the steps as they went inside. He often felt like he belonged outside more than he did inside at his own house, now the difference felt even more pronounced. The house looked so beautiful and white and he was so crass and dirty, entering it seemed almost forbidden to him.

The blonde had turned around as she began making her way up the steps and seemed to notice Daryl’s reluctance to go inside. Instead of pushing him, she just ran back down the steps and over to his side, carefully taking his hand in hers, a habit she had grown into since he quit letting her hug him.

“Mamma,” she calls, “we are going to go check on the chickens and the horses!”

“Alright,” Annette agrees, “don’t forget to get the eggs out of the chicken coop and feed all the animals.”

“Okay,” the young girl chirps, already dragging Daryl off around the house.

Hidden behind the massive home is a good size chicken coop, but the chickens are all roaming around outside of it. Beth collects the eggs in a plastic pail as he fills up the feeders with chicken scratch. The chickens all run over and begin clucking contentedly as they peck. A turkey waddles over, Daryl assumes the same one that survived Thanksgiving, and pushes a couple of chickens out of the way of the feed.

As they walk to the barn, a border collie runs over, its tongue lolling out to the side. The pet goes to Beth, jumping all around the young girl in excitement as she lavishes the animal with attention. After a few moments, the dog seems to realize that Beth has a companion and runs over to sniff his boots, finding them very interesting.

“This is Sweetie,” Beth tells him, “she is my family’s dog.”

It is breaking one of his rules of survival, of never getting attached to dogs, but he can’t help but reach down and bury one of his hands in the thick, soft fur. Sweetie jumps up at him, her tail wagging and he can’t help but chuckle. The dog rolls over and he bends down and pets her belly.

“She likes you,” the young girl tells him, “she doesn’t usually warm up to strangers so quickly.”

Daryl nods and his mouth twitches up at the edges ever so slightly as he looks back down at the dog, who is currently in heaven.

“You look good when you smile,” Beth tells him suddenly, with the bluntness only a child can have, “you should do it more often!”

Blushing and hanging his head in embarrassment, he mumbles something unintelligible out but she doesn’t push him to say more. When they stand up and start walking again, Sweetie follows. They go to the barn, which houses six horses. Three are patients, since apparently Beth’s father is a vet, the rest are the Greene’s horses.

“This one is mine,” the young girl tells him, pointing to a young, brown horse with a white spot on its nose, “her name is Nelly, but we often call her Nervous Nelly.”

The horse seems calm enough right now, sniffing at the hay and then straightening up to lean over towards Beth, who produces a small square of sugar.

“Why,” he finds himself asking, looking over at the horse and noticing some scars along the beast’s flanks.

“The man who had her before wasn’t very nice to her,” Beth explains, “Daddy says she just needs some extra love. She usually does okay until someone tries to ride her.”

The teenager walks over to the horse which stares warily at him before backing up.

“She likes women better than men,” Beth explains, before coming up beside him and offering Daryl a sugar cube.

“But she really likes these,” the blonde tells him, then explaining how to hold his hand flat and out away from his body.

The boy offers up the sugar cube and while Nelly takes a couple minutes, the horse finally comes over and eats out of his hand. He is struck by how large and powerful the animal is, but Nelly takes the food almost gently out of his hand. Moving slowly, he reaches out and runs a hand along the horse’s nose, watching as she chews up the sugar. He feels almost a special connection to her. Both of them understood what it was like to be beaten, both of them had warmed up to the loving care that Beth had invested in them.

“You really are an animal person,” Beth comments, looking on happily.

Daryl’s mind goes to all the animals he has killed and skinned and doesn’t think that counts as being an ‘animal person’. He just shrugs though, it is easier than trying to explain.

The blonde then takes a scoop and starts filling a plastic bucket with oats from a feed bag. When the bucket is halfway full, she tries to pick it up to carry to the horses, but struggles to even get it off the ground. The girl starts to scoop oats back into the feed bag to lighten the bucket but he stops her.

“I got it,” he tells her, taking the load and going to whichever stall she leads him to.

They repeat the process five more times and soon all the horses are eating their dinner.

“In here is my daddy’s office,” the blonde tells him proudly, as she leads him into a room in the corner of the barn.

Inside the walls are filled with medical and veterinary books. Farming books take up one shelf. A big wooden desk is littered with paperwork and one stack is held down by a glass paperweight. There are cabinets with glass doors that hold all sorts of medical equipment.

“Here come look at this,” Beth encourages, as she sets her bucket of eggs on the corner of the desk.

She walks over to a window and through it, Daryl can see rows of corn, which end where the woods begin.

“It’s my favorite view of the farm,” the blonde says happily, looking out over it.

He watches her, analyzing the happiness in her face, wondering what it must be like to feel that way, especially at home. When they turn to go, Beth returns to the bucket, intending to pick it up, but somehow it slips and eggs fall out, breaking across the floor of the office.

“Oh no,” Beth cries, looking down at the mess, “daddy isn’t going to be happy. He has told me not to bring the eggs in here before!”

Instantly, those words set Daryl on edge. He knows his paw is worse than most fathers, but she will at least get a cuff to the head or some sort of minor punishment. Quickly, he grabs some paper towels and starts cleaning up the mess, throwing the eggshells back into the bucket as fast as he can. Beth starts helping him but before they can finish, he hears footsteps. They are too loud and heavy to be Shawn or Annette’s, so he immediately straightens up to see who he assumes is Beth’s father blocking the doorway.

He only gets a glance at the stranger, before he averts his gaze down, like he has learned to do with is paw. The man is older than his father, white coloring his beard. However, he has the same blue eyes as Beth. He is wearing a plaid shirt and overalls, along with work boots.

“Bethany,” asks Hershel, “what have I told you about bringing things into the office that don’t belong in here and causing a mess?”

Quickly, Daryl moves between Hershel and the young girl who is still crouched on the floor picking up eggs. Before Beth can respond, he is already talking.

“It wasn’t her fault, it was mine,” he says as fast as he can, “Beth didn’t do anything wrong, it was all me, I knocked the eggs over. If anyone should be punished it is me.”

Having said this, Daryl tenses for the blow, but nothing comes. There is a good silent pause before Hershel speaks.

“I see, well in that case this is your first warning,” the man tells him, his voice calm and level, “now I just brought Maggie home from soccer so I suggest y’all both get this cleaned up quick and head up to the house because we are going to have dinner soon.”

Daryl can’t believe what he is hearing, it almost seems like a trap. When he glances up, Beth’s father is looking at him with an expression he can’t quite place, but it almost looks like understanding and sadness mixed together. When the man realizes he has raised his head, he smiles at him.

“I’m Hershel, Bethany’s father,” the older man introduces himself, “I assume you are Daryl, whom we have heard so much about?”

Daryl nods, unable to find his voice. He had expected the man to tell him to stay away from his daughter, to keep his dirty Dixon blood away from his family. He had expected blows and harsh words, but none of those things were happening. Instead, Hershel just tips his hat and then heads back out of the barn.

Staring after him, Daryl feels slightly confused, as if a law of physics had suddenly stopped working. Looking back over his shoulder, he finds that Beth has finished cleaning up. She smiles up at him. Her whole family seems to smile a lot, which is so different from the grimacing and frowning he is used to.

“Ready for dinner,” Beth asks him, straightening up and throwing the egg mess in the trash.

Daryl nods and follows her like a puppy up to the house. This time he actually follows her in, making sure to take in every exit, just in case. The inside of the house is warm and open with plenty of windows. It doesn’t make him feel nearly as trapped or claustrophobic as he thought it would. Everything is well lit and trash and beer cans don’t litter the floor. Staying close to Beth, he follows almost on her heels until they reach the dining room, where the rest of the family is sitting around the table already. His eyes widen as he takes in the scene before him. Never in his life had his family sat down to a single meal together. Never has he seen so much delicious food in one place.

“Here, you can sit by me Daryl,” Beth calls to him, as she pulls out a chair next to her and Shawn.

Feeling relieved to sit by the two people he knows, he slides in, keeping his head down because everyone’s attention is on him. 

“Everyone, this is Daryl,” introduces Annette, “Daryl this is Maggie, our oldest. Patricia, my sister, and her husband, Otis.”

He glances up through his hair at the mention of each name. Most of the guests look inviting, however, the one that intimidates him most is Maggie, who fixes him with a decided stare that has him squirming in his seat. She breaks it when they are all supposed to bow their heads to pray, Hershel leading the prayer. When Hershel thanks God for bringing everyone together, including Beth’s friend Daryl, he can’t help but feel a bit uncomfortable at all the attention. However, his shyness is quickly forgotten as they start eating. There is a whole roasted chicken and sweet potatoes and green bean casserole. Fresh-made rolls melt in his mouth and there are several jugs of sweet tea. Just when he thinks it can’t get any better, Patricia and Annette start serving peach cobbler. He all but inhales the food and when he finally finishes, feeling like he is about to burst, he looks up to find Maggie staring at him.

“What did you do Beth, bring home another stray,” Maggie asks, glaring at Daryl.

“That isn’t nice,” Beth jumps in to say at the same time Annette says, “Maggie, that is not appropriate, go to your room.”

“You aren’t my mother,” yells Maggie, fire sparking in her eyes as her attention is diverted from Daryl.

The teenager is now on edge, feeling like any second he is about to see the façade pulled away as Maggie is severely punished for talking back. At his home, talking back is almost a death sentence.

“Maggie,” Hershel’s voice raises above the shouting, “that is enough out of you, do as Annette says and go to your room. We will talk to you later.”

Daryl watches with wide eyes as the brunette shoves her plate away and stomps up to her room without a single hand being laid on her. Even though nothing has happened, he can feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins, ready in case he needs to run. However, everyone else seems relaxed. A small, soft hand suddenly intertwines with his own and he looks over to find Beth looking at him with worry, unsure of what is wrong but wanting to make him feel better.

“There is vanilla ice cream we could put with the cobbler, it is really good together,” the blonde mentions, squeezing his hand at the same time.

He doesn’t think he can eat another bite, but he finds himself nodding because this is Beth and he really has trouble saying no to her. It turns out that is a good thing because when Annette brings out the ice cream and gives him another helping of peach cobbler to go with it, he is pretty sure he has died and gone to heaven.

After dinner is over, Beth shows Daryl how they pick up the table and he begins helping wash dishes. Annette comments on how helpful he is and that just causes him to look away and blush, not used to receiving praise. After everything is cleaned up, Shawn suggests playing cards, so they head up to Beth’s room.

Merle and Daryl had always shared and room and a bed growing up, until Merle had moved out. Along with the bed, there is an old alarm clock, a bookshelf full of items collected in the forest, and a confederate flag Merle had stolen off somebody’s truck on a dare. The window unit doesn’t work, so in the summer, the window is kept open, and in the winter they slept with extra blankets that smell like mildew are a necessity. There are a couple bullet holes in the walls of the bedroom, some he had witnessed be put there and some he hadn’t. Until the moment Daryl walked into Beth’s bedroom, he had never given bedrooms much thought, didn’t know they were much more than where you slept at night.

A big bed with a pink comforter dominated the room. Several fluffy white pillows sat at the top of the bed, along with a brown stuffed animal horse. Next to the bed, a bedside table held a radio and CD player. Several posters of female country singers hung on the walls along with a clock. A neat little desk sat against one wall, the top covered with homework and a journal. The windows had gauzy white curtains that didn’t make much sense to Daryl because you could still see through them.

“Do you know slapjack,” Shawn asks as Daryl takes a seat on the floor beside the other two.

He shakes his head, Merle had taught him poker and other gambling games, but no typical family card games.

“Don’t worry, I will teach you,” Shawn promises as he shuffles the deck.

They play several rounds of slapjack, a couple rounds of Go Fish, and one round of spoons before the sun goes down over the horizon. The three kids make their way downstairs where Hershel and Otis are talking about next year’s crops and Annette and Patricia are canning vegetables.

“Daddy, can I ride with you to take Daryl home,” Beth asks and although nothing has happened all evening, Daryl flinches and looks over, only to find the girl’s father already looking at him with a thoughtful expression.

“I think it might be better if your mamma takes him sweetheart,” Hershel says, “besides, Otis and I have some important things to discuss about harvesting. Annette, can we pull you away from canning for a little bit.”

“Of course,” Beth’s mom replies as she comes out of the kitchen and plants a kiss on her husband’s head, “you keep an eye on the kids though, Patricia has to go home soon.”

“Haha,” Hershel chuckles, “don’t worry, I’ve got it under control.”

Beth and Daryl load up in the back of Annette’s truck and she asks for directions to his home. He gives them to her, except that he tells her that the house a block from his paw’s trailer is his home. He doesn’t want to see their faces if they were to see what his home is really like. He sure as hell doesn’t want them anywhere near his father, especially Beth. Also, he doesn’t want his father to know where he has been, so he pretends this other house is his home and even starts walking up the sidewalk as they drive off before running back and starting down the road to his actual home.

Annette had said he was welcome back any time, smiling as she said so. Beth had given him a big hug and for the first time in a long while he hadn’t completely tensed up or started hyperventilating. However, despite the warm invitation, he wasn’t planning to go back. Eventually, they would learn too much about him, he would mess up and it would be obvious that he didn’t fit in. However, for just this one night it had been really nice.

Daryl doesn’t even bother trying to go in the trailer, he has already eaten and had plenty to drink. Instead, he makes his way in the dark to his treehouse, only getting lost a couple times. Eventually, he makes it and pulls himself up. He can’t remember feeling this content in a long time. He went a whole day without getting hit, he got to spend more time with Beth, her family hadn’t kicked him out, in fact they had fed him a bunch of wonderful food and even seemed to like him. Daryl was going to bed with a full stomach. All in all a pretty great day.


	4. I Ain't The Man I Used To Be Because Of Who You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is hanging in there and staying healthy and safe!

**Daryl is 15 and Beth is 9.**

Beth had said at lunch that she had a surprise for him, but she couldn’t give it to him until after school. He couldn’t imagine what it could possibly be, but she had seemed really excited, so that had made him happy. He always felt better when the young blonde was around him smiling and giving off her natural warm glow. The teenager often felt like a moth drawn to Beth’s warm flame, not able to touch it but enjoying just being close.

“There you are,” cries the blonde in excitement, as she grabs his hand and begins pulling him through the halls and out into the courtyard.

“Shawn,” Beth calls as they pass by her brother, “tell mom I will ride home with daddy when he comes to pick Maggie up.”

Her brother barely has time to give the affirmative and they are already gone. Heads turn as they pass, because even after several years, people just don’t seem to get used to the two of them. He hasn’t really gotten used to it either. All the smiles and hugs and constant greetings and small gifts, they make him worry that someday the sweet girl will grow up and realize that he isn’t worth all the effort she seems to put into him. However, for right now it is enough to have her with him, tugging him along, a smile growing on her face.

“Where are we going,” he groans, but they both know that he wouldn’t rather be anywhere else.

“You will see,” she replies, shooting a sneaky glance back at him.

It turns out she is taking him to a classroom. It is an older room, near the back of the school and is filled with all sorts of instruments.

“So your surprise is a music room,” he asks confused, as he looks around him.

“No silly,” Beth giggles, pulling him further into the room.

She lets his hand go a few feet from the piano and sits down. Daryl leans up against the wall, watching as the blonde puts all her focus into the keys at her fingers. It starts slow and uncertain, but slowly speeds up. Only occasionally does the girl hit a wrong key, blushing red each time. Usually Beth shows nothing but absolute confidence, but there is something hesitant and self-conscious about the way she is trying her best to play a song.

Daryl leans his head back and closes his eyes, letting the music sweep over him. It isn’t perfect, sometimes Beth stops and has to find her place again or hits the wrong key, but to him it is beautiful. Even as he thinks it, he can hear Merle in his head calling him Darylina, teasing him for being such a pussy. Merle’s voice is suddenly swept away when Beth starts singing softly. Her voice is light but strong and clear. He knows fucking dipshit about singing, but if anyone were to ask him, he would say she is a natural.

“When my hairs all but gone and my memory fades,” the blonde continues, “and the crowds don’t remember my name.”

“When my hands don’t play the strings the same way, mmm” Beth’s voice picks up, getting a bit louder and more confident, missing less and less keys, “I know you will still love me the same.”

The moment she stops, he misses it. He cracks one eye open and looks over to find her staring at him and worrying her bottom lip.

“And that is all I know,” she tells him, “I know I messed up on a few parts, but I just wanted to show you.”

“Ya did good,” he compliments, causing her to blush red and beam up at him.

“Really,” she asks, her eyes gleaming and almost blinding him.

All he can do is nod, but that seems to satisfy her.

Suddenly, the door opens and there is a voice behind them, interrupting the moment.

“I didn’t know anyone was in here,” says a young boy with brown hair and brown eyes, before he really looks at them, “oh, it is you Beth.”

The boy doesn’t even glance up at Daryl, which is surprising since most of the younger kids at the school find him terrifying. Instead, he is staring at Beth with what Daryl could only describe as moony eyes. He would say the boy had a crush on his little blonde friend, but he didn’t know if kids that age even got crushes yet. He sure as hell had never felt that way about anyone and Merle had tried starting him real young.

“Daryl, this is my neighbor, Jimmy,” Beth introduces and finally the kid’s eyes seemed to take him in, pupils widening before backing up a step.

“Um, hi,” the young boy tentatively offers as a greeting.

Daryl grunts, not feeling like making the effort to get to know the kid.

Beth politely excuses them and Daryl follows after her as she heads out into the courtyards and then starts making her way to the soccer fields. The blonde explains how she wants to learn to play guitar as well as piano and be a singer someday. After what he heard, he doesn’t doubt it. She is going to be something else someday, something really wonderful. His heart drops when he thinks of how she probably won’t still be talking to him by then. At some point she is gonna wise up and realize that he isn’t good enough to even be hanging around talking to her. Maybe he can at least listen to her on the radio. He is sure she will make it on the radio with a voice like that. He hopes he at least has a radio by then.

He hears the swishing sound before he sees the ball when he reaches out to grab a soccer ball that had gone flying through the air and would have hit Beth if he hadn’t caught it. The blonde stops mid-sentence and looks up to see him holding the ball and a smile grows on her face.

“Hey, loser, send it back over here,” calls a voice that is all too familiar to him.

Maggie shows up in her blue and black sports uniform, glaring at him like usual. Unlike Shawn, Beth’s older sister had never warmed up to him, but from what Daryl can tell, she doesn’t like a lot of people so he doesn’t take it personally. In fact, Maggie seemed to have it out against the world a lot of times. Compared to Beth and Shawn, Maggie was by far the black sheep of the family. The oldest was constantly getting in trouble, running away from home, using cuss words, and fighting with everyone else. Beth had told him that Maggie had having trouble since her mom died and Hershel remarried. He himself had lost his mother and spent most of his time grunting at people, so it wasn’t like he could judge the brunette. Tossing the ball overhand to the older sister, she traps it under her foot.

“Beth, when are you gonna get some friends your age,” Maggie huffs, glaring at him.

“I have friends my age,” Beth rebukes, “but I like Daryl best!”

“Ugh,” Maggie groans, “I hope your taste in guys doesn’t turn out to be as bad as your taste in friends. Why can’t you hang out with Jimmy or something, he is nice?”

“Don’t treat Daryl like that Maggie,” the little girl says, standing in front of him as if he needs her to protect him from her older sister.

“How does it feel to have a nine year old stand up for you Dixon,” Maggie taunts.

He only does it because Beth is in front of him and can’t see it, but he raises his middle finger at her, causing the brunette to see red and storm off.

“Asshole,” she yells in parting, before kicking the ball and getting back to practice.

Thank God she is a year younger than Daryl and he doesn’t have her in any of his classes.

“I’m sorry about Maggie,” Beth tells him, tugging at his hand, “she doesn’t mean it.”

“I hate to break it to ya,” he says in gravelly voice that had only appeared more recently, “but I think she does.”

“She will see,” Beth insists, “you are a good person Daryl Dixon.”

He snorts at that but allows the girl to lead him over to the sidelines and they sit in the bleachers while Maggie practices. Beth works on her homework and Daryl lays down on the metal and stares up at the sky. Occasionally, the young girl asks for his help but most of the time they sit in companionable silence.

“What are you going to do this weekend,” Beth asks out of the blue, like she sometimes does.

“Prolly go hunting,” Daryl answers, he had been hoping to catch something big this weekend, since the weather was supposed to be good.

“I wish I could go with you,” the blonde states, causing him to open one eye and look at her to see if she is serious.

The blonde was so sweet and almost fragile looking, he can’t really imagine her hunting or enjoying anything of the sort, but she is staring at him with all seriousness on her face.

“Maybe when you are older,” he evades.

“How old were you when you started,” she asks, not letting the subject drop, girl had a stubborn streak.

“Twelve,” he answers, because he doesn’t really mind questions when they come from Beth.

The girl seems to think this over before nodding and going back to her homework. After an hour, soccer practice ends and Maggie comes running up the bleachers to her sister.

“How is the homework going Beth,” the brunette asks, turning her back to very clearly ignore Daryl.

“Good,” the younger sister answers, “Daryl has been helping me when I had problems.”

The brunette sends a skeptical glance his way.

“Yeah, we had better look over those again then,” she huffs, before finally turning to him, “don’t you have somewhere to be other than hanging out with my little sister?”

“Mags,” Beth protests, but Daryl only sits up and stares at Maggie, her animosity no longer intimidates him.

“Nah,” he drawls, knowing how his answer will irritate her.

“Can’t even speak using actual words,” the brunette mutters, picking up Beth’s backpack.

“Come on, let’s go,” Maggie insists, “dad is going to be here to pick us up any minute.”

“I want to see if Daryl can come with us,” Beth asks, putting her pencil down and looking over at him.

Daryl can hear Maggie moan. He has been back to the Greene house a couple times, despite his original intent to never return. However, he still isn’t comfortable riding with Hershel, even though the man had never showed him anything but kindness. The teenager felt a bit bad about it, but he couldn’t help the feeling he got running down his spine when he got in any enclosed space with an adult male other than Merle. It was okay at the farm for whatever reason, but the truck was pushing it too much for him.

“Maybe some other time,” he promises, watching as her face falls.

“Come on, he doesn’t want to go, let’s leave,” insists Maggie, ushering her sister along.

“Bye Daryl,” Beth calls, waving goodbye to him.

He nods at her, watching as the two sisters disappear. Most people have left by now so he pulls out a cigarette and lights it up. It is a habit he recently picked up, one of the boys in his grade had offered him a few and he found out it relaxed him immensely. He never smoked around Beth though.

He blows out and looks down at the red glowing end of the smoke, thinking about how much it hurts to have it pressed against his skin. Lately that had been his paw’s favorite form of punishment. As bad as it hurt, it was proof he could get used to anything because nowdays he didn’t even have to be held down, he just stood there, going outside himself as his dad pressed the butts against his back. One of the positives about all the scars that were starting to accumulate on his back is that once they scarred over, they didn’t hurt anymore. Maybe someday he would have so many scars he couldn’t feel anything.

Flicking the cigarette, he watches as the ashes fall on to the bleachers. The kid that traded him for cigarettes had tried to offer him drugs, but he had seen what they did to Merle and wasn’t interested. He hadn’t heard from Merle since his brother left years ago. Sometimes he wondered if he was even still alive, if he would ever come back for him. It didn’t seem like it. When he finished the cigarette, Daryl finally stood up and started back home.

He was only about a block from the main campus when he hears the taunting shouts.

“Hey dick,” yells Scott, whose insults haven’t gotten much more creative over the years.

Jared is close on his companion’s heels as the two make their way over to Daryl, eyes narrowed in focus and faces grinning in anticipation. It is like the moment slows for Daryl, he takes in the school behind the boys, realizing that they are off school property. If they get into a fight, there will be no principal to call his paw. However, he doesn’t do anything right away, just watches as the two bullies approach him.

“Where you been hiding out at,” snarks Scott, “couldn’t find you after school.”

Daryl doesn’t say anything, but Jared figures it out.

“Probably hanging out with that little blonde girl,” Jared pipes up, his beady eyes glittering.

“That’s right,” Scott says slowly, focusing on Daryl again, “because you have a thing for little girls, don’t’cha dick?”

That has fire burning in his veins, he doesn’t care what these motherfuckers say about him usually, but when it comes to Beth he doesn’t want to hear their crap.

“Ain’t like that,” he growls, eyes narrowing and fists clenching.

The boys are too excited about bullying him to even notice the warning signs, to get the idea that things aren’t going the way they do at school. Instead, they keep coming closer and keep pushing him.

“Is that how they do things out in your part of the woods,” taunts Scott, stepping closer to him, sneering, “get them young?”

Usually, Daryl walks around with his back hunched and his head down, but at Scott’s words, his head snaps up and his posture straightens. Scott steps back, realizing for the first time that his victim has somehow become taller than him over the years.

“I said, it ain’t like that,” he snarls, before punching Scott right in the stomach.

The bully doubles over, clutching his middle, groaning in pain before falling onto the concrete. Daryl is surprised by how badly he has hurt the other boy, the only other people he usually fought were Merle and his dad, both of which easily brushed off his punches like they were featherlight.

“Fuck,” groans Scott and Jared backs up, staring at him with scared eyes.

“I’m gonna tell the principal on you,” threatens Jared, stepping nervously back, eyes glancing back down at his friend.

“Don’t see him anywhere,” he barks in almost a laugh, stepping over Scott and grabbing Jared by his shirt collar.

The wuss yelps in surprise and struggles to get out of Daryl’s grip, but doesn’t have any luck. The stronger boy pulls Jared right to him, getting in his face.

“I’m tired of y’alls crap,” he rasps out, his voice still harsh from the cigarette, “And I’m tired of looking at yer faces! So stay the hell out of my way! And if I ever catch y’all around Beth or talking about Beth again, I will fucking mess y’all up so bad you won’t know the difference between yer ass and yer head, not that there is much of a difference now.”

Jared whimpers in fear when Daryl shakes him.

“Ya understand me,” he barks out, getting a frantic head nod in return.

Daryl shoves Jared onto the concrete, watching as the boy sprawls onto the hard ground.

“Now get lost,” he growls, “both of you!”

Scott by now has recovered enough to get off the ground and both boys hurry away, shooting glances behind them as he watches them retreat. He should feel good, the pair had been causing his life misery for years, knocking them on their asses should bring a smile to his face. However, he just feels like his paw, using violence to solve every problem. Hanging his head, he turns around again and tramps home, kicking every rock he sees on the way, his anger not at all abated.


	5. Dodgin' Punches, Bounced Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter there is child abuse, which may be unpleasant for some readers. However, please bear with me because after this things will get lighter.

**Daryl is 16 and Beth is 10**

Daryl is walking around looking for Beth. Unlike usual, the little blonde girl hadn’t shown up at lunchtime to sit by him. He had waited for fifteen minutes before he became antsy. The girl occasionally had other things to do, but she always told him first. Sometimes, she ran late because she was talking to people, but never this late.

He would have asked Shawn, but they no longer had the same lunch. He had the luck of having Maggie for the same lunch and God forbid he ask her anything. Spitting on the ground, he looked back up and scanned the courtyard, not seeing the familiar blonde head. Strolling into the cafeteria, he made a loop, still not finding the girl’s face.

She had to be somewhere, he had seen her in the hall this morning. Unless she had gotten sick and gotten sent home. Girl had looked fine when he had seen her last. His brow furrowed and he did his best to push away the uneasy feeling that was growing in his chest. Next, he stopped by all her classrooms, but none of them held the young girl. A tightness grew in his chest as he became desperate, half-running around the school looking.

As he was passing the gym, he heard voices. Normally, that wouldn’t have tipped him off to anything, but there was no class for athletics during either of the lunches. Pushing open the door just a crack, it took a moment for his eyes to adjust. However, when they did, he found four guys surrounding a little blonde figure wearing a pink jacket.

“What the hell does Dixon see in you,” asks Scott, stepping up to the little trembling girl.

“Leave me alone,” she snaps, glaring up at him with as much fire as she can muster.

“Girl’s got some balls,” comments Jared.

“Unfortunately for her, it is Daryl’s fault she is in this mess,” Joe cackles, “since Scott and Jared have some unfinished business with him.”

“Daryl is a good person,” Beth shoots back.

“Damn, he has got you brainwashed,” Scott sneers, looking down at the child.

“Maybe Dixon’s got a thing for cute girls, he does seem like the type,” Joe inputs, looking down at the young girl.

“Hell, I wouldn’t mind a cute little blonde thang for myself,” Len leers, reaching over and grabbing Beth’s elbow, “get a couple years older and you will be pretty good looking. Maybe I can take Daryl’s place, watcha say?”

Beth never gets a chance to answer, but the unwanted hand on her elbow is suddenly yanked away as Daryl appears, pulling Len away from her and sending him flying backwards onto the floor.

“Bastard,” yells Daryl, seeing red and jumping on the boy who had been touching Beth.

“Hell no,” Joe shouts, as he jumps in and starts beating on Daryl, “that shit ain’t cool!”

“Daryl,” Beth screams, watching in horror as the three other men jump on him and do their best to drag him off Len, but he is putting up a good fight. Unfortunately, Scott sends a vicious kick to Daryl’s head, sending him onto the floor. Len gets up and starts heading for the blonde.

“Run Beth,” Daryl hollers, trying to clear his vision even as more blows begin to land.

“I won’t leave you,” Beth shouts, jumping out of the way of Len’s grasping hands as he tries to catch her.

“Get out of here, I will meet you after school,” Daryl hollers, right as a blow lands to his gut and knocks the air out of him.

“Fucking prick, think you can just humiliate us like you did, now you are gonna pay,” Scott spews at him and he and Jared land blow after blow.

Daryl can’t tell where Beth is, can’t look up, but he thinks he hears the door to the gym open and close and he can only pray she got away. He would never forgive himself if she got hurt while he was around. All four of them have ganged up on him now, so he is pretty sure she is gone. That makes him happy even as he realizes he is stuck, that there are too many of them to fight off. However, the image of Len taunting Beth and grabbing at her still has red hot anger burning in his chest and when he sees an opening, he lunges again, dragging the other boy beneath him and getting his hands around the bastard’s neck. The other three are hitting him, but he doesn’t care, all that matters is making sure this lowlife never touches Beth again.

Right then, a bright light fills the room and apparently lunch is over because students and coaches are pouring in. Soon, there is more yelling and people are dragging him off of Len.

“Don’t you ever touch her again,” he yells, glaring at the other boy, who looks half dead.

Once the adrenaline subsides a bit, Daryl can feel all the soon to be bruises covering his body. It hurts like hell, but nothing he isn’t used to. He is being escorted to the principal’s office, all of them are. They push him down in a seat, next to the four sorry excuses for human beings. He can’t stand sitting next to them, can’t stand having them so close and not being able to do anything with several coaches watching them. Instead he glares, wishing that looks could kill. When Scott finally raises his head and glances Daryl’s way, Daryl spits right in the fucker’s face, causing all the coaches to jump on them and separate the boys.

The principal hears them all out and apparently talks to Beth as well, although not around the five of them. Eventually, the principal expels the four other guys and suspends Daryl for fighting, saying he will have to call Daryl’s parents. The teenagers heart all but falls out of his chest. He opens his mouth to try and argue, to cut a deal, but the principal holds up a hand and says he has had enough and doesn’t want to hear another word this afternoon.

So, Daryl sits in the secretary’s office, waiting for Will Dixon to pick him up, knowing this isn’t going to be pretty. However, he would do all again if given the choice. He would never let those guys hurt Beth and now they are going to be expelled so they never will, she won’t have them around her.

It takes three agonizing hours for Will Dixon to show up despite the fact that the drive is only twenty minutes from the trailer and his paw doesn’t even have a job right now. When his father enters the office, Daryl can’t help but draw in on himself with the glare that is directed his way. Will talks to the principal, who explains that Daryl had been fighting and is suspended for three weeks. He guesses his paw can be amiable enough around other people, he can put up the façade long enough to pick up his son. However, it only lasts until they are out in the truck.

“You had me drive all the way out here because you got fucking suspended,” Will snaps, driving a bit wildly, “do you think I don’t got better shit ta do than haul your fucking ass out of trouble?”

When they get home, it has only escalated.

“What the hell is wrong with you,” shouts Will as they get out of the truck, “can’t you even finish a fight you started, look at how beat up you are? I didn’t raise you to be a fuckin pussy!”

It wouldn’t matter if he told his paw it was four against one, wouldn’t matter if he told him he was busy defending someone else. There is only one way this ends and he knows it.

“Get your ass in the house, god damn teenagers, what the hell your mama did getting pregnant and leaving me with you ass-wipes I will never know,” Will hollers, working himself into a fury.

This is about as mad as Daryl has ever seen his father and suddenly, an idea forms in his head. It is stupid, it has never worked before, but never in his life has he been so certain he was about to get the worse beating of his life. Halfway to the house, he makes a run to the right, heading for the woods, but his injuries from the fight slow him down and Will Dixon can be fast when he wants to be. Within seconds, his shirt collar is grabbed and yanked back and it might as well be a noose over his neck.

“Don’t you ever try that coward shit again boy,” breathes his father down his neck, pulling him backwards into the house, “this is why you don’t win fuckin fights, because of this bullshit. I ain’t gonna be having no coward for a son, that is for damn sure!”

The grip on his arm is viselike, painful, but it is probably the least painful thing he will be feeling from his paw this afternoon. Suddenly, he is pulled forward and let go, causing him to fall to the ground. Before he can scramble up, Will has already has his foot on Daryl’s back.

“Don’t even think about it boy,” he growls, undoing his belt.

Daryl has had a belting before, he got hit once or twice, hurt like hell. This is nothing compared to this beating. When Will brings down the belt, the metal end hits his back hard, lashing into his skin, tearing at his shirt. Screaming in pain, unable to escape into the back of his mind, Daryl kicks and struggles, but Will outweighs him by about a hundred and twenty pounds. The belt comes down again, ripping into his skin, bruising his shoulder.

“I should have taught you this lesson a long time ago,” Will screams at him, bringing the belt down again, “Dixons are tough! Look at you screaming and crying on the floor, it is pathetic!”

The belt comes down again and Daryl just wishes he could pass out and float away into unconsciousness, but of course that doesn’t happen. What does happen is another lash from the belt.

“I should have raised you right from the beginning,” his paw criticizes, bringing the belt down with the last word, “shouldn’t have listened to the crap your maw spouted. She was a dumb bitch and now I have a fucking useless son!”

Daryl starts to feel it the fuzziness clouding his mind. His father’s voice becomes more distant and he escapes into it, taking with it every good thing in his life and holing it up deep inside. When he comes out of his almost comatose state, his paw is gone and he is drenched in blood. He tries to push himself up but falls back down onto the floor. For a second, he wishes he hadn’t come around, but he knows he needs to move, needs to treat his injuries, and he needs to get the fuck out of the way in case his father comes back.

Pushing again and groaning in pain he sees lights and feels the little strength he has leaving. Suddenly, he hears Merle’s voice so clearly he can almost swear his brother is there.

“What the fuck happened to ya,” Merle exclaims, staring down at him, “ya look like a piece of beef I would buy at the store.”

“It’s good ta see ya too,” he snorts, but that causes so much pain he regrets it.

Then he tells Merle what happened.

“This is what happens when you don’t follow the rules,” Merle berates, “you know better than to get attached to anyone, anything! Can’t go doin that shit! Can’t go walking around and doing dumb shit just cause you are some little girl’s bitch!”

“I ain’t nobody’s bitch,” he disagrees, somehow finding the energy to argue.

“That’s the spirit,” Merle encourages, “now get the hell up! Ya gotta move!”

“It hurts,” he groans, “can’t get up.”

“Like hell ya can’t,” Merle cusses him, leaning down and getting in his face, “you are a fuckin Dixon!”

Daryl’s head hurts with that word, he hates his last name, it is like a red hot iron searing his skin, prodding him into action. He pushes himself up into a seated position, feeling like his whole back has been split wide open.

“Don’t stop,” reprimands his brother, “move yer ass!”

Standing up, he sways from side to side.

“Get the basics and get out,” instructs Merle, following his wobbly steps down the hall.

Filling up a trashbag with extra clothes, a bit of food, bottles of water, rags, and some basic medicine, he stumbles outside, the bright light blinding him. Squinting in the noon day sun, he wonders how long he has been out for.

“Do I have to drag yer ass,” barks Merle, “come on Darylina, quit being such a pussy and go already! I ain’t got all day!”

He almost falls off the steps but somehow manages to get his feet onto safe ground, stumbling like a zombie into the woods in search of his treehouse. He couldn’t find it on his own, but Merle leads him. Right when he gets there though, his brother disappears.

“Merle,” he rasps out, looking around, but his brother is nowhere to be seen.

Panic begins to well inside him, he doesn’t want to be alone right now.

“Merle,” he calls again, but his throat is so dry not much sound comes out.

“Come on Daryl,” calls a sweet voice he knows so well and looking up he sees Beth at the top of his treehouse, holding out her hand, “I won’t leave you Daryl, come on, you can do it!”

Summoning energy he didn’t know existed, the teenager climbs to the top of the treehouse with all the items, shoving them in the door and passing out the moment he is safely inside. When he wakes up hours later, it is dawn, he had slept through the whole fuckin night. Sitting up, he groans in pain. No one is there with him, there is no Merle or Beth. He has gone batshit insane, only took sixteen years.

He has to clean his wounds, he has to do something before they become infected, which he is certain they will. First, he pops several Motrin, but he doesn’t really expect them to help much. Grabbing one of the bottles of water, it takes a feat of strength to lift it over his head, pouring it down his back, letting it wash away the blood. He needs someone to look at the wound, but he doesn’t have anyone, doesn’t have a phone to call anyone.

After he has rinsed his back off the best he can, he picks up a jar of moonshine Merle had left in the clubhouse. Unscrewing the lid he can smell how potent the stuff is. He has had a sip or two here and there, but never really drank. Lifting the bottle to his lips, he takes a big gulp, almost throwing it all back up. He holds it down and forces himself to keep taking sips until his head starts to buzz and he can’t feel his back as much. When he reaches that point, he lifts the alcohol over his head and pours it down his back, screaming in pain as it burns into his open wounds.

It turns out that he passed out because he wakes up again, reeking of alcohol and all the pain has returned. Just the strong smell makes him want to puke. Grabbing yet another bottle of water, he pours it down his back, trying to rinse off the alcohol. It gets most of it off, but he still smells to the high heavens of booze and his back and the floor of the clubhouse are a bit sticky. Laying a halfway decent shirt on the ground, he positions himself on his stomach and fades in and out, only occasionally being completely coherent.

He would estimate it takes a week for him to run low on supplies, in addition to however many days since his father first beat him and he laid unconscious in the trailer. He is going to run out of food and water and he definitely can’t hunt yet. A lot of the empty plastic bottles he has filled with his piss, not having the energy to move to pee. His mind keeps moving, trying to come up with a solution. Ultimately, he keeps laying around, stretching his food, only eating a little at a time, trying to make it last as long as he can.

He had managed to wrap his back a few days after he made it to the clubhouse. It takes him a long time to do and it is a pain in the ass to unwind when he has to re-treat it with alcohol anytime he worries that his back feels too hot. He listens to the birds a lot, learning their sounds. He lays on his side so he can see out the window and up into the tree, watching attentively to which birds have which calls.

Finally, there is no beating around the bush, if he stays here he is going to starve or pass out from dehydration. All the food, water, and most of the emergency supplies have been used up. He throws on a button down shirt over his bandaged back. He throws his crossbow down, wincing at the sound his weapon makes when it hits the ground. It’s not like he can use it right now, but he sure as hell ain’t leaving it and while he doesn’t have a plan, he knows he isn’t coming back. Climbing down, he is careful not to stretch too much and pull at the scabs that have formed on his back.

He limps through the woods, his old knee injury acting up. He doesn’t know what he will do when he reaches the trailer, but he sure as hell ain’t going inside, wouldn’t even if he was dying of thirst. He plans to skirt the area and just keep walking, but something catches his eye. There is a dingy, green jeep parked in front of the trailer that he doesn’t recognize. Suddenly, a man bursts out, kicking the screen door open, looking around and muttering.

“Merle,” he breathes.

He hasn’t seen his brother in years, but there is no mistaking him. His hair has bits of grey already but he has put on a lot of muscle and his eyes are moving with purpose.

“Merle,” Daryl shouts out, limping out of the woods.

“Holly hell,” Merle shouts, jumping back, “would have thought you were a chupacabra boy, God damn!”

“Where ya been,” he asks, causing Merle to frown.

“Long story, what happened to you,” his brother asks.

“Same shit that always does,” he answers and Merle nods.

“I got enough money,” his older brother answers, “know it took a shitty long time, but I did, I got it all. Ya don’t gotta stay in this shithole anymore little brother, ya can come with me.”

That was all Daryl needed to hear, because he couldn’t stay here another moment longer.

He just nods and shuffles over to the passenger side, throwing his crossbow on the floorboards and sliding in. Daryl sits up straight, unable to lean back. Merle opens the door and stares down at him.

“Ain’t you gonna get your shit,” Merle asks.

“Nah,” he answers, because there is not enough money in the world that could entice him back into that trailer, “ain’t got nothin else worth a crap anyway.”

“Well aren’t you all flowers and sunshine,” his sibling snorts.

“Learned from the best,” Daryl answers surly, ready to get the fuck out of here.

“Have it yer way then baby brother,” Merle tells him, sliding in the driver’s side.

Merle doesn’t even ask if there is anyone he wants to say goodbye to and Daryl is glad because he doesn’t think he could face Beth. She had almost gotten hurt because of him, because she was close to him. He couldn’t protect her from everything, right now he can barely even stand up although he is determined not to show it to Merle. She was better off without him, he knew it from the beginning.

“She ain’t gonna miss you if you aren’t there,” is the same lie he told himself as the first day he met the bubbly blonde, but this time he makes himself believe it.


	6. A Vagabond Just Runnin' From My Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, going to fast-forward in this chapter, a lot has changed since the day Daryl left with his brother.

**15 years later**

He is driving with no particular destination in mind, but somehow he keeps and keeps getting closer to the one place he swore he would never return to. Every time he gets the chance to turn a different direction, he just keeps going and cursing himself for doing so.

He knows why and it is stupid and illogical and he hates himself for it. It is because of a pair of blue eyes and blonde hair and a sweet smile that he only sees in his dreams now. It is because the last time he ever belonged anywhere, to anyone, it was back in the last place he wants to be.

The truck is quiet without Merle, things have been fairly quiet since Merle died several months ago. His own brother’s damn fault, got himself too involved in the fucking drug business, tried to cut the product too much with the wrong people, tried to make more money when they didn’t need any more. He still cusses Merle out for it sometimes, for how things went down in the end. Another part of him has accepted it though, because that is just how Merle is, never could do things in moderation. Going out in a blaze of smoke and gunfire, that is how his brother was meant to go. Doesn’t make things any easier for him though.

He has tried to float around on his own, but it turns out he doesn’t do things on his own very well, despite being such an anti-social person. As much as Merle’s taunts and constant problems drove him crazy, he has been missing them every moment since his sibling died in his arms. He puts a cigarette to his lips, drawing in and craving every bit of nicotine he can get. He has started going through packs like crazy, it is costing him a small fortune.

He can’t seem to function on his own, he can’t seem to settle down. Without making a conscious decision, he is desperately running back to the last place he felt like he was at home. It is stupid, he hasn’t seen her in years, she probably wouldn’t even recognize him. Fuck, maybe he won’t even recognize her, but something tells him he would recognize Beth anywhere. He’s said her name now in his head and he is mad at himself for it, for actually thinking it because now when he goes and doesn’t find her or she doesn’t remember him, he is gonna feel like crap. He already feels like crap though, that is kind of his default emotion.

It takes two days to drive back, but soon he is on familiar streets and around familiar buildings. New things have popped up, there is now a little drug store and a tiny strip mall, but most of it is the same. For a long time the only places he has been were new, Merle always picked somewhere different, unfamiliar, somewhere they had never even heard of before, someplace where nobody knew them.

That’s over now, there is no more Merle to tell him what to do, just himself. Clutching the wheel, Daryl feels like he is fucking up, but he doesn’t know what else to do. Turning onto the main street he passes the school campus and pulls into the parking lot. It is Saturday and no one is there. He feels stupid. Even if it was during the week, it isn’t like Beth would be here, she would have graduated a long time ago. She may not even live here anymore, maybe she went off and became a big singer. He had scanned the radio often enough, hoping to hear her voice, but he never did.

Pulling out of the parking lot, he cusses himself out, calling himself an idiot and every other name in the book. What the fuck was his stupid plan? Just drive back to school and expect Beth to be there, still a little girl who would smile at him and talk about her day and give him hugs. He may not have graduated high school but he is no idiot.

Mad at himself, he pulls in to the only rundown hotel in the town. However, he doesn’t even have enough cash to pay for a room. He hasn’t worked since Merle passed away, hasn’t done much of anything productive. Hasn’t even gone hunting.

“Fuck,” he cusses.

Now he feels like a moron for coming back and he is stuck here in this shitty town because he doesn’t have money to leave.

“Way to go Dixon,” he thinks to himself, trying to decide what to do next.

His stomach rumbles and he decides even if he can’t get a place to sleep, he can at least get some food. He doesn’t feel like going into a restaurant or anywhere too public, so somehow he ends up at a little food truck in a feed store parking lot. The owner of the food truck is from out of town, so he doesn’t recognize Daryl. Not that many people would, he is aware that he doesn’t look the same as he did fifteen years ago.

As he is sitting on his tailgate, crunching on some pig’s feet and drinking pickle juice, he notices a young woman with a fuck-ton of bracelets on her left wrist struggling to load feed bags into a little truck. The woman has like 10 of those huge fifty pound bags loaded precariously in her cart and while she already got a couple on, she is obviously having trouble with the others. However, a young man just exited the feed store and is walking her direction. Daryl is sure he will help with it. The dude is wearing good jeans and a pressed button down shirt and tie, seems like the upstanding citizen sort. However, the jerk just keeps on walking right past the woman, he even glances over and then seems to decide he doesn’t want to help. Prick probably doesn’t want to get his damn clothes dirty.

That pisses Daryl off. He pushes himself off his truck and makes his way over, already feeling self-conscious. He knows how people look at him, he doesn’t want to scare the woman by just suddenly appearing from behind her or something. However, the young woman is completely focused on the feed bags and is attempting to get a third into the bed of the truck. He is a few feet away when she tries to move it from the cart up into the truck, sees how her hands slip on the plastic covering.

Without even thinking, Daryl catches the bag and lifts it up in the bed of the truck easily enough. When he turns around, the man all but freezes in his tracks. Two big blue eyes are staring back up at him from a cute face, framed by blonde little curls that have escaped the pony tail and one little braid that stands out of the rest of her hair.

Out of all the people in this tiny po-dunk town, who would have thought that the first person he would run into would be Beth. She looks nothing like the young, little girl that used to follow him around, but the smile she is giving him is the same. God, she has grown up. Beth is all long legs and soft curves and suddenly he feels himself clamming up because talking to women is not his strong suit and Beth is most certainly a woman now. Everything he had thought about saying and doing seems beyond stupid now and he is left floundering.

“Thank you,” the blonde woman gushes, looking up at him with bright but tired looking eyes and a furrowed brow, “you look familiar.”

He shrugs and moves to grab another bag, letting his hair fall over his face, suddenly hoping she won’t recognize him and he can just scrap this whole fucking plan.

“Wait,” she reaches over, grabbing his arm, looking up with a shocked expression, “Daryl, is that you?”

Her eyes widen as she takes him in. He has to be at least a fifty pounds of muscle heavier than the last time she saw him, he grew at least another six inches, his voice sounds different from smoking too much, his hair is longer, and he is wearing Merle’s old biker vest. Yet somehow she knew it was him. He mumbles unintelligibly and looks down at his feet. She should tell him off for putting her in danger all those years ago, for leaving without so much as a single word, and for showing up looking like he is part of some biker gang but all she does is smile at him and this time it is one of those special smiles that warms him from the top of the head to the bottom of his feet.

“It is you,” the blonde gasps, looking up at him, “what are you doing in town?”

He shrugs, not really knowing what to say.

“Where are you staying,” the blonde questions, looking way too excited for seeing his sorry ass.

“In my truck,” he tells her, feeling like an absolute loser, “just for a few days, ain’t gonna be here long.”

“You should come stay with me,” Beth immediately offers, beaming up at him just like she used to do except this time his stomach is flipping all around.

“No need,” he brushes her off, picking up another bag of feed, “my truck is just fine.”

“Please Daryl,” Beth almost pleads, moving in front of him after he has unloaded the next bag.

There is something in the way that she is looking at him that makes him unable to say no. Somehow, his traitorous head is nodding and then she is doing that thing again that makes his stomach start jumping all around. He had almost forgotten what Beth Greene’s smiles did to him.

“Great,” the blonde beams, as he finishes loading her truck.

“Just follow me home,” Beth says over her shoulder as she pushes the cart back.

As she walks away his eyes find the sway of her hips in her blue jeans and notice the way her boots click on the pavement. Growling at himself, he tears his eyes away and scolds himself. This is little Beth Greene that he is looking at, she deserves more respect than that. The only problem is, little Beth Greene isn’t so little anymore. Usually this wouldn’t be a problem for him, actually staring at women was never a problem he had. Ever since his father had drug him out to have sex with a prostitute, he had all but lost interest in the opposite sex. Even getting himself off made him feel sick more often than not, his paw had managed to fuck him up not just physically, but mentally. Merle had tried to ‘fix’ the problem by shoving all the girls at him he could find, but finally even his older brother had given up. Hell, he had given up on himself a long time ago, accepted that he would never have a relationship like any normal person, not even one night stands. However, for some reason today his mind was having different ideas, maybe those pig’s feet had made him sick.

Getting into his truck, he starts the engine, pulling out and following behind Beth all the way to the farm. Things look a little run down, but he assumes that the family has just been busy. Daryl parks in front of the house, looking around at the sights he hasn’t seen since he was a kid. Getting out of the truck, he goes to help Beth with the feed.

“Oh, it can wait,” she tells him, “I will have to drive over to the barn, the feed is for the horses.”

He wonders where everyone else is, why Shawn or Hershel hadn’t gone with Beth to help her load all that feed. Way he remembers it, Hershel was a damn good dad and Shawn would have done anything for Beth. He follows her up the steps, pausing before going inside, worried for a second that he will find Hershel with a gun pointed at him. However, the house is strangely quiet, almost empty.

Carefully treading behind Beth, he follows her into the kitchen where she makes him a cup of tea. The blonde talks and chatters away, not expecting any response from him, which is good because he doesn’t know if he can talk just yet. After an hour though, he finally begins to think straight. However, that is when the sound of a vehicle pulling up the drive interrupts his thoughts. He wonders if it is Maggie and if she is still the same bitchy girl she was back in high school.

However, it isn’t Maggie, it is Patricia and Otis, who are much older than he remembers. They have a little girl between them. She has blue eyes and brown hair with flowers braided in. Daryl thinks they are kind of old to have kids, but that isn’t his fuckin place to think much less say something. He quickly realizes his mistake the moment the girl enters the house.

“Mama,” the girl cries, running over to Beth.

“How are you sweetheart,” the blonde exclaims, picking the girl up and twirling her around, “how was your time with Aunt Patricia and Uncle Otis!”

“Great, look I made a crown of flowers,” Beth’s daughter exclaims, pointing at her head and smiling in a way that makes it clear who she is related to.

Daryl stares in shock. He shouldn’t be so shocked, Beth is an adult. However, in his mind he keeps trying to put her back in the same category she fit in when they were kids.

“Who is this,” the little girl asks, big blue eyes staring at him just like the girl’s mama’s eyes used to do.

“This is Daryl, he is one of my friends,” Beth explains, poking the girl’s nose, “he is going to be staying with us for a while.”

“Yay,” the little girl exclaims, running over to him and hugging his leg, looking up at him with trusting eyes.

Patricia and Otis had been giving him side glances, obviously unsure of who he was until Beth introduced him. Daryl nods at them and they seem to relax, but not all the way.

“Julie did so well,” Patricia tells Beth, “she has been such a good girl today.”

“Thank you so much for watching her,” the blonde thanks profusely, “it means so much for me.”

“Of course,” Beth’s aunt reassures, “we are here for you, we know you have had a hard time and want to do anything we can to help.”

Having said this, they both wish Beth goodnight and head out, still shooting glances at Daryl, as if concerned about leaving their niece alone with a dangerous looking man.

“What do you want for dinner,” Beth asks Julie, who immediately answers, “spaghetti!”

So Beth starts making spaghetti and Daryl tries to help, only to get shooed out of the kitchen.

“Go play with Julie, I’m sure she will love it and I remember how good you are with kids,” Beth insists, completely at ease allowing the big, biker-looking man to play with her precious daughter.

“Hmph,” is all she gets out of him but he heads over to the young child.

He isn’t good with kids, he had only ever been good with Beth. He is at a loss but Julie quickly puts him at ease, having him sit and help her put Legos together. She informs Daryl that she just turned four and that her favorite animal is a horse. Watching her work, the older man feels like he has found a mini version of Beth, the two are so similar in many ways it is eerie. However, Julie has brown hair, he supposes she got it from her father.

That leads his mind down another path. There had to be a father, so Beth probably has a husband. He can’t even begin to imagine what her husband will think when he comes home and finds Daryl here with his wife. However, a part of him wants to see this guy and make sure he is good enough for the wonderful woman working away in the kitchen. A part of him wants to punch the wall at the idea of Beth being with someone, but he doesn’t really know what else he could have expected. The blonde was the most wonderful person he had ever met, it made sense that some young man had snatched her up right away.

“What’s wrong Daryl,” asks Julie.

“Nothin,” he bites out a little roughly, but then quickly remembers to act more gently.

“Ain’t nothing wrong Julie,” he reassures her, happy to see her troubled eyes clear and she goes back to playing.

“Food’s ready,” Beth announces.

God, Beth’s cooking has only gotten better and Daryl does his best not to shove it all in his mouth, but he doesn’t succeed. Julie laughs a little and seems to find his table manners funny. The girl’s mama doesn’t seem to notice, talking to both her daughter and Daryl and smiling at them the whole time.

After dinner, Beth drives all three of them out to the barn and Daryl unloads the feed bags while Beth takes Julie around to feed all the horses. She is a good mother, not that he would have expected any less. By the time they finish, it is almost sunset and on the ride back to the house, Julie falls asleep in the seat, her head resting on Daryl’s arm. When they get back, Beth takes her daughter up to bed and Daryl finds a spot on the couch, trying to make himself comfortable but feeling entirely out of place. He doesn’t know where he can sleep though so it isn’t like he can leave. Finally, Beth comes down, looking exhausted but happy. She sees him sitting there and plops herself down beside him and suddenly it is like sitting on the bench together all over again, but also so very different.

“Never thought I would see you again,” Beth says suddenly, looking over at him.

“Wasn’t sure I was ever comin back,” he rumbles and she leaves it at that.

They sit in silence for a while, but it isn’t uneasy. If anything, it is the most comfortable thing he has done in a long time.

“You can have Shawn’s room,” Beth tells him, “I just have to fix it up a little, wasn’t expecting company.”

“I can just sleep on the couch,” Daryl disagrees, “don’t want to mess with any of his stuff.”

“You aren’t,” Beth says, a sad look coming into her eyes that he never used to see, “Shawn died in a car accident eight years ago. It was a drunk driver, other guy walked away but Shawn didn’t even make it to the hospital.”

The blonde wraps her arms around herself and it breaks Daryl’s heart to see her like this.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, “he was a good guy.”

“Yeah, he was,” Beth agrees, giving him a small, sad smile that is nothing like the bright one he liked so much, “so you aren’t putting him out. He liked you well enough, I think he would have been happy to let you stay in his room.”

Daryl nods because he doesn’t know what else to say, but the blonde doesn’t take it the wrong way. Instead, she leads him upstairs and fusses around the room, putting new sheets on the bed. The room is strangely empty, not at all what he would have expected.

“He was already packed up for college,” Beth suddenly says, as if sensing what he is wondering, “he was supposed to move into the dorm in two weeks when it happened…..I just haven’t had the heart to unpack any of it, just left it all in boxes in the closet.”

“Lost Merle, few months ago,” Daryl finds himself replying, “his own damn fault, he wasn’t nearly as good of a person as Shawn…but….”

“It’s hard without them, isn’t it,” Beth asks, ignoring his assertion that Merle wasn’t as good as Shawn, “I miss Shawn, all the time. I miss him bossing me around, he was always so overprotective……I bet you miss Merle too.”

“He was a shitty ass brother,” Daryl mumbles, not used to talking about his feelings.

Beth gives him a small sad smile that seems to say she gets how he really feels.

“Nobody’s perfect,” she says, “doesn’t mean you can’t miss them.”

Having said this, she finishes tucking the last edge in and throws a big comforter on top.

“If you need anything,” Beth tells him, “I’m gonna be right down the hall.”

Daryl’s head nods, wanting to say and do more, but not really knowing how.

“And thanks,” the blonde suddenly says, her voice passionate, “for agreeing to stay with us, it really means a lot.”

“Shit girl,” Daryl drawls, “I should be the one thanking you, not the other way around.”

“I’m not a little girl anymore Daryl,” Beth says, smiling at him from the doorway.

“Yeah, ya sure ain’t,” he agrees, causing her to eyes to shine back at him in a way he doesn’t entirely understand.

“Night Daryl,” she almost whispers.

“Night Beth,” he replies, watching as she disappears from view.


	7. It's Just the Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the nice comments! I have really enjoyed working on this story, it helps take my mind off everything else going on. Stay healthy!

Daryl wakes up early the next morning, panting as he slips back into reality, away from the sight of Merle dying in his arms. Nobody else seems to be up yet. Slipping downstairs, he carefully makes his way outside, closing the screen door quietly so he doesn’t wake anyone. He watches as the sun starts to make its way over the horizon, casting light on the family farm. The older man notices that Beth’s truck and his truck are still the only vehicles in the driveway. He finds that odd, he had half-expected to see Hershel when he had snuck through the house. Maybe Annette cooking breakfast. At the very least, Beth’s husband should be here. He frowns, not really sure what to make of it.

Walking around the porch, he notices that the once well cared for house now has paint peeling on the porch. Some of the chairs and a porch swing have fallen into disrepair. The bushes planted around the house have grown up and are unruly. The grass looks like it hasn’t been cut in a while. There is a huge stack of logs off to the side of the house that appear to have been sitting there for at least a month or two, there are weeds starting to grow over them. Feeling uncomfortable just sitting around on his ass, Daryl finds an ax in the barn and goes to work splitting wood.

The work is hard, but it doesn’t bother him. For some reason, the task brings him more peace than he has had in a long time. He begins to work up a sweat and the cool morning air suddenly feels hotter. It is nice out here on the farm, certainly much better than all the broken down apartments and shitty hotel rooms he and Merle stayed in. Daryl feels like he can breathe out here, like for once he is away from all the threats and judgement that were a part of his life for so many years.

“You didn’t have to do that,” comes a sweet voice and Daryl turns to find Beth standing there in a pair of shorts and a loose, white shirt, looking every bit like an angel.

“Least I could do,” he mutters, looking down at his boots, “after you fed me and let me spend the night here.”

“Well, it is much appreciated,” Beth tells him, “I have been meaning to split the wood, but things have just been so hectic…and, I just haven’t had a chance to get to it.”

That has Daryl frowning again. It wasn’t that he didn’t think Beth capable of splitting wood, it just seems odd that she would need to do it, that Hershel or her husband would not have taken care of it. However, right then Julie runs out, her long brown curls flying in the wind.

“Mama, look,” the young girl exclaims, holding up a finger with a ladybug on it.

“Very pretty baby,” Beth coos and watching them makes Daryl want to smile, his lips ever so slightly jerking upward on their own accord.

“You have to get ready for school,” Beth tells her daughter, after the little red and black bug flies off.

“I am ready,” Julie insists.

“Where is your backpack,” the blonde questions, going into mother mode.

“It is right inside,” Julie moans, giving Daryl the feeling that this is a routine interaction in the morning.

“Well go grab it, we have to get going,” insists Beth, shooing her child gently back into the house.

“She is just like ya,” Daryl comments when Julie has run back inside.

“Julie is the best thing about my life,” Beth replies smiling at him, “I’m sorry to leave you on your own this morning, but I have to take her to school. If you want, there are pancakes inside when you get done.”

Daryl nods and watches as Beth walks back into the house before leading her daughter to the truck and driving off. He finishes a few more logs before making his way into the house and inhaling the most amazing pancakes he has ever tasted. Afterwards, he heads outside to mow the lawn, only to find that the push mower doesn’t work. He sits down in the grass and starts tinkering with it. He never had any actual training as a mechanic, but he also never had money to pay to get anything fixed, so he had learned through trial and error over the years.

“Daryl,” comes Beth’s sweet voice and he looks up from where he is laying on the ground to squint up at the beautiful face that is haloed by the sun, “you are a guest, you don’t have to work.”

“Would be an awfully sorry sort of guest if I didn’t,” he answers, not convinced in the least by her words.

Despite helping out, Daryl doesn’t think he will ever feel like he has paid Beth back, not just for opening up her home to him, but for all those years ago, when she was the only one that cared about him. She was the one who had made him believe that there were good people, that life could be better for him. He could work here his whole life and not do enough to repay her.

“Thank you Daryl, really,” she tells him in a sincere voice that has him shrugging his shoulders and turning back to the lawnmower before he focuses too much on what that voice does to him.

“I’m going to be in the barn working with the horses and maybe in the office of the barn taking some calls,” the blonde tells him, “if you need me, just stop by.”

He nods curtly and tries not to watch as she walks away. He feels like some sort of pervert watching the young woman. It makes him angry, Beth has done nothing but be nice to him since the moment she met him, she is married and has a kid, he has no right to be thinking anything other than innocent thoughts about her. However, being the dirty, redneck he is, his mind can’t help but wander. Grinding his teeth, he throws himself into getting the machine going until it starts and the motor sounds strong and steady. Then, he mows the yard, enjoying the burn in his legs and the sun beating on his arms, because he deserves the punishment after the way he had been looking at the young woman.

Finally, he finishes, inspecting his handiwork. The yard looks decent enough, but there are still weeds around spots he couldn’t reach. Swapping out the mower for a weedeater, he puts the finishing touches on his work. As he is putting the weedeater in the shed, he figures it is about noon. The archer is drenched in sweat and grass, but he feels awkward just walking into the house and using the shower without permission. Instead, he makes his way over to the barn, stopping by the water trough for the horses and dunking his head in it to clean off a bit. When he comes up, he shakes the water out of his hair, which is followed by a tinkling laugh.

“What are you, a dog,” asks Beth, laughing at the sight of him.

Standing there with his hair dripping water all over his already damp shirt, he shrugs and looks down at his hands.

“I’m kidding,” Beth smiles at him, “but you do know you are welcome to use the shower in the house.”

“Didn’t want to just walk in your house when you aren’t in there,” the rough man insists, glancing up at the blonde from under his dark brown hair.

“You don’t need to feel like that Daryl,” Beth insists, her cheeks lightly flushed for some reason, “I completely trust you.”

“Well,” he says hesitantly, rubbing one hand up and down the back of his neck, “maybe once your parents and husband know I’m here and if they are okay with it, wouldn’t want to surprise them whenever they get home.”

“Oh,” Beth breathes, looking pained for just a second before it disappears, “I keep forgetting that you haven’t been around in a long time, you don’t know anything about what has happened.”

Daryl frowns, not liking the sound of what she has just said.

“My mother died of cancer six years ago,” Beth explains, her eyes watering, and her right hand messing with the bracelets on her left wrist, “then daddy passed away three years ago when he injured himself falling off the tractor onto one of the blades. Doctors couldn’t save him.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Daryl says, but the words sound hollow, “they were good people.”

“They were,” she says with a small little smile that makes Daryl wish there was more he could do.

“Anyways,” the blonde continues, “Maggie went off with Glenn, her husband, they are both running a pizza place out in Atlanta. I stayed here and took over the farm and my daddy’s vet practice. He taught me most of the basics before he passed away and I had started vet school, obviously didn’t finish when Julie came along, so there is still stuff I’m figuring out. It has been rough, taking care of Julie and trying to keep the farm and vet clinic going, but it is worth it.”

“What about Julie’s dad,” Daryl asks, “ain’t he helping out?”

“No, Jimmy didn’t stick around,” Beth admits, looking ashamed, “we started dating when I went to college, shortly after I found out I was pregnant. He wanted me to get rid of her, I couldn’t do that. So that was the end of our relationship.”

“That son-of-a-bitch,” Daryl swears, the anger growing in him at the thought of a guy leaving not just his own flesh and blood, but the wonderful woman that Beth had become.

“It’s alright,” Beth promises him, “Julie and I are getting along fine with just each other, and Patricia and Otis help out when they can. Things haven’t been easy, but I don’t regret it, because Julie is the best part about my life, I wouldn’t trade her for anything.”

“She’s a good kid,” Daryl agrees, “deserves better than a father who walked out on her.”

“She does,” Beth admits, “I try to make it up to her by being there for her, but it is hard being a single parent, sometimes I feel like a failure.”

“Nah,” he vehemently disagrees, “that kid is lucky to have you for her mother, any kid would be.”

That makes Beth’s whole face brighten and for once Daryl feels like he has done the right thing. Walking over hesitantly to him, the young woman wraps her arms around his waist, causing him to freeze just like he had the first time she had hugged him so many years ago. However, this is a completely different experience. The blonde smells so wonderful, like peaches, and her soft cheek is pressed into his chest where his shirt is unbuttoned at the top. Her hair feels so soft and silky against his chin and he has the urge to run his fingers through it. Instead, he settles for reaching out and touching her elbow, which causes the young woman to look up, her big blue eyes taking him in. After a second, she steps back, adjusting the strap on her shirt, which had started to slide down her shoulder in a very distracting way. He is clearing his throat and remembering to avert his eyes when she speaks.

“Ready for some lunch,” she asks, beginning the walk back to the house.

Like he had always done, Daryl follows anywhere she leads him. Once they are inside, the blonde is fixing sandwiches. Not the crappy kind like he used to make for himself with stale bread, a piece of cheap cheese, and a couple scraps of meat. No, these are good sandwiches made from fresh bread and have a crap-ton of good turkey meat with tomatoes and pickles. On the side are a couple of peach and apple slices, along with a big glass of sweet tea. He is finished before the blonde has had more than a couple bites.

“Want more,” she offers, but he declines, already feeling bad enough accepting all her hospitality.

Instead, he just leans back in the chair, enjoying the air conditioning and watching while Beth eats. She does so delicately, taking small careful bites of her sandwich, occasionally interrupted by her nibbling on an apple or peach slice.

“I ain’t had food that good since,” he tells her, “well damn, since you made me food back in school.”

“It wasn’t anything special,” the blonde insists, smiling shyly at him.

“It was,” he corrects, then after a moment’s hesitation adds “……was the only food I ate sometimes.”

“Oh,” she breathes, staring at him.

When they were younger, he hadn’t let on much about his home life and the blonde had been too young to really guess at it, but now things were different. Not that he was planning on saying much more than that, but Beth seemed to get a lot out of that one statement. She is staring at him, not with pity or disgust, but with a curiosity that makes Daryl think she actually wants to know more about him, even the shitty parts. She opens her mouth to speak when the phone rings. Jumping up from the table, Beth answers it.

“You cow is giving birth,” she exclaims, “of course, I can come right away.”

The blonde hangs the old house phone back on the hook and pulls out a more modern cellphone, her fingers nimbly hitting digits. It is obvious that whoever she is calling doesn’t answer, so she hangs up and tries again.

“Hello Patricia, it is Beth,” the blonde tells the voicemail, “I need you to pick up Julie from school if I’m not done with a house visit. Please give me a call back when you get this.”

With a click, Beth starts getting her things together, obviously worried as she mutters about how Patricia’s phone hasn’t been working well and her aunt might not even get her call.

“I can pick her up,” Daryl offers, wanting to be of help.

“You can,” Beth exclaims, her eyes shining with relief, “oh, thank you so much Daryl.”

“Ain’t nothin,” he shrugs as he watches her runs out the door.

“Julie gets out at three-thirty, since she is still young, you have to go and pick her up from the classroom rather than wait in the pickup line, her room is 1D,” the blonde instructs over her shoulder and then she is gone.

Daryl does a couple more chores outside before going inside to use the shower. He still feels awkward just going in the house without Beth there, like any second someone will pop out and yell at him for being somewhere he shouldn’t. However, it is quiet. It makes him kind of sad, remembering how many people used to live here, how lively the farm was all those years ago. Pulling on fresh clothes, Daryl hops in his truck and drives into town. He parks at the school, which is already filled with cars of parents there to pick up their kids.

As a young boy, he had always wondered what it would be like to have someone waiting to pick him up, now he is here to pick a kid up. It almost makes him happy as he gets out of his truck, like he is somehow finally participating in an event that was always out of his reach. It may have taken an extra fifteen years, but he is doing something normal people do. The small bit of happiness dies when he sees how all the parents glance at him warily. Some things never change. He had almost forgotten what he looked like to the outside world, it was like he had gotten wrapped up in Beth’s bubble, how she saw past his rough exterior and included him. However, he very much does not belong here. Hunching his shoulders, he walks faster, past the line of cars, all with the eyes on him, until he turns the corner and is out of sight.

Breathing a little easier, Daryl heads for the building labeled one, which has the youngest kid’s classrooms. Once inside, he heads down to the room labeled with the letter D over it and knocks. The door is opened by a blonde woman with a nametag that says Jessie. The teacher’s eyes go wide at the sight of him and she doesn’t open the door all the way.

“I’m here for Julie,” he manages to choke out after a moment, regretting ever agreeing to do this.

“And you are,” the teacher asks uncertainly, her eyes flashing down the hall, as if hoping another teacher might be nearby.

“A friend of her mom’s,” Daryl explains, uncomfortably, “supposed to pick up Julie.”

“I don’t believe you are on the pickup list,” Jesse informs him, looking scared but determined.

It makes him sick to realize that this woman actually thinks he would try to harm any of the kids in that classroom. He knows he looks rough and he is, but he isn’t a bad person.

“Can you call her,” Daryl asks, right as a little body slips between the teacher and the door, running out to attach herself to his leg.

“Daryl,” Julie says with almost worship like happiness, “did mommy send you to get me?”

“She sure did,” he answers and at this interaction, the teacher seems to relax just a little bit, opening the door.

“How about the two of you wait in here while I call Beth and just confirm,” she asks, sounding a bit more at ease than before.

Daryl nods and walks in, only to be met by the eyes of about fifteen children. They all stare but only one boy comes forward.

“Is this your daddy Julie,” the little boy asks.

“Ummmm,” Julie begins, looking a bit downcast before getting saved by another kid interrupting.

“Are the wings on your jacket an angel’s,” a young girl questions, looking up at him.

Daryl nods and for some reason this seems to please the child.

“See,” the girl shoots at one of the boys, “I told you angel wings aren’t just for girls.”

The archer can’t help but snort and it is like that one action makes all the kids unafraid of him. They crowd around asking questions and Julie stands beside him the whole time, holding his hand and looking so proud. Several ask what he does and that throws him for a loop so he just mumbles. For the life of him, Daryl can’t make sense of the whole situation but finally Jesse gets off the phone and announces that Daryl has been placed on the pickup list. As they make their way out to his truck, Julie little hand holds his own and she skips and smiles.

“Gosh dang girl, you are like the energizer bunny,” Daryl grouches as he helps her up into his truck, but there is no real bite to it.

“I’m just happy,” she answers.

“About what,” he mutters, as he gets in the driver’s side.

“My daddy never comes and picks me up,” Julie tells him sadly and it breaks his heart a little, “all the other kids have daddies that come pick them up from school. I know you aren’t my daddy….but it was nice to pretend like that was how it would be like.”

“If ya want, I can pick you up tomorrow,” Daryl finds himself offering and he is meet with a squeal of delight.

They drive home and Julie chatters away, pointing out her favorite flowers on the side of the road and talking about all the animals she likes. Both topics are quite a long list but Daryl is happy to listen in silence, nodding where appropriate. When they get to the house, he helps Julie out and then they go together to take care of the horses. He just does his best based on what he saw Beth do yesterday and Julie helps a little bit. Between the two of them, they get the horses fed and the stalls mucked out. The child is fearless, running right up to the magnificent beasts, feeding them sugar cubes, giving Daryl a heart attack every two seconds. It is like the horses know though to be careful around her, but that doesn’t keep the redneck from keeping a hawk eye on her, ready to jump between her and the animals if the need arises.

“Only mamma can feed Nelly,” Julie informs her when they get to the last stall, “I’m not supposed to, because Nelly is so scared, she accidentally hurts people.”

Sure enough, it is the same horse Beth showed him years ago. The animal looks much older now, probably close to dying, but there is still a spark in the creature’s eye and Daryl has no doubt that the beast could put him on his back in a second. Taking one of the sugar cubes from Julie, Daryl holds it out.

“Nelly, ya remember me girl,” he asks, “I know it has been a long time.”

“You have met Nelly,” Julie asks, looking up at him as he holds the sugar cubes out but doesn’t advance towards the horse at all.

“Yeah, your mama showed her to me years ago,” Daryl answers.

“How long have you known my mama,” Julie asks, curious.

“Since she was a little bit older than you,” he answers, “you are a lot like her.”

Suddenly, his attention is drawn back to the feeling of breathe on his hand, followed by wet lips pulling the sugar cubes out of his palm. As soon as the food is gone, Nelly retreats and so does Daryl, not wanting to push his luck.

“I’ve never seen anyone else feed Nelly,” Julie says in amazement, “she must really like you.”

Daryl grunts and they head back to the house. Once inside, Julie announces that she is hungry.

“What do ya want,” the older man asks, at a loss as to what to feed a young child.

“Grilled cheese,” is the answer he gets.

Sounds simple enough, he has never made one but how hard can it be? Turns out it is pretty damn hard. His final product is a bit burnt but looks alright enough, but Julie takes one bite and spits it back out.

“That bad,” he asks, “well, you are used to having your mama cook and she is pretty damn good at it.”

“Bad word,” Julie admonishes him and he can’t help but snort, “I’m gonna tell mama.”

“You go right ahead you tattletale,” Daryl snorts as he digs around for peanut butter and jelly because he can at least make that.

“Go ahead and tell me what,” comes a pretty voice that startles Daryl and he jumps up, hitting his head on the pantry shelf, which elicits a ‘fuck’ from him.

“That,” Julie immediately rats him out, pointing a finger in his direction as he holds the back of his head with one hand and the jar of peanut butter in the other.


	8. Said You Liked My Edges Rough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since I got this question, I figure some others may be wondering about the timeline of when events occurred in the 15 years Beth and Daryl were apart. So, Beth is now 25 and Daryl is 31. Shawn died in a car crash at age 18, when Beth was 17. Then, Annette died of cancer when Beth was 19. Her mom's battle with cancer and Beth trying to take her life after Annette passed away caused Beth to start school to become a vet later than originally planned, at age 20. Maggie marries Glenn and Beth reunites with Jimmy when she finds out they are going to the same college. Beth and Jimmy start dating when Beth is 21 and shortly after Beth becomes pregnant. Jimmy wants Beth to get an abortion, but she refuses and drops out of vet school to have her daughter Julie. Then, when Beth is 22, Hershel has an accident on the tractor, despite being rushed to the hospital, he doesn't make it. Beth makes the decision to take over the farm and her daddy's vet business. Patricia and Otis help all they can throughout, but life is still difficult for Beth, being a single mother and trying to take care of the farm and her own business.

“Well I think I will let him off the hooks this one time,” Beth tells her daughter, planting a kiss on the girl’s head before looking over at him with a certain spark in her eyes that almost looked playful, “since he did do me a favor and pick you up.”

“He did and Daryl is going to pick me up again tomorrow,” Julie announces, jumping out of her chair and running around excitedly.

“He is,” Beth asks, glancing at Daryl for confirmation.

“Ain’t like I got anything else to do,” he shrugs off, but both of the girls are smiling at him now.

“Daryl is good at picking me up from school and feeding the horses,” Julie announces, “but he isn’t good at making grilled cheese.”

This has Beth snorting and covering her mouth as she glances down at the half-burnt meal and over at the older man who looks out of place holding the jar of peanut butter.

“Well, how about since the two of you already fed horses, I worry about dinner,” Beth makes a deal with her daughter, who agrees happily.

“Do you have homework,” Beth asks, to which her daughter nods.

“Go do it,” the blonde orders, “after dinner I will help you if you need it.”

“Okay mommy,” Julie answers, running off to get her backpack.

“They get homework at that age,” Daryl asks incredulously. 

“Kids get homework in every grade,” Beth explains as she butters several slices of bread.

That is where he went wrong, he didn’t butter anything. He watches as the blonde works, laying several slices of cheese on each piece of bread, heating it up in the pan. The young woman also starts making a pot of tomato soup. Beth’s hair is falling out of her ponytail and while she seems to have washed herself up the best she could after work, there is a little blood on her otherwise clean, yellow shirt. She is still the prettiest woman Daryl has ever seen. When she glances up, he immediately hangs his head down, hiding behind his long hair. He doesn’t have any right to be staring at Beth like he had been.

“Thanks, for picking Julie up today,” Beth tells him, “and for agreeing to do it again tomorrow. It means a lot to her.”

Luckily, he is saved from responding by Beth finishing the food and calling Julie to dinner. Once again it is some of the best food ever. The sandwich is just butter, cheese, and bread, but it is exponentially greater than Daryl’s attempt. He doesn’t know how the young woman makes everything taste like a piece of heaven, but he could eat her cooking forever. Julie talks about her day, while dipping her grilled cheese in the soup.

Afterwards, Daryl sits on the couch and watches Beth help Julie with her homework. The young woman is so patient and kind, teaching her daughter the ABCs and her numbers, sweetly correcting every mistake while still being encouraging. The scene before him is like a dream, nothing at all like his childhood. No one is yelling or screaming, there isn’t junk laying everywhere and the smell of alcohol and smoke permeating every corner. This is different and it is nice and it is everything he never had or could ever deserve.

“All right,” Beth tells Julie as they finish the homework, “go get ready for bed, I will be there in a minute to tuck you in.”

The girl bounds up the steps and soon it is just Daryl and Beth.

“Did you sleep okay last night,” Beth asks him, “do you need any more blankets or anything?”

“Nah, I’m fine,” Daryl answers, this has been by far the comfiest place he has ever stayed, the idea of anything being lacking about it is absurd, “I won’t bother you much longer, probably head out the day after tomorrow, if that is okay.”

“Oh,” Beth breathes, looking down at her hands a bit dejected.

It is almost like she is sad he is going to be leaving.

“Of course that is okay,” she assures him, looking up again, “it has been really nice having you Daryl. The house just hasn’t been the same since……it used to be so full of people and life and noise and sometimes it feels so big and empty now,……but having you around, it has made both Julie and I so happy.”

He snorts at the very idea that he has anything to offer Beth or Julie, the brightest, happiest individuals he knows.

“Really Daryl,” Beth insists, “and if you are ever in town again, my home is always open to you.”

He nods but can’t seem to get any words out.

“Mommy,” Julie calls from upstairs.

“Coming sweetheart,” Beth replies, standing up and walking past Daryl, laying a hand on his shoulder and giving him a smile before going up the steps.

He just sits there in silence, a thought turning in his head about how it would be to spend every night like he had just now, watching two of the sweetest, prettiest girls he knows spending time together. The redneck quickly pushes the idea aside. No matter what Beth had said, no matter how much he enjoyed it here, the fact was that he didn’t belong. People like him lived their whole lives in shitty trailers, in crappy company, with the only comfort being a bottle of alcohol or a line of white powder. They don’t just set up camp in a big, nice house with some beautiful woman who smiles at them like they are worth something and a little girl who is just like her mother. Even if Beth said she wanted him here, his father’s voice whispers in his head that she was lying, that no woman would ever want him around. Before he can get too lost in self-loathing, a soft voice carries lyrics down to his ears.

“Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it’s evergreen,” sings Beth and the voice is so similar to the one he heard years ago, but it is more refined, more polished, but still distinctly Beth’s.

He finds his feet carrying him up the steps and walking over to the room with an open door that the singing is coming from. The song takes him back to that music room all those years ago, to the young girl that had sung for him. Not much has changed. He is still a nobody and she is still the only light in his world.

“Baby your smile’s forever in my mind and memory,” Beth sings from where she is perched on Julie’s bed, the little girl staring up at her mother.

The blonde’s golden hair falls over her shoulder and two big blue eyes stare up at her with a worship greater than any audience could ever give her. He feels like he should leave, like this is some special moment he shouldn’t be witnessing, but he is so enthralled by the sight and the sound that instead he moves closer, leaning up against the door, watching the two females. The archer leans his head against the door frame, letting the sound wash over him.

“I’m thinking about how people fall in love in mysterious ways,” Beth continues, only to be cut off when Julie notices him and says his name.

The blonde whips around, her face turning a dark shade of red and Daryl immediately begins mumbling out an apology and begins to stammer out some stupid excuse to check something outside when Beth shakes her head.

“It’s okay Daryl,” she promises, the bright red slowly fading away, “I was just surprised is all, you don’t have to leave.”

Beth’s deep blush isn’t what the archer normally associates with being startled, but he doesn’t know what else it could be about, so he just hangs his head and shuffles into the room.

“Why don’t ya sing some more,” he requests, unable to look the blonde in the eye.

“Yes,” agrees Julie, “sing more mommy!”

The blonde clears her throat and continues as Daryl leans his back against the wall, completely relaxed now that he doesn’t feel like he is spying.

“I’ll just keep on making the same mistakes,” Beth begins, “Hoping that you will understand.”

Slowly, Julie’s eyelids drop closed.

“I’m thinking out loud,” the mother sings in a low whisper, before kissing her daughter’s head.

“Maybe we found love right where we are,” she finishes, pulling the covers up around Julie before turning and meeting Daryl’s eyes with a piercing stare that pins him in place.

Daryl has never been good at understanding people, but with one look Beth Greene conveys more to him than most people ever have talking. Those big doe-like eyes are begging him to stay, telling him he belongs here, that she cares about him. Just as fast as the look hits him, the blonde averts her beautiful eyes and looks shyly down at the floor, before walking forward and motioning for them to leave silently.

He does so easily, used to slipping through the woods without making a sound. Once outside, Beth shuts the door behind them and it is just the two of them and they make their way downstairs. They stop at the fridge and Beth packs Julie’s lunch for the next day and sings every now and then. When she is finally finished, the blonde looks over at him expectantly and he isn’t sure what to do.

“Umm, night,” he blurts out awkwardly, unsure of what else to do and begins walking towards the stairs.

He almost makes it there too.

“Wait Daryl,” Beth stops him, gently grabbing his arm, which has him turning back around.

God, how can anyone be so fucking beautiful even after a full day of hard work? He doesn’t know, her face is so close to his and it is just the two of them and he is having trouble breathing much less thinking. Somehow though, his scrambled mind still manages to piece together the idea of what would happened if he just leaned down, pressed his lips to those pretty pink ones that were so close to his.

“Hell no,” he shuts himself down before he can even consider a happy ending to that scenario, because there isn’t one.

No way in fucking hell does someone as wonderful as Beth want his hands or his lips anywhere on her. Sure, for some reason he still can’t fathom the blonde likes having him around, always has. That doesn’t mean she wants any more than that. Even if she did, she deserves better than him anyway. Why his mind keeps coming up with these ideas is beyond him, he never had this sort of trouble before.

Suddenly, Beth is up on her tiptoes and pressing her lips to the scruff on his cheek and his mind really does stop. All he can smell is Beth, which is a mixture of strawberries and hay, and the whole left side of his face is tingling. He just wants to grab her and pull her into his arms, feel her heart beating against his. Daryl’s mind runs through all the other places he would like those lips to be. However, he settles for staying as still as a statue, scared that if he moves he will do the wrong thing.

“Thanks again,” Beth tells him, her blue eyes set intently on him, “for picking her up from school and for agreeing to do so again tomorrow. As I was tucking her in she was going on and on about how happy she is.”

“No need to thank me for that,” Daryl huffs, “ain’t no big deal.”

“It is more than her own father has done for her,” Beth disagrees, “you are a good man Daryl Dixon. I’ve known that since the moment I laid eyes on you though.”

He can feel his neck burn and his mouth goes dry. The older man had forgotten just how straightforward Beth Greene was, how she spoke exactly what was on her mind.

“I ain’t,” he disagrees, feeling shame burn inside of him.

He has never understood what she saw in him, but while the looks Beth gives him make him feel proud of himself for once in his life, she also doesn’t know the whole truth.

“You are,” Beth disagrees, crossing her arms as if ready to defend his own honor against himself.

“Haven’t even seen me in fifteen years, don’t know anything about me,” he huffs, immediately throwing walls up like he has done so many times before.

“I don’t know what you have been doing, but I know you are a good man,” she insists and it pains him to know that he in no way lives up to her high opinion of him.

“No,” he answers, feeling like he is ripping his own heart out of his chest, but he can’t lie to Beth, “Do you want to know what I have been doing this whole time, since I dropped out of high school? I had just been drifting around with Merle, doing whatever he said we were going to be doing that day. I’m a nobody, a nothing. A redneck asshole who had an even bigger asshole for a brother.”

He steps right up in Beth’s face, his one features twisted in a snarl, but she doesn’t look scared like most would. He can’t help it, his automatic emotion when he is scared of getting hurt by someone is to push them away with his anger. It is the only way he knows how to protect himself and he needs to protect himself because after what he has just said, once it sinks in, the only person he has left will want nothing to do with him.

“People would walk on the other side of the street to stay away from us and I can’t blame them because we were just as bad as they thought! We stole people’s shit, we traded whatever we had for beer and smokes, often had to leave town before the law caught up with us,” he exclaims, waving his hands around, “Hell! That is the one thing your sister ever got right, that I wasn’t worth hanging around. What the fuck can’t you get about that?”

“That isn’t true Daryl,” Beth insists, getting in his face as well, “I have known since the moment I saw you all those years ago that you are a good person. I have never felt safer than when you are around, Julie feels it too.”

“Safer,” he spits out, taking a step back, retreating, “safe? What fucking bullshit is this? I can’t keep anyone safe? Couldn’t keep myself safe as a kid, couldn’t keep your ass safe in school.”

“You did, you stopped them Daryl,” Beth insists, “I remember, you came and stopped them from hurting me.”

“They wanted to hurt you because of me,” he snaps back, his chest heaving, his eyes wide, “without me, nothing would have ever happened to you. You would have been better off without me! I didn’t do Merle a lot of good either…couldn’t stop them from…..”

In that moment it all comes back to him, the beatings he received as a kid, the moment he realized Beth was missing at lunch, and the way Merle looked at him as he bled out. His eyes are tearing up and he can hear both Merle and his paw calling him a pansy, laughing about how weak he is.

“If I had just tried harder,” he chokes out, turning away so Beth wouldn’t see his face, “maybe he would still be alive, maybe those boys would have never gotten to you in the first place, maybe….”

He is interrupted by two lean, muscular arms wrapping around his waist, holding him together. Hair brushes his neck as Beth shakes her head vehemently.

“No,” she whispers and it is like all the hate and anger and guilt he felt is struck right at its very core, “none of that is your fault.”

Then, her arms are wrapping around him tighter as he starts full out sobbing like a fucking baby. Beth doesn’t make fun of him or call him names. At some point he realizes they are both on the floor. Beth is humming and he can feel the vibrations in his back, it helps calm him. Her bracelets are stabbing him in the side but he doesn’t mind enough to move. He puts one hand down over Beth’s and squeezes, before clearing his throat. She takes this as a sign to let go and he immediately feels colder without her.

Feeling awkward, Daryl moves, scooting himself up until his back hits the cabinets, Beth sitting the same way opposite to him. He can’t look her in the eye, he feels too exposed after already letting more out than he intended. He doesn’t know what to say or what to do. All she had been doing was thanking him and he had fucked it up, like he does with everything.

“You know,” Beth suddenly says quietly, but it jolts him out of his thoughts.

He raises his eyes just high enough to see her hands, messing with those stupid bracelets again.

“I had hoped that Shawn would find a girlfriend in college,” she tells him, her voice weaving the daydream into reality, “they would graduate and get married and have some kids. I had pictured Maggie settling down too, never with someone like Glenn, but now that I see them together they are perfect for each other. I had dreamed that I would finish vet school and I would get married and have a baby, in that order. Then, we would all meet up at mother and daddy’s house. There would be picnics and birthdays and holidays….and things wouldn’t always be good, but I thought in general we would all be happy.”

Daryl can feel the desire in Beth’s voice from where he is sitting. In that moment, he would give his life if her dreams could just come true, if he could somehow turn back time and make things right for her.

“That is how incredibly stupid I was,” she chokes out with a self-depreciating grin, casting her head down just like he always does.

None of this is right, that is how he is supposed to act, that is how his life is supposed to go, not Beth’s. Nothing about what she wanted is stupid or wrong.

“That is how it should have been,” he assures her, wishing he could do more than offer empty promises.

“I just wish I could change,” she continues, her brow furrowing, “wish I could be stronger, like you, you seem like you can handle anything. I was pretty much useless after each person passed away, went essentially comatose one time, thought there wasn’t anything left to live for.”

“I don’t,” he replies bluntly, causing her head to raise up, “I don’t ever wish you could change. I’m not strong, I’m just used to things being shitty, growing up how I did…..”

Suddenly, he wants to share with her. Not any of stuff about his dad or his family, but for once in his life he wants to share even though it is something small.

“Merle had this dealer,” Daryl starts, even after everything wondering if this will make Beth see him differently, “this janky little white guy. A tweaker.”

Beth leans her head back with a soft thud against the wood, but her eyes remain focused on him, her full attention putting him in the spotlight.

“One day we were over at his house,” the archer continues, “watching TV. Wasn’t even noon yet, we were all wasted. Merle was high. We were watching this show and Merle was talking all this dumb stuff about it. And he wouldn’t let up. Merle never could.”

Daryl can still remember that moment, hearing his brother’s taunts, seeing the anger build in the tweaker’s face, knowing that no matter what he said, nothing would shut his brother up. He had only been on the road with Merle for a few months and already a pattern had emerged.

“Turns out, it was the tweaker kid’s favorite show,” the hunter explains, “and he never sees his kids, so he felt guilty about it or somethin. So he punches Merle in the face. So, I start hitting the tweaker, like hard, as hard as I can.”

“Then, he pulls a gun and sticks it right here,” he says indicating to his own head with his fingers pointed in the shape of a gun, causing Beth’s eyes to widen.

“He says ‘I’m gonna kill you, bitch’,” Daryl tells Beth, remembering the fear in his stomach at hearing those words and feeling the cold metal pressed up against his skull, “so Merle pulls his gun on him. Everyone’s yellin, I’m yellin. I thought I was dead…..over a dumb cartoon about a talkin dog.”

Saying it out loud makes him sound like even more of a loser than he already knew he was. Bringing his thumb up to his mouth, Daryl works on the skin at the edge of his nail. A nervous habit he developed long ago and has never been able to break.

“How’d you get out of it,” asks Beth, sounding genuinely concerned.

“The tweaker punched me in the gut,” he spits out, proving his point that he couldn’t protect anyone, not even himself, “I puked. They both started laughing and forgot all about it.”

“Sad thing is,” he admits after a moment’s silence, “that was one of the better moments of my past fifteen years.”

“Daryl,” Beth tells him, “I don’t completely know what you have been through, I sure didn’t when we were kids. All I knew the day I first met you was that you looked sad and I didn’t know why….I have a good idea now, but at the time I didn’t understand much of it.”

Daryl’s cheeks flame with embarrassment, the remembrance of how much he didn’t have, how much he had relied on Beth for essentially a reason to keep breathing.

“I was worried when you never came back to school,” she suddenly states, her baby blues piercing him right in the chest, “but I’m happy now, because I know you got away from everything.”

“I didn’t,” he admits, head hung, “get away from it that is.”

“You did,” the blonde insists so strongly he almost starts to believe her, “you are here right now and you are a good man, you didn’t let anyone or anything change that about you.”

“I don’t know,” he mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck, not wanting to argue with Beth because he knows she is as stubborn as a mule but he also can’t find it in himself to believe her, not matter how much he wants to.

“Then I’m going to keep telling you,” Beth smiles brightly at him, “until you do know.”

“Only gonna be here another couple days,” he grumbles, not liking how hard the young woman is making it for him to want stay.

“You are going to miss me so bad when you are gone Daryl Dixon,” she suddenly proclaims, a wise look in her eyes that is beyond her years.

“How you figure that girl,” he almost growls, feeling defensive only because it is true.

“Because I missed you,” she admits him with a sad little smile that has his heart tugging in a way that is out of his control.


	9. Felt Your Touch and For the First Time, I Didn't Want to Buck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I took some inspiration from this chapter from Beth and Daryl's time at the funeral home, incorporated it into their current setting and situation. I really am happy with how it turned out. Enjoy!

**2 days later**

Julie is at Otis and Patricia’s house. Daryl had picked the young girl up from school for the third time in a row. He has started to get used to the routine. The smile on the child’s face is worth all the scathing glances thrown at him by the parents. He knows what it was like to have nobody there for him as a kid, so he wanted to be there for Julie, even though she had Beth which essentially made her the luckiest kid on the planet. He had dropped Beth’s daughter off per the mother’s request. Patricia had seemed surprised to see him at the door so Beth obviously hadn’t explained the change in pickup schedule to her aunt.

“Daryl, I wasn’t expecting you,” the older woman had commented.

He had merely nodded and grunted, not sure what else to say.

“It is hard on Beth being a single mother, I’m sure she appreciates your help,” Patricia had added, giving him a small smile, which was better than the look she had given him when he first showed up, “Otis and I aren’t as young as we used to be and we try to help….but having a capable man around the house sure doesn’t hurt.”

“Ain’t nothing,” he had settled on, as he shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably, “Beth has helped me plenty, least I could do.”

“Least you could do is what that damn Jimmy Miller did,” Otis had grunted angrily as he passed by.

“Otis, language,” Patricia reprimanded, “we have a kid in the house.”

“Just saying,” Otis had continued his rant, “thought that boy was nice enough, dressed well, came from a respectable family, but the moment things got hard he sure as hell ran the other direction.”

“Daryl on the other hand isn’t a man afraid of putting in the hard work,” Beth’s uncle had pointed out, causing the archer’s neck to heat up, “Beth could use a dedicated man in her life, Julie too.”

“Daryl is leaving tomorrow,” Patricia reminded her husband, “it isn’t like he is dating Beth.”

“Oh,” Otis had stopped, shifting his attention to the man on the porch, “that’s too bad. I had just assumed…..”

Now that statement had floored Daryl. Who in their right mind would be disappointed that some rough, redneck, biker wasn’t dating their niece, who was much younger and sweeter and the most beautiful woman in town. He had managed to huff out a goodbye as Patricia informed him that Beth could pick Julie up tomorrow at breakfast. The whole drive home his head had been spinning. For some reason, he was still shocked that anyone would think he was good enough for Beth.

When he gets to the Greene farm, he busies himself with chores until the sun is about to set. Beth still isn’t home so Daryl wanders into the house and figures maybe it would be nice to make dinner for the blonde, since she was running late at work and this is his last night there. However, after the previous attempt at cooking, he is a bit more cautious this time. He knows how to cook rabbit and venison and dove, but he hasn’t had a chance to go hunting. Maybe he should some weekend, get a nice catch and bring it back and fix it up for Beth and Julie. The hunter slams his palm on the counter, mad at himself for making up plans in his head when this is his last night here.

Shaking his head so that his long hair slaps his face, he growls before yanking open a cabinet. Playing it safe, he pulls out some peanut butter and jelly, along with the bread. Then, he adds a jar of pickles and a jar of pig’s feet he had picked up at the convenience store. Then, he adds a couple paper plates and a couple sodas. It looks nothing like Beth’s amazing, home-cooked meals, which are probably way more nutritious. Before he can rethink his plan, he hears Beth’s truck pull up in the driveway. Trying to shove aside his nervousness, Daryl goes out to meet the blonde, only to find her limping up the stairs to the porch. The older man is beside the injured woman in an instant.

“What happened,” he asks her, reaching out to steady the blonde.

“Stepped in a hole out in the field,” Beth explains, “I was so busy trying to get to this sheep that was having trouble giving birth, I wasn’t looking closely enough.”

The woman is holding herself up with the rail and her face is pale. Daryl can’t stand the sight of it. Turning around, he crouches in front of her.

“Jump on,” he instructs.

“A piggyback ride,” Beth’s voice asks in shock, “are you serious?”

“Yeah,” Daryl insists, not backing down despite his embarrassment because his concern for Beth is greater than the red creeping into his face, “this is a serious piggyback.”

“Okay,” Beth breathes and a second of silence passes, where he feels like a complete fool, before suddenly a weight settles on top of him and the young woman’s breath is on his neck.

Instinctively, Daryl’s hands wrap around Beth’s thighs to hold her up, hoisting her higher so she won’t slip. Touching her like this, even though it is just to help because she is injured, has Daryl feeling all sorts of things and so he does his best to push everything back to a more platonic interaction.

“Heavier than you look girl,” he gripes, even though he would carry her anywhere she asked.

The young woman just laughs good naturedly at the statement, wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her face against his cheek. God she feels good against him, with her arms and legs tight around him, makes him think of how else he would like her wrapped around him. He is a fucking dirty pervert and is probably going to hell for even thinking of her that way, but with her touching him like she is, he can’t rightly find the effort to care. Carting the young woman up the stairs and into the house, he heads for the bathroom. Setting the blonde down on the counter, he starts rifling through the medicine drawer until he finds some aspirin and athletic tape. The mother tries to reach down and take her boot off but is having trouble bending her ankle because it is swollen and she is wincing in pain.

“Here, let me get that for you,” Daryl offers, gently pushing her hands away and kneeling down so he can get a better look at her foot.

Carefully, he eases the boot off, which has become tight due to the swelling. Then, he slowly pulls her sock down, exposing the cutest foot with toenails painted a bright pink. Daryl glances up at Beth for permission before pushing her jeans up a few inches, just enough to really get a look at her injury. Sure enough, her ankle is swollen and red. Running only his fingertips lightly down her ankle and up her leg, he probes carefully, noticing when she winces. Taking her calf in one hand and her foot in the other, noticing how his hand completely envelops both, the man pushes, flexing her foot, before releasing and pulling it the other direction. He doesn’t force anything or bend it at too extreme of an angle, but it obvious that the slightest movement pains her.

“Don’t think it is broken,” he comments, “just sprained, best if you stay off it for a few days.”

Reaching for the athletic tape, he begins wrapping the skin-colored material around Beth’s ankle, making sure it is firm enough for support but not too tight to cut off her blood supply. When he is finished, the blonde slowly slides off the counter and tests her weight on her foot.

“I couldn’t have done better myself,” Beth compliments, sending an assessing glance in his direction.

“Had a lot of practice,” is all he says and that drops them into an awkward silence, until Beth’s stomach growls.

“Sorry,” she apologizes, “I missed lunch, I’m just really hungry.”

“I….uhm….got food for you,” Daryl manages to spit out, making sure to keep from making eye contact.

“You made dinner,” Beth questions, looking up at him in surprise.

“I didn’t really make it, I just….threw it together…..,” he fails to explain before trailing off, worrying now that it will seem lame in comparison to the great meals Beth cooks.

“Well, I’m hungry and that sounds great,” the blonde encourages.

They start walking slowly towards the kitchen together, Beth taking small, hesitant steps. Daryl gets more and more anxious the closer they get, he wants to just get it over with and quit worrying if she will like his attempt at a meal or not.

“Hurry up,” he gripes, but there is no real heat behind it.

“I’m going as fast as I can,” Beth points out, continuing on.

He can’t stand waiting or seeing her struggle to walk, so he does something that surprises himself as much as Beth. Without warning, he scopes the young woman up in his arms, bridal style, and carries her into the kitchen, her excited squeal echoing in the house as she wraps her arms around his neck and smiles up at him.

“There ya go,” he tells her, pulling out a chair and settling her in it.

The blonde’s eyes go to the table and take in the random assortment of jars and cans. He suddenly feels a bit silly thinking this would impress her.

“Ain’t much,” he backtracks, “I know it isn’t anything like you can cook but….”

“It’s perfect,” Beth interrupts him, saying so with such a genuine warmth that somehow he believes her.

Undoing the lid on the peanut butter, Beth starts making a sandwich.

“I can’t recall the last time someone tried to make me food,” the blonde says, “I like cooking, but it is really nice to come home and have dinner already taken care of.”

“I wouldn’t call this dinner,” Daryl snorts, “more like a white-trash brunch.”

That gets Beth giggling.

“Well,” she smiles at him as she opens the jelly jar, “this is the best white-trash brunch I have ever had.”

“Smartass,” he retorts, as he settles into the chair next to her, “this is the only white-trash brunch you have ever had.”

“You don’t know that,” she argues, a grin on her face.

“Sure do,” he answers, before sticking his fingers into the pig’s feet and slurping one up.

Beth’s eyes are on him and something tells him she is watching his throat, before she snaps out of it and looks away. It is almost like when he looks at her, but that wouldn’t make any sense. He would have to be delusional to think Beth Greene would ever see in him what he sees in her.

“Did Julie do okay for you today,” the blonde asks him after a few minutes of companionable silence.

“Course,” he answers, “Patricia says you can pick her up tomorrow morning.”

“Great, thank you Daryl,” Beth smiles at him, “can you get me that list by the fridge and the pencil.”

The hunter gets up and retrieves the items, handing them over and watching as the blonde starts writing.

“What’s that for,” he asks after a moment.

“A to-do list,” the blonde answers, looking up from her writing, “I’ve got a lot to do and I try to organize what I need to get done when Julie is with Patricia, it is easier to concentrate.”

Suddenly, Daryl is struck by the intense feeling that Beth shouldn’t have to be doing this all alone. She is already overwhelmed by being a single mother and all her work, now she has a sprained ankle too. There ain’t no way in hell she is going to get the rest she needs to heal with all the stuff she is writing down on that damn paper.

“What,” Beth asks, her blue eyes catching his own, which have been staring as he was lost in thought.

He hangs his head, hiding behind his hair and shrugs. Already feeling nervous about the thoughts that are threatening to come out of his mouth. Focusing on another pig’s foot, he finds himself speaking.

“Maybe, you don’t have to do all that by yourself,” he blurts out, surprising even himself, before quickly backtracking, “not for long, but just to lend a hand….. if ya want help that is….I mean maybe it is stupid but….”

“You want to stay,” Beth asks, her eyes wide, “I thought you were only in town a couple days.”

He can only shrug and focus on the food in his hands.

“What changed your mind,” she questions, and he mumbles, unwilling to look up.

“Don’t ‘mmmm’,” she imitates he grumble, “what changed your mind?”

Finally, Daryl raises his head and just like he knew he would be, he is caught in her bright orbs. He has always been good at hiding his feelings, keeping his face blank, but when it comes to Beth it is like he is wide-open book, everything just pouring out. His eyes lock on hers and he can’t look away because he just put everything on the line. Against his better judgement and the advice his brother has always given him, he has made himself vulnerable, put himself out there, is at risk of rejection and has every reason to be rejected. He did it though because this is Beth and if there is one person who he is willing to risk everything for, it is her. As if she can read his thoughts, the blonde’s eyes widen.

“Oh,” she breathes, and he quickly looks down, feeling like he has given away a lot more of his feelings than he intended.

Suddenly, the doorbell rings and Daryl quickly jumps up, relieved by the interruption.

“I’ll get it,” he offers, before fixing Beth with a stare, “don’t you move.”

Making his way to door Daryl feels like his whole head is buzzing. He feels like he could run a whole marathon but also like he could just puke up everything he ate. One part of himself is pissed for wanting more from Beth, wanting to stay longer. She is the only person he has in his life and if this causes her to push him away he is really going to be down shit-creek without a paddle. Another part thought, a very small part that he hadn’t even known existed until now is happy. That small bit wants him to say to hell with whoever is knocking and run back and kiss the ever-loving daylights out of Beth Greene and just maybe she wouldn’t mind it.

However, it could be Patricia with Julie, maybe something is wrong. Hopefully not, probably just some person who needs their horse or other animal looked at. If so he is going to tell them to fuck off because the last thing Beth needs right now is more work, no injured animal is more important than the young woman getting her rest. They can come back in the morning.

However, when he opens the door, there is a young, well-groomed man standing on the doorstep. He has brown hair and brown eyes and as far as Daryl can tell, he doesn’t have a pet.

“What do you want,” he growls, annoyed that someone is bothering them this late at night.

“Who are you,” asks the stranger in surprise, staring up at him like he has the right to question Daryl presence here.

That pisses the hunter off.

“Ain’t none of your damn business,” he bites back, “why don’t you come back in the morning during normal hours?”

“I am here to talk to Beth,” the young man insists.

“Daryl, who is at the….,” Beth begins to ask from behind him, because of course she didn’t listen, “….Jimmy, what are you doing here?”

Suddenly, everything is clicking and Daryl glances back at the young man in front of him, who is Julie’s father, Beth’s ex-boyfriend.

“Fucking prick,” he accuses, before spitting at the man’s feet and slamming the door shut.

“Daryl,” Beth gasps, “you can’t just do that to people.”

“Why not,” he gripes, “he deserves it.”

“But Julie doesn’t,” the blonde argues, “if Jimmy wants to be part of her life in any way, think of how happy that would make her.”

That has Daryl hanging his head, because the damn woman is always right, even when he really wishes she wasn’t. The mother opens the door, smiling warmly at the man who abandoned both her and her daughter. He doesn’t know how she does it, he sure as hell can’t. The opposite of Beth’s sunny smile, he glares at the man standing in the doorway, as if through his piercing gaze alone he can will the man to quit being a shitty dad.

“Um, hello Jimmy,” Beth answers cordially, “is there a reason you are here?”

“Wanted to see if Julie was around,” Jimmy gets out, his eyes darting between Beth and Daryl.

“Never cared before,” Daryl mutters under his breath, because he has dealt with enough people to know that they don’t suddenly change overnight.

Beth ignores his remark and continues in a pleasant, but firm manner.

“She is at her aunt and uncles right now, but she will be back in the morning if you wanted to spend some time with her,” Beth explains, “I’m sure she would excited to see you. However, in the future, please call before you show up.”

“Oh, okay then,” Jimmy backtracks, a small frown on his face.

The bastard thinks he can just walk back in the door again and would be welcomed with open arms, that everything would go back to normal because he deigned to show his face. That makes Daryl want to punch the ever-loving daylights out of the guy. Beth and Julie both deserve better than some man who drops in when he feels like it, who cares about them only when it suits him. As Jimmy walks down the steps and back to his car, Daryl continues watching out the window until the man turns out of the gate.

A part of him feels victorious, because he is still here and Jimmy is gone. However, he quickly pushes that notion away. It isn’t like Beth is letting him stay here because she sees him as any more than a friend, even if he sees her as so much more. Beth and Julie deserve better than Jimmy, but they deserve better than him too. He learned as a kid that he is a nobody, a nothing. Then, he let Beth get drug into his own trouble at school, before he up and left her to deal with all the loss in her family. Never called or checked in again until now. Hell, he ain’t much better than Jimmy.

It was just so easy sometimes to think she felt the same way. When Beth would touch him or open up to him or not judge the little he revealed about his past, it made his mind think that just maybe he had a chance. However, it was all in his head. The blonde was sweet and caring and he never had anyone like that in his life so it is natural that he would confuse it, that he would think she cared more than she really did. The hunter needed to stop getting his hopes up and just enjoy the light and love Beth shone into his life while he was around her. The little smiles, the holding of hands, the compliments, and the happiness, all of it was worth more than gold to him. Once he left, there was a good chance he wouldn’t get anymore, so he needed to quit being greedy and just appreciate the little things without expecting more.

That reminds him that he had just put everything on the line, that he had let her read him like the open book that he only is around her. God damn it, he can never do anything right. Around her though, it is hard to think straight, especially when she looks at him with those baby blues that draw him in and seem to whisper how important and good his is. He isn’t though and anyone in town could tell him that. Even if by some miracle, Beth saw him the same way he saw her, nobody else would agree. They would see the most beautiful, amazing girl, somehow stuck with his old, grouchy, crass self.

“Um, Daryl,” Beth broke him out of his thoughts and he turned to find her standing beside him, “just so you know, I wasn’t being nice to Jimmy because I wanted to, it was only for Julie. I don’t still have any feelings for him, if we didn’t have a daughter together, I wouldn’t have given him the time of day.”

“Don’t got to explain it to me,” the older man shrugs, not wanting to finish the conversation from dinner, “ain’t any of my business anyway.”

“But…,” Beth begins, her eyebrows furrowing, he doesn’t let her finish though.

“Night Beth,” he gets out, because ever letting Beth know even a fraction of what he felt for her was a stupid idea and he doesn’t want it to go any further, because it will only hurt worse when she doesn’t feel the same way.

“…..Night Daryl,” the blonde whispers sadly to his back as he is already fleeing up the stairs.


	10. I Love My Heart 'Cause You Stole It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IDK what is up with some parts of the story having paragraph indents and some not. When I copied it from microsoft word to the archive chapter upload, it indented some and not others. I messed around for a bit and finally gave up.

Jimmy does come by the next day, but he seems a lot more interested in Beth than Julie. Daryl tries to make himself scarce, doing work outside, throwing himself into physical tasks until he is so exhausted he can’t even think about what is going on in the house. He had snatched the list Beth had made off the table and gotten to work. At one point he is putting a new hose on the faucet at the back of the house, when he hears Jimmy and Beth talking. Daryl isn’t trying to eavesdrop, but the window is cracked and he can’t help but listen as he works.

“I’m just worried about the two of you,” Jimmy warns, “the guy seems dangerous and I don’t want him around.”

“He is not dangerous,” Beth disagrees, “This isn’t some random guy, it is Daryl, he went to school with us, don’t you remember him?”

“Yeah,” Jimmy continues, “I do remember him, he was older than us and had a bad rep around school, got into fights.”

“You just never really got to know him,” the mother insists adamantly.

“Look, I just think it would be best if he wasn’t staying in the house with you,” Jimmy pushes, “people around town are talking.”

“Well,” Beth answers and Daryl can practically see the fire in her eyes, “that isn’t something you get a say in anymore, nor does anyone in this town.”

“Can you just tell me one thing,” Jimmy insists.

“What,” Beth snaps out.

“Your ankle, did he do that to you,” the ex-boyfriend asks, causing Daryl to hang his head in shame.

No matter how damn hard he tries, people still think he is just like his father. He would sooner chop off his own hand before he touched Beth in anger.

“Daryl would never hurt me,” Beth immediately responds, anger in her voice,

“And what about Julie,” Jimmy continues, “I don’t feel safe having my daughter staying in the same house as that rough redneck!”

“Daryl has only been kind and helpful to Julie and I since he got here,” Beth snaps, “and I’m not going to have anyone come into my house and criticize one of my guests, not even you! Now you came here for Julie, are you going to spend time with your daughter or not?”

There is silence, before the two move away from the window. Daryl stands frozen in place. He has never had anyone stand up for him the way Beth does. However, that nice feeling is overwhelmed by the knowledge that there are in fact people talking. There have always been people talking about him, whispering behind his back, but now he has drug Beth into the gossip as well. He feels like such an asshole. The hunter doesn’t want the blonde to have to deal with all the harsh words and stares, he knows personally just how hard it can be. He can’t leave either though, because he promised to help Beth and while he is a lot of things, he sure as hell ain’t a liar. He is not going to just up and leave the injured, single mother to do all this hard work on her own. Hopefully, if he works hard enough, it will make up for some of the shit the young woman has to put up with from people in town.

Next is trimming all the trees in the yard. He gets a pair of clippers, a chainsaw, and a ladder. He has been at it for about thirty minutes when an indignant voice calls out from below.

“Hey,” Jimmy hollers up at him, standing a few feet from a branch on the ground, “watch where you are dropping those.”

Daryl stares down at the young man for a few seconds, fantasizing about all the things he wishes he could do to the good-for-nothing bastard.

“Yeah,” he agrees monotone, “sure would be a shame if one hit you on your head.”

“Might knock some damn sense into you,” he growls under his breath, his glare menacing enough to send his message across.

Julie’s father seems angry, but apparently isn’t stupid enough to try and take him, choosing instead to walk away in a huff, slamming the door of his red car before speeding off in a cloud of dust. Figuring now is as good of a time as any, Daryl decides to take a break and get some water, maybe take a piss. He walks in to a squealing Julie. At first he is worried, but then he realizes that the sounds are noises of delight.

“My daddy is going to take me to the father-daughter dance at school next weekend,” Julie announces to Daryl, a big smile on her face.

The older man doesn’t know why, but it hurts a little that someone else can make the young girl smile more than he can. It is stupid, isn’t like he is her father, she already has one who is apparently taking her to some dance.

“Good,” he grunts out, his eyes connecting with Beth’s over the little girl’s head.

The mother looks concerned, her top teeth biting down on her lower lip in a very distracting way. God, he has to stop looking at her like that. It is hard though when she is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. After the little girl runs off to play, he makes his way past Beth into the kitchen, getting a glass of water from the sink, while the blonde leans against the counter.

“Go ahead,” he encourages, sensing that she wants to talk.

“What if I’m making the wrong choice,” Beth blurts out suddenly, worry in her voice, “what if letting Jimmy back into Julie’s life only hurts her if he leaves again?”

“Don’t sound like yourself,” the hunter grunts, before taking a big gulp of water.

“How so,” Beth questions, stepping closer.

He shrugs, putting the glass down before focusing on the knob of a cabinet.

“He is her father….,” the blonde begins.

“Donating your DNA doesn’t make anyone a father,” Daryl snaps out, before realizing how harsh he sounds and calming down a little, “but Julie looks pretty happy, like you said she would.”

“People deserve second chances,” Beth tells him, “there are good people out there who have made mistakes.”

“Now you sound more like yourself,” Daryl comments, wishing he could live in the world the blonde seems to see all around her.

“I just don’t want Julie to hurt like I did,” the blonde admits sadly, her fingers going to her heart necklace and rubbing it, “I want to protect her.”

“Because you are a damn good mother,” is all he says, because it is the truth.

That brings a smile to her face and she nods at him.

“I’m gonna go finish up the trees,” he says after clearing his throat and stepping away from the sink.

“Daryl,” Beth stops him with a hand on his forearm, “you don’t have to kill yourself working like a dog. That whole list doesn’t have to be finished this week.”

The way she is looking at him with those pretty blue eyes, her thumb rubbing up and down his arm, shooting electricity throughout his whole body, it does things to him he can’t even begin to explain. Daryl’s mind starts to run wild, thinking about how he would like to kiss right along the path where Beth’s necklace is laying on her neck and collarbone. His mind focuses on those lips, slightly parted and light pink, just begging to be kissed. He wants the hand on him right now to be in his hair and on his chest and a place a lot further south that has his neck burning red. It is like his body moves of its own accord, leaning into Beth and she leans in towards him, lifting her chin up so she can meet his gaze a little better. Suddenly, those blue eyes are disappearing as Beth’s eyelids close and he has a fleeting thought of ‘holy shit I’m gonna….’

“Mommy,” calls Julie, as she appears around the corner, causing Daryl to jump back violently, yanking his arm away from Beth’s grasp, his face bright red.

“Gonna go…,” he mumbles, before turning and essentially fleeing outside, not even glancing back to see Beth’s bewildered and disappointed face.

Once outside, his brain begins running a million miles a minute. It almost seemed like for a second there he was finally going to give in and kiss Beth. It almost seemed like Beth realized that and wanted him to….but that is insane. No way was that right , he had to be wrong about something. He isn’t sure what but there is no way Beth wanted him to kiss her, wanted his dirty hands on her. He needs to get some self-control and quit acting like a fucking idiot.

Mad at himself, he begins taking his anger out on the trees, cutting all the branches with a ferocity and focus that leaves him almost unable to think about Beth. The key word being almost. At one point, the chainsaw dies and he doesn’t want to leave to get gas. The last few branches aren’t huge, but too big for the clippers. Luckily, there is a machete nearby so he trades out his weapon. Hacking at the branches, enjoying the feel of the burn in his arms and the steady thwack of the metal embedding itself into the wood, he begins to feel more like himself.

“What did that tree ever do to you,” asks a familiar, sweet voice.

Turning with a scowl on his face, he finds Beth Greene standing there with a big glass of lemonade and watching him with interest. She smiles at him when he grunts and walks over to her, grabbing the drink and chugging it down, sweat dripping off of him. He shakes his hair and wood flakes fall, sticking to his dirty, sweaty arms. Fuck, he is disgusting, but the blonde doesn’t seem bothered by it.

“Ain’t you supposed to be resting that ankle of yours,” he questions when her gaze makes him uncomfortable.

“I have a sprained ankle, I’m not a complete invalid,” she jokes, “bringing lemonade outside isn’t exactly physically demanding.”

He snorts, trying not to let his lips turn up at the sides, which isn’t something he normally has to struggle with.

“Still,” he insists, “I got two damn good feet, I can walk into the house myself if I need a drink.”

“Please,” Beth rolls her eyes, “I think you were going to chop at that branch until both of you fell to the ground.”

“That is an awfully smart-ass comment to someone who is helping you with chores,” Daryl gripes, but there is no real heat to it.

“Well then stop helping, dinner is ready anyway,” Beth offers, holding out her hand, her colorful assortment of bracelets standing out against her pale skin.

The hunter hesitates for a second before dropping the machete and letting the soft, but strong, fingers intertwine in his own, pulling him towards the house.

“I made lasagna,” the blonde tells him, like it matters because he would eat literally anything she makes.

He grunts because that is safer than actually saying anything. He notices that while Beth is walking better, she is still limping slightly, especially when they go up the stairs. Hopefully, by the time the week is up, she should be all healed and he can leave knowing the blonde is back to her normal self. The idea of leaving hurts, but it may be best since he can’t seem to stop thinking about the young woman in a way that is so much more than he should. Fuck, he hasn’t the slightest clue where he is going to go after this.

“Daryl,” asks Julie as soon as they walk through the door, “do you go hunting, mommy says you can hunt?”

The hunter nods his head, distracted by the amazing aroma filling the house.

“Are you good,” the little girl asks, bringing a smile to his face.

“Pretty dang good,” he replies with a cocky smirk, because if there is one thing in life he is good at, it is hunting and tracking.

“What do you hunt,” Beth’s daughter insists, obviously amazed.

“Anything I can find,” he answers, his lips tugging into a slight grin, anticipating how his answer is going to cause the child to react, “caught frogs and snakes for dinner before.”

“You ate them,” Julie asks, wide-eyed and horrified.

“Yup,” he continues, “eaten worms too, ain’t half-bad if you close your eyes.”

“Eeeewwwwww,” the little girl exclaims, scrunching her nose up and sticking her tongue out.

That gets Daryl laughing, a hearty rumble deep in his chest that he hasn’t done in years.

“Don’t worry, ain’t gonna make you eat any of those,” he reassures her, “I can also hunt deer and squirrel and hog if that is more to your liking.”

“Deer,” the little girl perks up, looking curious.

“Yeah,” the hunter confirms.

“Mommy used to say that granddaddy and Uncle Shawn would bring home a deer every winter for the family,” Julie tells him, “they used to save it and eat it throughout the year.”

“Yeah,” Daryl agrees, “if you get a big enough one, you can do that.”

“I’ve never had it though,” the girl explains, looking a little sad, “because I was around when granddaddy and Uncle Shawn were not around.”

The kid looks so sad and downcast, Daryl finds himself offering.

“Can get a deer for you,” he suggests, “like going hunting anyway.”

“You would,” exclaims Julie, her eyes lighting up.

“What is Daryl going to be doing,” asks Beth, as she brings the lasagna to the table, steam lifting off the warm meal.

“He is gonna bring home a deer for us to eat,” announces her daughter, pointing at Daryl as if saying it wasn’t obvious enough.

“I haven’t had venison in ages,” Beth breathes, looking almost as excited as Julie and suddenly he knows he did the right thing.

“I’ll go Saturday then,” Daryl decides, figuring it might be best if he is out of the house when Jimmy comes over to pick up Julie for the dance, he can’t stand that fucking guy.

That being decided, they all sit at the table, which is still strange for Daryl, and Beth prays before they tuck in to the food. It is amazing, just like he knew it would be, and he single-handedly clears half the casserole dish before he can stop himself. Then, Julie helps Beth clear the table and watching them, the older man can’t help but feel amazed at the turn his life has taken. He knows it is only temporary, but for once he feels like he belongs, like he is a part of a family. Never in his life did his family eat meals together, much less pray and then talk about each other’s days. Sitting there right now, watching Beth teach Julie how to bring the dishes to kitchen and wash them, the little girl standing on a stool to reach the sink, he feels so content. He knows that to the outside world he still is a nothing, a nobody, and to the town he is a dangerous biker, but here he is just Daryl and he belongs.

The next week flies by. Julie is at school and Beth is kept very busy with lots of calls to check on people’s animals. Her ankle heals well, even though Daryl keeps telling her to go easy on it. Sometimes, after picking Beth’s daughter up, she helps him with the chores, carrying the little branches out of the yard or gathering the chicken eggs while he carries the big branches or a large bag of feed. He likes having her around, the girl is so much like her mama and it just sets him at ease.

Finally, the weekend comes and he wakes up in a sweat early Saturday morning, thanks to a stupid nightmare where Merle was calling for his help but their paw got in the way. Usually, nothing would stop him from heading straight out the door, but Julie had made him promise to wait for her, so he hangs about the house even after the sun is up. It allows him time to restring his bow and make sure all of his bolts are sharp, spreading them out on the floor of the living room.

Beth comes down the stairs dressed in night shorts that are way too short and a tank top that does very little to hide the soft curves of her body. He can’t help but sneak little glances as she goes about making waffles, but makes sure to never get caught staring. The hunter feels like a creep, but goddamn, he can’t help it.

“Just fucking make a move already,” Merle shouts in his head, “stop being such a fucking pussy. Nut up and give it to the woman!”

He ignores his brother’s voice, same way he did when Merle was still alive. However, it is kind of comforting to hear the harsh, familiar sound of his brother talking, now that Merle is gone. Not that he would ever listen to the horrible advice. Beth’s singing interrupts his thoughts and he leans his head back against the couch, just listening.

“Oh girl wash your face before you come to the table,” the blonde begins softly, “Girl know your place be willing and able……”

He closes his eyes, letting the sound wash all over him, wanting it to never end.

“Dream for everyone but not yourself,” Beth continues, “I’ve heard of God the Son and God the Father….I’m just looking for a God for the daughters.”

Little steps come down the stairs and soon Julie appears and the singing ends, but Daryl doesn’t move from his spot until the child finds him.

“Is that what you are going to use to get us a deer,” she asks, surprise in her eyes.

Daryl nods.

“Yeah,” he clears his throat, “much better than a gun, silent and the bolts are reusable unlike bullets.”

“Wow,” the girl breathes, watching as he finishes putting three bolts back in the little notches on his crossbow and placing the rest in a pack that goes on his back.

“Breakfast is ready you two,” calls Beth, which has both of them hurrying to the table.

Julie drowns her waffles in syrup and butter, making a sticky mess, but she eats it all.

“When should I expect you back,” the blonde asks after he has finishes inhaling the food.

“Ummm, late tonight,” he answers, not used to anyone caring how long he is gone hunting, “maybe tomorrow if I end up on the trail of something.”

“Alright, just be safe out there,” Beth cautions, smiling at him with such a warmth that he can’t stand to look at her.

Glancing away, he mumbles something before grabbing his crossbow and a backpack and heading out the door, his skinning knife on his belt and a slight smile on his face. He doesn’t think he has grinned so much in his whole life as he has in the past few weeks.

When he gets out in the woods, it is like he has found the peace he has been craving. Not that being around Beth and Julie isn’t peaceful, but his own mind doesn’t let him rest around them. He is constantly berating himself for doing something stupid or trying to hold back and not let Beth see the real depth of his feelings for her. It is exhausting, not that he really minds because it is worth all the mental pain just to be around the two of them. However, out here with the trees and critters, he can just be himself without having to second guess everything. Despite having never hunted here before, it feels familiar and he quickly moves into hunter mode, stepping quietly and carefully through the brush, his eyes scanning his surroundings.

When he comes across deer tracks and a narrow dirt trail that indicate a lot of traffic, the hunter finds himself a good, hidden position behind a tree and some bushes. He crouches down and waits. The sounds of the forest sweep over him. He can hear several different birds singing, he can just make out the gurgling of water nearby, probably why so many animals come this direction. The archer lets himself just meld into the background, watching as a skunk makes its way by, not even noticing him. Several squirrels scamper up and down the trees, but they were not what he is after.

A little after noon, he finally hears it, the snap of a branch, an indication that something bigger is in the area. Moving his stiff limbs ever so slightly, stifling the groan that wants to come from his lips, he peaks around the tree, watching as a buck slowly makes its way into view. The beast is magnificent. It has a decent 8 point rack and looks big but young enough to still taste good. He waits, breath held as the animals drops its head, nibbling on some grass. Raising his crossbow quietly, Daryl takes aim. The deer’s head pops up at the last minute, as if sensing that it is in danger, but at that same moment, he pulls the trigger, sending his bolt sailing right into the deer’s heart. The animal drops instantly, giving a few kicks before going still.

Not able to believe his luck at getting a nice, big deer so quickly, he walks over and gets a good look at his prey. The animal looks just as magnificent up close. Now is the hard part. Retrieving his backpack from behind the tree, he pulls out a rope and a barbed metal, which he sticks in the ankles of the deer, before hoisting it up. Then, he field dresses the deer before skinning it. Next, he removes the meat from the bone, storing the food in ziplock bags he had brought along. He puts the backstrap and tenderloin in two marked bags, then fills the others with the tougher meat which he will make into ground venison later if he has the tools. By the time he is done he is covered in blood and deer hair and probably looks wild, but he is proud of his kill. After a quick dunk in the river, he stores the meat into his backpack and holds the rest in his arms as he starts back towards the farm.

He is going to be back much sooner than expected, probably about the same time the jerkwad is supposed to pick up his daughter. Just his luck, the one day he wanted to be gone longer to avoid seeing Jimmy, he got a deer early. The archer is tempted to just hang around in the woods longer, but he wants to get the venison on ice and quit carrying it around. Maybe he could slip in and out without being noticed. If Beth is helping Julie get dressed or something, both females might be distracted enough that they wouldn’t notice him coming in the back door and throwing the meat in the big freezer meant for game.

However, Daryl’s plan change as soon as he carefully opens the backdoor to the house and hears little sobs as Beth tries her best to comfort her daughter. He is able to toss his food in the freezer but he isn’t about to leave with how sad Julie sounds. The hunter moves silently through the house, still in hunter mode and unsure of what is going on, before peaking his head into the living room.

“I’m sorry sweetheart,” Beth cooes to Julie, holding the crying girl in her arms, “it isn’t your fault at all, I promise.”

“But why did daddy change his mind,” the child asks, tears rolling down her cheeks, “why isn’t he going to the father-daughter dance with me?”

Those words just break Daryl’s heart. Sure, Jimmy isn’t mean like Daryl’s paw had been, but he sure as hell isn’t any sort of father. Maybe that is why he finds himself stepping out from where he had been hidden out of view and awkwardly clearing his throat, causing both females to jump and turn around.

“I could….um….take you,” Daryl offers, wincing with how shitty the offer is, he sure as hell ain’t some nice fatherly figure, he is dripping with river water and probably still has blood and dirt stains all over his shirt.

“If you want that is…..,” he trails off, feeling a bit stupid for even saying anything, but then Julie’s sad face brightens and she starts bouncing around.

“You would go with me,” she asks, looking like she would be proud to have some dirty, redneck escort her to the dance.

“Should clean up a bit or change clothes,” he vaguely hints, but the girl is already hugging his leg, not even caring how gross the hunter is right now.

He pats Julie’s head carefully, smoothing down her brown locks, marveling at how small and sweet the little girl is and how much she seems to like him. When he looks up, Beth is staring at him intensely with an emotion he can’t quite put his finger on, but it tells him that he did something right.


	11. I Love My Kiss 'Cause You Want It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope all of my readers are doing well. Thank you for the comments and the continued reading, enjoy this next chapter!

It had taken a little while for Julie to get dressed up, plenty of time for Daryl to make himself more presentable. He had showered and tugged on a blue shirt that still had sleeves, as well as a pair of jeans with only one hole in it. Even with the effort, the hunter still didn’t quite have the respectable adult look down, with his long hair and grimy nails and biker vest. Normally he wouldn’t give two shits, but he wants Julie to be happy. This is all he has though, so it will have to do.

When the young girl finally came skipping down the stairs, she is wearing cowboy boots and her hair is in two braids and her flowery dress moves with her. God, he sees so much of Beth in her it is uncanny.

“Ready to go,” he asks, taking her little hand in his big callused one.

“Yes,” the child exclaims, staring up at him with big blue eyes that make him turn to putty in her tiny hands.

“Alright,” he answers, his voice gravelly and they head to his truck.

He opens the door to the passenger side and helps the little girl in, before going around to the driver’s side. As he puts the truck in reverse, Beth comes out on the porch and waves them off, a big smile on her face. For a moment, Daryl feels really good looking between Beth and Julie, seeing both of the girls smiling and knowing he has put those smile on their faces.

When they pulled up at the school, Daryl gets nervous. Sure this had seemed like a good idea at first, but what if it isn’t. People around town are already talking about him and Beth, what if kids start saying mean things to Julie too? What if they made fun of her the way they made fun of him as a kid. He couldn’t stand that idea. Before he can get too lost in his thoughts, Julie speaks.

“Would it bother you,” she asks, those big wide eyes grabbing hold of him again, “if I said you were my dad, just for tonight? I’ve never been able to bring my dad to anything at school……other kids ask about it….”

“Won’t bother me none,” he spits out, new determination burning in him.

He knows how cruel kids can be if anyone is different. Daryl would do anything to keep Julie from experiencing that too. The older man helps the kid out of his truck and they make their way to the gym, which has been set up with way too many balloons and streamers in his opinion, but the sight makes Julie’s eyes sparkle. There are already a lot of people in there, lots of dad’s in business suits or shirts tucked in with a tie at least. He looks pretty unkempt in comparison. Julie doesn’t seem to notice though, pulling him straight in, looking proud as can be. She drags him right up to a group of kids, some of which he recognizes from when he picks her up.

“This is my daddy,” she announces, like she is showing off some sort of trophy and not his crappy self.

“You are Julie’s dad,” one of the kids asks, looking up at him with wide eyes.

He nods in confirmation.

“You look alike,” comments another child and Daryl realizes they are right.

Both of them have brown hair and blue eyes, while Julie’s are both a bit lighter than his, which could be explained by Beth’s being lighter as well. Oh no, oh hell no, he is not about to think of what a kid would look like if he and Beth…..this is just for Julie, he can’t let himself get wrapped up in it. However, he finds himself enjoying the party almost as much as the little girl he is with. Not the silly music or the too sweet food or the dads that shoot him suspicious glances, but the idea of having a kid, of having a family, and doing things like this. He never pictured himself having a kid, but if he did, he would want them to be like Julie. Mostly he never thought about having a family, because he didn’t want to end up like his paw, but Julie looks so happy to have him there. Nothing like how he and Merle ran in terror if they caught sight of their dad. It makes his chest swell with pride a little and he has to keep reminding himself that it is just for tonight.

He dances with Julie, or rather he kinda stands there as she dances all around him, but the girl seems to be enjoying it. Daryl sits in a way too small chair as Julie runs and brings him a cupcake, that isn’t quite as good now that he is spoiled on Beth’s cooking, but he eats it anyway, licking the icing off his fingers. Finally, one of the teacher’s announces that it is the end of the dance and the pair head out into the fresh air. Most people have left by now and he is parked pretty far away, so it is just the two of them. Picking Julie up he does an awkward spin that is meant to be a twirl but probably looks goofy as fuck. The little girl laughs and clings to him, her smile somehow getting even bigger. God, if Merle could see him now, he would tease Daryl relentlessly, but he isn’t and the archer can’t find it in himself to care.

Once they get back to the house, Julie goes on and on about the dance to her mother while Daryl sits and grunts occasionally or nods his head. Finally, Beth leads her daughter up to bed. Daryl steps out to smoke a cigarette, an old habit he has never really broken. When he hears the screen door shut behind him, he looks back to see the blonde staring at him again with that look he can’t quite understand.

“You made Julie really happy tonight,” Beth tells him, coming over to stand beside him and lean on the railing.

He shrugs.

“Really,” Beth insists, “I know it has been hard on her not having her father in her life. I had hoped letting Jimmy visit would help with that, but it only made things worse. If it hadn’t been for you, she would have felt left out yet again.”

“Ain’t nothing,” he insists, putting out his cigarette before adding, “didn’t mind doing it, know I ain’t as nice or as well dressed as those other dads….”

“Stop,” Beth interrupts, turning to him, straightening up until she is looking him right in the eye, “Daryl Dixon, how many times do I have to tell you that you are a good man?”

“I don’t care what kind of clothes you wear or that you say everything bluntly,” the blonde rants passionately, “you have a good heart, even if you don’t let a lot of people see that. Any kid would be lucky to have you as a dad.”

Having said this, Beth takes a half-step closer to him, putting her right in front of his face, before going up on her tiptoes, and pressing her lips to his. Daryl’s eyes widen in shock and he almost falls backwards in surprise. Fuck, her lips taste just as good, no better, than he had ever imagined. When the blonde pulls back, she looks almost as shocked as he does, covering her mouth with her hand and her eyes going wide.

“I’m sorry,” she immediately apologizes, gesturing with her other hand towards him and then herself, “I didn’t mean, I mean I wanted to, but I should have known you didn’t….I….”

He doesn’t let her get any further than that, his brain catching up with what is going on. He reaches out and grabs her arm, probably too roughly, jerking her back towards him, because he can’t have just a taste of Beth Greene. Unlike Beth’s soft, chaste kiss, this time it is much more passionate. It almost hurts when their lips collide together and his hand is instantly in her hair, trying to pull her even closer, breathing her in like she is oxygen. God, he has wanted to do this for so long. He can feel her pressed up against him, her lips moving against his own, and all he can think is that he must have died and gone to heaven. He slants his face, wanting to get even closer.

When they finally break apart, Beth makes a little desperate gasp for air that makes him want to hear that sound again and again, along with a bunch of other sounds. She is looking up at him with flushed cheeks and her irises are blown up, most fucking beautiful thing he has ever seen. It is weird because he has never been one for kissing or even being close to anyone, but when it is Beth for some reason he doesn’t have the urge to go running into the woods.

They sit out late that night, looking up at the stars. They don’t talk about what happened, but it is easily the best night of Daryl’s life. The next morning when he wakes up, the hunter is certain he must have dreamed the whole thing, but then he walks down the stairs and Beth is there, blushing ever so slightly when she sees him, he knows it was real and can’t help the little grin that threatens to tug at his lips.

Today is the day he is supposed to leave. Beth is all healed up, there really isn’t any excuse for him to stay. He doesn’t say anything though and Beth doesn’t either so it is just left at that. Things continue on, he helps with chores and picking up Julie, everything falls into a sort of routine that feels natural and right. The following weekend he decides to cook some of the venison, but they are out of flour. Both Beth and Julie sleep in that morning, after a late night working on Julie’s paper mache project and he doesn’t want to wake them up. He had stayed up watching them, enjoying their laughter as the two females made a mess outside trying to coat a balloon in the sticky pieces of paper. In the end, after he had made some smart ass comment to them about how the paper was supposed to go on the balloon, they had tackled him, smearing the goo all over his shirt and arms. He had acted annoyed, but neither of them bought it.

The archer drives into town alone, enjoying the view of the sun rising over the corn fields on his way into town. He pulls up to the small, local grocery store and makes his way in. Luckily, there isn’t a lot of people out shopping because it is still pretty early on a Saturday morning. It has been a damn long time since he has been inside a grocery store. The neat little business with rows and rows of food feels almost foreign to him. Beth does the shopping and before that he and Merle essentially lived off bar food, what he bagged while hunting, and whatever they could get at a convenience store. Finally, he locates the flour in the cooking aisle, staring up at the multiple brands, wondering what in the hell is the difference, before just grabbing the cheapest bag. He pays with a couple crumpled one dollar bills and gets a wary look from the cashier but they don’t say anything. Taking his purchase, he heads out to the parking lot and almost makes it to his truck when he runs straight into the last person he wants to see.

It is Jimmy. The idiot is clearly wasted, only awake this early because he had never gone to bed. He is with several other guys, who also look just as messed up. Daryl stops but has nowhere else to go, with a car on one side and the wall of the grocery store on the other. Besides, his truck is just up ahead, just pass this ragtag group. Jimmy doesn’t notice him until he runs straight into the archer’s chest, looking up confused before his eyes focusing and darkening.

“This is the dick I was telling y’all about,” Jimmy barks out, causing the trio behind him to stumble to a stop and look at him, “the asshole that is beating Beth and mooching off of her at the same time!”

That comment gets Daryl all fired up, especially the idea that he would ever lay a hand on Beth. However, he isn’t as hot-headed as he used to be so instead he just growls at Jimmy to get out of his fucking way. The dumbass can’t take the hint though.

“I don’t want a Dixon hanging around my girlfriend or my daughter,” Jimmy suddenly declares.

“Beth ain’t your girlfriend and you sure as hell ain’t no father to Julie,” Daryl asserts, his eyes seeing red remembering how sad Julie had looked that Jimmy hadn’t shown up for the dance.

“Oh so do you think you can be Julie’s father,” taunts Jimmy, his friends snickering behind him, “think trailer trash like yourself can just waltz into town and shack up with the prettiest woman around and no one is going to say a word? Think Julie won’t get laughed out of school for having some biker play the part of her father?”

“They are mine,” Jimmy asserts, getting right up in Daryl’s face and saying the exact wrong thing, “and you can’t have them.”

Daryl drops the flour on the ground and slams his fist into Jimmy’s stomach, causing the younger man to double over in pain before retching on his own shoes. The other three rush to their friends aid, but they are equally drunk and it takes almost no time to punch one out cold, slam another’s head into the wall, and kick the back of the last guy’s knees, causing all of them to end up on the ground. Then, Daryl goes back to Jimmy, leans over him and hisses in his ears.

“Beth and Julie don’t belong to anyone you fucking dick,” he growls.

Picking up his flour, he spits at Jimmy, who makes some sort of pathetic noise as Daryl walks past and gets into his truck, slamming the door. His good mood this morning is all gone. He grips the steering wheel tightly as he drives back to the farmhouse, his knuckles throbbing slightly but not enough to bother him. Jimmy’s words ring in his ears, added on by all the things his paw and other people ever told him. They all tell him that he doesn’t deserve to stay on the farm, to have Beth kiss him and Julie smile at him. He is just going to fuck things up for them like he always does.

The archer pulls up the driveway and parks the truck, feeling shitty and beating himself up. Grabbing the stupid flour, he gets out and makes his way in the house. He tosses the bag on the kitchen counter and turns to find Beth standing there in those short shorts again and a tight tank, stretching her arms above her head. He tries to keep his eyes from raking up and down her body but he has already done it before he can stop himself.

“Good morning,” Beth says happily to him, “did you go to the…”

The blonde pauses, her happy smile turning to a frown.

“What happened to your hand,” she gasps, coming over and taking his hand in hers, looking down at the bloody knuckles and slight bruising.

It honestly isn’t that bad but the young woman looks so concerned.

“Ain’t nothin much,” he tries to reassure her, “can barely feel it.”

“Come with me,” Beth insists, like she hadn’t even heard him, leading him upstairs to the bathroom and getting a washcloth.

Daryl watches as her small, delicate, but very capable hands wash away the blood on his much bigger, tanner, more callused hand. Then, she dries it before applying antibacterial ointment and wrapping his knuckles with cotton and athletic wrap.

“That should do the trick,” she tells him, “now are you going to tell me what happened or make me drag it out of you.”

He scoffs at the confidence in her voice, but also knows it is true. To most people he might practically be a mute, but for Beth, he would tell her anything, especially if she put her mind to finding out.

“Ran into Jimmy at the store,” he mutters, casting his eyes down, not wanting to see the disappointment in Beth’s face when she finds out that he beat up her ex-boyfriend, “didn’t like some of the things he was saying about you….and Julie…….”

“Serves him right then,” the young woman says matter-of-a-factly, which has him raising his head and cocking an eyebrow.

He had never figured Beth as one for violence, but she doesn’t seem to be mad at him. She reaches over and runs her fingers through his hair, before planting a small kiss on his lips. They haven’t kissed again since the first time. Not that he doesn’t want to, but he didn’t know what was and wasn’t allowed. Just because the blonde had kissed him one time, didn’t mean she hadn’t changed her mind, come to her senses. He didn’t ever want to do something Beth didn’t want. However, the look in her eyes when Beth pulls away tells him that maybe someday, if he could get the balls to do it, just maybe she would let him kiss her first.

The rest of the morning runs much more smoothly. He fries up the venison, coating it in flour and lemon pepper before throwing it in the oil. Beth makes mashed potatoes with gravy and Julie makes Jello. The blonde plants a kiss on his cheek when Julie isn’t looking, which leaves him burning red like he is on fire, despite it being a very chaste kiss. If Merle could see him he would laugh about how whipped he is, how anytime Beth or Julie suggest anything, he jumps right to it. However, a part of him also thinks Merle would understand. Neither brother had been shown much love in their lives, when the opportunity comes along, you don’t just pass it up.

Both females praise his cooking skills this time, which is much better than when he tried to make that stupid grilled cheese. Julie is like a bottomless pit, he doesn’t know how the little girl fits so much in her stomach. When he teases her about it, she replies that she is just like him and that gets him smiling and a warm fuzzy feeling in his stomach. After lunch, they all sit and watch some kid movie as the food settles. To be honest, he doesn’t really pay attention to the movie, but rather to Beth tucked into his side on the couch as Julie sits at their feet, eyes glued to the TV. He didn’t know being part of a family could be so nice, so relaxing. Later that evening, they all do chores together and eat leftovers before sitting outside on the porch. Julie chases fireflies and Beth laughs with Daryl as they watch the little girl.

That night, he lays awake in bed, staring at the wall, biting on this thumbnail. His mind whirls and whirls around. He wants to stay, he feels like Beth wouldn’t mind, but at some point he should ask. He doesn’t know how though. What if he is wrong? What if she doesn’t want him around indefinitely? God, he hates the idea of traveling on his own again but if she doesn’t want him here he wouldn’t cause a scene. His thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the door, it is so slight he almost isn’t sure if it was just his imagination. He is only wearing some old sweatpants and his wife-beater.

“Yeah,” he mutters, half-expecting no reply.

Instead, the door to Shawn’s room opens ever so slightly and a blonde head pops in. Instantly, Daryl sits up concerned.

“What’s wrong,” he asks, taking in her bloodshot eyes and wet cheeks.

Beth slips inside, shutting the door behind her, before wrapping her arms around her elbows, no bracelets on for once. She looks so young and innocent, standing there barefoot in her nightclothes. It gives him lots of material that he is sure his imagination will use later. Right now though all he cares about is how sad and scared the young woman looks.

“Had a bad dream,” she whispers just loud enough for him to hear, “my momma and daddy…..”

A small sob escapes her that just breaks his heart.

“And Shawn…..,” she squeezes her eyes shut and a tear streams down her cheek, “all of them, just…..”

He can’t sit still any longer. Getting up, he pads over to Beth and uncertainly wraps his arms stiffly around her. The archer hasn’t had much experience with hugging people, luckily, the blonde has and she instantly melds into his chest, burying her face into his neck. He runs one hand up and down the young woman’s back and that seems to calm her. As the minutes go by, her chest quits heaving so violently and her breathing becomes more relaxed.

“Daryl,” Beth suddenly speaks, pulling her head out of his shoulder and looking up at him with the bluest eyes he has ever seen, “I’m so tired of being alone, of doing everything myself. I have Julie and she is such a great girl, but it is just so hard…..and having you here, well it has meant the world to me, made this whole house feel more alive and full again than it has in years.”

“Please,” she begs him, her hands clenching his shirt, “please don’t go, I want you to stay, Julie wants you to stay.”

“I ain’t going nowhere,” he reassures her.

In one swift movement, he picks her up and carries her to the bed, since there is nowhere else to sit. He puts her down and intends to just sit by her but somehow they end up laying down, limbs all wrapped up in each other. Beth’s nose is nuzzled against his chest, her hair in his face, her feet touching his. Daryl’s left arm is wrapped around the young woman’s waist and her hands are clutching his other hand like if she lets go he will disappear. That is silly though, because he all but tethered to her even when she isn’t touching him.

Beth falls asleep, her breathing steady and all the worry disappears from her face. His thumb rubs against her skin, the movement calming him. She feels so soft and delicate, if he didn’t know better he wouldn’t believe she was capable of handling horses and lifting buckets of feed. Without even thinking about it, his finger moves from her knuckles to her palm and down to her wrist. However, he notices that there is a slight bump to the smooth skin of her hand and wrist. Gently lifting her arm a few inches up, away from their bodies, he squints at the young woman’s wrist in the moonlight. It is hard to make out, but it is there, a scar stretching along Beth’s wrist, deep enough to be serious but obviously not deep enough to kill her. That has his breath freezing in his lungs.

That isn’t the Beth he knows, the one so full of light and love and hope, which she used to save him. However, he has been gone for a long time. The girl lost both her parents and her brother and was left by her boyfriend and sister to raise a child on her own. So he gets it, maybe he even understands the scar better than all her smiles and love and happiness. He knows what it is like to feel like there is no reason to go on living, until there is one. For him it had been Beth. Suddenly, all the bracelets make sense. Tucking her arm back against her chest, Daryl continues rubbing the scar, as if he can rub it away. He knows he can’t, if he could he would have done that to his scars a long time ago. He hides them just like her, he probably shouldn’t have seen her scar, shouldn’t be touching it. It is messed up, but somehow the white line on Beth’s wrist makes him feel a little less messed up, a little less like a monster for having the same white lines littering his back.

He doesn’t think of Beth differently knowing that she had tried to kill herself, doesn’t judge her. Maybe, if she saw his scars, she would do the same for him. The idea excites and terrifies him. No one other than Merle and his dad know about his scars, about his childhood. If he is going to share with anyone it would be Beth, because he trusts her. However, because of how much he cares about her, it would hurt that much more if she looked at him with pity or horror, if she didn’t want him anymore, just like his old man had said, no woman would want him if they knew.

A small voice that he has never had before whispers that maybe Beth would still want him, still care about him, even if she knew. He isn’t going to do anything about it right now anyway, so he just buries his face in Beth’s hair, breathes her in, and before he knows it he is asleep too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So finally Beth and Daryl are getting somewhere! Loved writing this chapter, finally having the two of them get together.


	12. Showed You the Truth, You Kissed My Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really liked this chapter, I also struggled with it since I'm not yet used to writing intimate scenes, but I think it turned out good! Enjoy!

Daryl is outside moving bales of hay while Julie sits nearby coloring in the shade. Beth had to run into town for a house call and so he had brought the little girl with him while he worked. Since the night Beth had come to his room two weeks ago, they had slept together almost every night. Daryl hadn’t admitted it, but he slept better with Beth around, had less nightmares about Merle or his paw, actually slept in past sunrise a couple of times. The blonde seemed to relax more too if they shared a bed, they had just been careful not to let Julie catch them. Not that they were doing anything indecent. It was just a few kisses and some cuddling, which was way more than anything else he had done before because honestly other than Beth, he had never really been interested in most of the shit the majority of guys can’t stop thinking about. Now he understands.

“Do you like my mommy,” Julie asks, out of the blue, staring at him with an eerie resemblance to the way Beth pins him in place.

“Course,” he answers without hesitation, “your mom is a good woman, lots of people like her.”

“No,” Julie continues, “but like do you like her how a mommy and daddy like each other?”

That has Daryl pausing after throwing the next hay bale up on the growing stack.

“Why you askin,” he throws out, answering her question with one of his own.

“I dunno,” Julie replies, shrugging her shoulders, “I just like having you around, my mommy does too. You fit in, like family.”

“Do you have a family already,” Julie asks suddenly, as if the thought just occurred to her.

“Had a brother, Merle,” he tells her, “he isn’t around anymore.”

“Then you can be a part of our family,” Julie confirms, grinning.

“You got yourself a deal,” he jokes, offering his hand for her to shake, which she does.

When he finishes with the hay, they head inside and he starts helping Julie get a snack of crackers with peanut butter and jelly. He mostly just gets the high items off the pantry and keeps an eye on the girl as she makes a mess putting the snack together herself. The house phone rings and Daryl doesn’t usually answer it, but Beth had told him that Patricia should be calling about when to watch Julie tomorrow and had asked him to answer. He picks it up and forces himself to make small talk before Patricia tells him that she will be there at eight in the morning on Saturday to take Julie with her into Atlanta, to go to the zoo, before dropping her back off Sunday morning.

Afterwards, he makes Julie brush her teeth and puts her to bed, patting the little brown curls as the little girl smiles up at him. He never thought of himself as any sort of acceptable father figure, but maybe he isn’t doing too shitty of a job. The archer crawls into his own bed and is almost asleep when Beth crawls in next to him, kissing his neck and wrapping her arms around him.

“About time,” he murmurs, turning to his side and pulling her closer.

He still can’t believe he is allowed to do this, that the young woman wants to get in bed with him and be held and kissed by him.

“Hurried back home as fast as I could,” Beth giggles, which immediately stops when he kisses her mouth.

Every other time, things have been fairly chaste, but this time when he starts kissing Beth, it is like neither of them can stop. Her hands are on his back, clutching his shoulders as the hunter chases her lips with his own, eating up every moan before it can reach the air. Suddenly, the young woman’s hips buck up against his own, giving him friction against his already very much hard cock. At that he gasps and can’t help thrusting back. It has never been like this for him before, so needy he can’t even think straight, but before he knows it, his hand is under that skin-tight tank top and running up and down Beth’s stomach. Fuck, she is so soft and supple, her muscles stretching and pushing into his hand.

Then, he finds out what he kind of assumed all along. Beth Greene isn’t wearing any bra under that tank and he knows for sure when he rubs too high and his pinky grazes her breast, which is even softer than her skin. He is about to yank his hand away and start apologizing profusely, but right then the blonde lets out a moan and her eyes seem to get even bigger and he realizes that she wants him to touch her. The archer is more than happy to oblige. Running his hand up higher, he finds her breast, kneading the soft flesh and brushing the firm nipple. Suddenly, he is struck by the urge to want to have his mouth where his hand is. In a swift motion, he has them sitting up and that stupid, aggravating tank top off, but in the middle he has to pause for a second, because she is so damn beautiful and he just wants to look.

The blonde’s chest is heaving, causing her small, but perky tits to move with it. The nipples are pale pink and hard from his ministrations. Her stomach is smooth and lean and so pale compared to his hand, which looks so big and dark from where it rests on her hip. Beth apparently becomes a bit self-conscious with his staring, because she moves to cover her breasts with her hands, but he grabs her wrist. Not aggressively, just enough of a tug to get her to stop.

“Fucking beautiful,” he breathes and her cheeks tinge pink, before she lets her hands fall to her sides.

Then, he is leaning down, pushing her to lay down on the bed. He runs his tongue across one nipple, lapping a few times before sucking it into his mouth.

“Ah, Daryl,” Beth breathes and he wants to hear her say his name over and over again.

Moving on to the other breast, he treats it the same, sucking it like it is the best piece of candy he has ever had. It is true though, he has never had anything as sweet as Beth Greene. Her hands are in his hair now and her legs wrap around his waist. He feels about ready to shoot his load right now, before they have even really gotten going. He is more than content to keep pleasuring Beth, in fact he would love to pleasure her with his mouth in another place, but then her hands slip below his shirt, running across one of his lower scars. That instantly has him tensing and stopping everything.

All thoughts of how fucking amazing this is, how lucky he is, they all fly out of his head as he realizes that he fucked up. It doesn’t matter that this is Beth and she is amazing and wonderful and so many other things, because what is wrong isn’t her but him. She deserves better than him. Better than someone who doesn’t know how to be part of a family, part of a meaningful relationship. He doesn’t know how to love and smile and bring her happiness like she does to him. He doesn’t know how to explain just how permanently messed up he is so he just jumps off her and backs off, even as she starts apologizing.

It breaks his heart, to see Beth looking so worried, apologizing like she is the one who did something wrong and not his paw. Because Beth would never hurt him, but just like his paw said, no woman could ever love him, not if they see what he looks like, not if they really know everything about him. He tries to speak but nothing comes out, he wants to reassure Beth that it isn’t her fault, nothing she did was wrong, but he can’t. Instead, he is silenced by his back hitting the wall and all he can do is stare in fear and horror of what should have been a wonderful night but he had gone and fucked it up.

“I’m sorry,” Beth gets out one more time, before picking up her shirt and pulling it over her head, before fleeing out the door.

“Fucking goddamn shit,” Daryl cusses, running a hand through his hair.

He wants to yell and scream and kick something, but that won’t fix anything. It won’t fix him, it won’t ever change the past and make him someone worth Beth’s love. He wants to run after Beth, tell her everything, explain why he froze, but he is so scared of the possibility that she won’t want him afterward that he just can’t. He knows she has her own scar, but that is one single line, made in a completely different way than the multitude littering his body. Instead, he crawls back into his bed, which seems cold and empty now without Beth in it. He manages to drift in and out of sleep, but it is full of nightmares of Merle, his maw, and his paw. As the sun is rising, he gives up and goes downstairs to find Beth and Julie in the kitchen. He feels a bit awkward and is about to slip back up the stairs, but Beth turns and catches him.

“Ah,” she breathes, flushing a bit, before looking abashed, “Daryl, are you going to join us for breakfast?”

“Join us,” cheers Julie, running up to him and pulling on his hand.

He manages to nod his head and the young girl leads him to the table, where Beth sets a plate of eggs and bacon in front of him. He grunts out his thanks without making eye contact, feeling the tension in the room but not knowing how to fix it. Julie luckily is oblivious and happily chatters away during the meal so Beth and Daryl don’t have to talk too much. When Patricia show up, Julie excitedly goes with her aunt, ready for her first trip to the zoo. As soon as the two drive off, he feels trapped, like the kid’s presence had somehow protected him.

“About last night,” Beth begins, but he interrupts her.

“I’m gonna go hunting,” he blurts out, running out the door and grabbing his crossbow from his truck.

Before he can start walking towards the woods though, Beth appears.

“Can you show me how to shoot your crossbow,” the blonde asks innocently, staring at him with those big doe eyes.

“Uh…,” he mutters nervously, scratching the back of his neck and looking off towards the woods, anywhere but at Beth.

At any other time, he would jump at the idea of spending more time with the blonde, but right now all he can think about is the scars on his back and how they mark him as unworthy of her.

“We don’t have to talk, I promise,” the young woman assures him, holding up her hands to show she means no harm, “just hunting, if that is what you want.”

“Fine,” he agrees, happy that she is coming, but still feeling like he is walking straight into a trap.

Beth changes into boots and jeans and soon they are both tramping through the woods. He motions for her to be quiet at one point and she goes still as he inches forward, crossbow at the ready, and hits a squirrel. He really isn’t going for big game today, doesn’t want to haul all that meat back.

“That is amazing Daryl,” Beth breathes, coming up behind him, “you are a natural.”

“Just been hunting a long time,” he tells her as he ties the squirrel to a rope he throws over his shoulder.

“How do you know what to look for, everything looks the same to me and I grew up here,” she asks him, which is an innocent enough question so he answers her.

“The signs are all there, just got to know how to read them,” he explains, but she doesn’t seem to get it.

The hunter begins pointing out the tracks in the ground, the broken branches, and identifying bird calls. They aren’t going to catch anything with him talking away, but Beth is soaking it all up so he keeps going.

“How do you know all this,” she asks, before adding, “did your dad teach you?”

“No,” he curtly replies, but when he sees Beth’s downcast face, he feels like a dick.

“Dad was a drunk, didn’t do shit for me or my brother,” he tells Beth, being careful to keep his eyes forward as they walk, “Merle got me a crossbow when I was a kid, learned how to hunt out of trial and error. It was necessary, only way I ate sometimes, except for when you brought me lunch.”

There it is, out in the open. Not everything, but it is something, more than he would have given most people.

“Well I’m sure you worked hard at it,” Beth says, always the optimist, “but I think you are also a natural.”

“Ain’t as hard as it looks, here,” he offers, holding out his crossbow, his most prized possession in the world, he might as well be offering his own heart.

Beth looks at him like he has just hung the moon and stars, before reaching out and taking the weapon, her arms dropping at first with the weight before hefting it up.

“You make this thing look light,” she gasps, looking at his arms in appreciation.

“Gotta build up your muscles girl,” he taunts, without any real bite to it.

She sticks her tongue out before resting her head down to the crossbow sight. He naturally walks up behind her, putting his head right behind hers.

“That’s it,” he murmurs, “just line up the sight like you would a gun. The further you are shooting, the higher you want to aim above the target. Just aim for the trunk of that tree to see what it feels like. Pull the trigger nice and easy.”

Beth takes a deep breath and he breathes in time with her. When the blonde breathes out, she pulls the trigger and the bolt shoots out of the crossbow and past the tree. The young woman huffs and lowers the heavy weapon, which he takes from her as she retrieves the ammo. When she returns, he shows her how to reload it, even though she can’t quite pull the string back by herself. This time, when Beth goes to shoot, he kicks her legs out gently, so they are further apart, giving her a stronger stance.

“Shoot once you have exhaled completely,” he coaches, “keep your left hand from moving.”

This time Beth just barely gets the arrow into the tree.

“There ya go,” he praises and the blonde looks pleased.

Daryl can feel himself relaxing, watching as Beth practices again and again. When she starts at least hitting the trunk consistently, he takes his knife and carves a circle, instructing her to try and hit inside of it. It doesn’t take long for Beth’s arms to get tired but she does hit the circle a couple of times.

“Good job,” he praises her.

Something about seeing Beth practicing with his crossbow has him turned on. Watching her hold his most valuable possession, focusing with a ferocity he doesn’t normally see, and melding into the woods like he does, it makes him feel like they aren’t so different. Maybe it was the comfort of being in the woods, maybe it was the familiar activity, or maybe it was just Beth, but for a few minutes the voice of his father drops away and as they are walking back he begins to talk.

“My paw wasn’t a nice man like your dad was,” he says out of the blue, not really slowly building up to the topic, just jumping right in, “he was an alcoholic, abusive motherfucker. Beat my maw all the time. I was young but I remember their shouting and her crying as he hit her. She wasn’t a great mom, but she didn’t beat us and sometimes made us food so she was alright.”

Beth was quiet, not saying anything, so he continues because if he stops he might never get the courage to continue.

“He beat Merle a lot too, Merle used to stand up for me when he could but nobody was really safe,” he explains, shivering at the memory of constantly living in fear, “maw died when I was little, whole house went up in flames when she passed out drunk with a cigarette in her hand. Merle left for the military not long after. I was left alone with him.”

“I never knew about any of this,” Beth says with a small frown.

“You were little,” Daryl replies, “too young to understand and I didn’t want to tell you what a shitty nobody I really was.”

“You aren’t a nobody Daryl,” Beth argues, “you may not have grown up in a good household, but you are somebody and Julie and I care about you.”

“You don’t get it,” he growls, getting frustrated more at his own inability to explain than at Beth.

“Then tell me,” she shoots back.

“I grew up without anybody, anything,” he growls, the old anger building in him, “I got beat all the time by my dad, got beat and taunted by the kids at school, by pretty much everyone but you! I’ve got the scars to prove it! I’m fucking messed up Beth, I don’t deserve you or Julie and everyone seems to see it except for the two of you!”

“You aren’t messed up Daryl,” the blonde says, grabbing his arm, “what your dad and the kids at school did to you, that was messed up. They are the ones to blame. You are a good, hard-working, kind man and that is why Julie and I like having you around. No scars or other people’s opinions is going to change that.”

“It’s not right,” he hisses, indicating between the two of them.

“Why not,” she demands, crossing her arms.

“Because,” he growls, chest heaving, “you are nice and sweet and innocent and I’m fucking old and scarred and dirty and it is just…..wrong.”

That pisses Beth off, he can practically see the fire coming out of her eyes. Beth unwraps her arms and starts pulling the bracelets off her wrist, flinging them onto the ground.

“You see this,” she shouts at him, once all the bracelets are off, and it is all he can see, that white line, “I’m scarred too and not because somebody hurt me but because I was weak, because I didn’t know how to go on living without my brother and my mother! So if your scars and your past makes you not good enough then I’m not good enough either.”

“That’s not true,” he whispers, because if there is one thing he knows, it is that Beth Greene is more than good enough.

“Why not,” she demands, glaring, “why can you put yourself down but those same reasons don’t apply to me?”

He can’t find the words, he just stands with his mouth open, knowing she has won because that girl is smart as hell.

“You don’t have to do anything with me,” Beth continues, “I don’t have to touch you, we don’t have to sleep together, we don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to. But you are good enough and I’m not going to let anyone say otherwise, not even you!”

She turns to go, still all fired up, but he grabs her elbow, stopping her, swinging the young woman back into his arms, meeting her with a kiss when she stumbles into him. It is a bit painful, how hard they collide, but it doesn’t lessen his want for her at all and based on the way Beth is leaning into him, wrapping her arms around his neck, she feels the same way. Before he knows it, he has her backed up against a tree and she is moaning his name in a way that makes him proud as he ducks down to suck along the soft spot in her neck. He picks her up and she wraps those long legs around his waist, her center warm against him. He thrusts his hard on against her and fuck it feels so amazing, even through their clothes, which are quickly coming off. He puts her down long enough to get her shirt and bra off and this time he lets her pull off his vest and his shirt. When her fingers graze his scars, he still freezes, but this time he doesn’t run away.

“This okay,” she asks, running one finger lightly over one of the long belt scars and all he can do is nod.

He has never been touched there in this way, with love or gentleness or compassion. The way Beth touches him, it is like he isn’t disgusting or wrong or messed up, but like he is just Daryl. He leans in kissing her again, not able to conceal his passion for once. They both end up on the ground, hastily pulling their jeans off and panting like animals. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Daryl thinks that maybe he should be doing this somewhere nicer, like a bed or a couch, but seeing Beth all bare skin and pink cheeks, almost completely naked in the middle of the forest makes him feel like more animal than man. He practically pounces on her, rubbing himself against Beth’s hips, which buck up to meet his own.

“Daryl,” Beth breathes, “I want you so bad.”

That is all he needs to snap his last remnant of self-restraint. Hooking a finger into her panties, he pulls the fabric down, getting hot at the very sight of Beth’s pussy. She looks wet and swollen and it must be because of him but that almost doesn’t compute in his brain. He touches her, confirming just how wet she is, before sliding one finger in.

“Ah,” the blonde gasps, her back arching in the grass.

“Ya like that,” he asks, but he already knows the answer, smirking as he withdraws his finger before plunging it back in several times.

The blonde’s head nods as she pants, her eyes dark with need.

“Fuck,” he cusses, pulling off his underwear.

If she is going to be so wet and horny, there is no way he is going to last nearly long enough.

“Ya sure,” he asks, still somehow expecting her to change her mind.

Beth nods vigorously though and so he slides over and into her, both of them exhaling with the feeling as he plunges in deep. There is so much more he wants to do, like kiss every freckle on her body, run his fingers up and down every pulse point, suck on her breasts and maybe even her pussy. But now is not the time, they both aren’t looking to go slow, they just need each other.

“Fuck Beth,” he moans, his hand going to her hip.

“Yeah, that is what you are doing,” she smirks and he shuts her up by pounding into her again.

He isn’t sure that what he is doing would be called skillful or well-practiced, but God if feels perfect. She is so wet and tight and silky. Daryl never thought it could be this good. He makes sure to pull all the way out before pounding back in, drawing little breathes from Beth that sound like music to his ears. Beth’s legs squeeze, pulling him in closer and flexing her muscles in a way that grips his cock even tighter. Then, she moans louder than ever, her walls contracting around him, milking him for all he is worth. It is the extra push that he didn’t even really need. He pulls out just in time, coming on her leg and in the dirt. They are both left panting and staring at each other. There are leaves tangled in Beth’s golden hair and as she sits up, he can tell there is dirt on her back.

“Bout time,” Beth finally giggles and he looks down blushing red.

“Sorry,” he apologizes, getting his rag and wiping off her leg and brushing the dirt off her back.

“No,” she reassures him, “it was perfect.”

He snorts at that.

“Should’ve waited, at least got you back to the house, somewhere other than the forest floor,” he grumbles, mad at himself when he sees the scratches on her back.

“Well,” she offers, looking at him with a cocky grin, “if you are that worried about it, I guess we could do it again the right way…..”

He snorts at the suggestion, but feels his lips pull up, because he definitely wants to do this again, as many times as she will let him. As Daryl turns to pick up his clothes, he freezes. Sure, Beth knew about the scars, had even felt them, but she had never seen them. However, he relaxes again when Beth comes up and hugs him from behind, warming the cold, numb parts of his back. His father was wrong, there was someone who cared about him, despite the scars and his childhood and all his messed up shit and hers was the only opinion he cared about.

After they finish putting their clothes back on, Beth takes Daryl’s hand and gives him a small smile before they start walking back to the house. He feels like he must be dreaming, everything is too perfect. He is in the middle of nowhere with the only person that doesn’t make him feel like a piece of shit, the same person who knows everything about him and still accepts him. Daryl doesn’t know if he has ever felt this comfortable or content. As they get closer to the house, Beth takes the lead, dragging him along, her ponytail swaying as she hums some song. He must have some dopey-ass look on his face, but right now he can’t find it in himself to care.

Once they reach the back door, he stops, causing the blonde to turn and look at him. Reaching out, he pulls a leaf out of her hair, letting it drop to the ground, before reaching for another. Something about the blue eyes looking at him has him leaning in, getting ready to press his lips to Beth’s when a throat clears behind him, causing him to jump and whip the crossbow off his back, pointing it at the intruder. When he sees who it is, all the color drains out of his face.

“Shit,” he cusses before he can stop himself.


	13. I Love My Life 'Cause You Are In It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Took me a little while to get this next chapter out, I have been busy. The wait is over though :)

“Daryl Dixon,” comes Maggie’s incredulous voice as the brunette cocks one eyebrow at him, crossing her arms over her chest, “is that you? My God it must be, what other person would be pointing a crossbow at somebody in this day and age! You are like a stray dog that won’t leave once it is fed! What the hell are you doing at my sister’s house?”

“Actually no,” the older sister backtracks immediately, raising a hand as he lowers his crossbow with a groan that has nothing to do with the weight of the weapon, “Don’t answer that, the state the two of you are in is answer enough. I don’t want to know anymore.”

Daryl flushes from head to toe and is sure Beth is doing the same. They hadn’t really expected company and therefore, hadn’t cleaned themselves up nearly enough. Added to that, Maggie had caught them only inches from kissing. Beth recovers first.

“Maggie….um, not that I’m not happy to see you, but um,” Beth fumbles to get out, “what are you doing here?”

“I came to talk to you,” the brunette replies snappishly, “but I don’t want to talk to you with him around, so how about you wrap it up so he can leave.”

“Well, about that,” Beth blushes, “Daryl is staying here, so….”

“What,” screeches Maggie, turning her green eyes on Daryl with a fury that has him grimacing.

“He is staying here,” Maggie repeats slowly, looking murderous.

“Yes,” Beth answers sternly, finally recovering from her embarrassment and shock enough to retaliate, “Daryl is staying here and if you aren’t going to be nice to him, then don’t bother dropping by.”

Having said this, Beth takes Daryl hand and hauls him past a very pissed off Maggie, into the house. Quickly, the blonde runs her fingers through her hair and adjusts her clothes slightly, trying to look more presentable. Of course, after a few seconds, Maggie follows, her eyes glaring hate at Daryl all the way to the kitchen, but she doesn’t say another word. Daryl starts skinning his squirrel in the sink while Beth gets Maggie a glass of water. The two sisters sit at the little breakfast table in the kitchen and make awkward small talk.

“Can you do that somewhere else,” Maggie snaps, after a few quiet minutes, her face going pale.

Daryl looks up and sees the reaction on the brunette’s face. He knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t help but push her.

“Do what,” he asks, as he gives a vicious yank to the fur of squirrel, pulling the rest of the skin off in one piece, which makes a satisfactory noise that has Maggie turning green.

Suddenly, the older Greene is up out of her seat and pushing Daryl out of the way as she pukes in the sink.

“What the hell,” he mutters, “thought you grew up on a farm, girl, geez!”

“Are you okay,” Beth questions, coming over.

Maggie rinses her mouth out with from water from the sink and then stands up, looking fiercely at him.

“I am fucking pregnant you asshole,” Maggie hollers in his face, “so take your stupid, bloody pet outside! The smell is driving me insane!”

There is a pause as what the older Greene just said sinks in.

“You are what,” gasps Beth, her big eyes widening even further and just like that Daryl knows it is his time to disappear and makes a quick escape through the front door.

The hunter finishes skinning the squirrel long before the girls finish talking. He sits out on the stairs of the porch, unwilling to risk walking in on whatever conversation is going on inside. Finally, as evening sets in, the screen door opens and Beth and Maggie walk out.

“Wait, hold on,” Beth tells her sister, “I have to get some of Julie’s old baby clothes for you.”

“I’m not like I’m giving birth tomorrow,” Maggie replies, “you don’t have to feel rushed.”

“I know,” chirps the blonde, “but I’m just so excited for you and need to do something, hold on and I will get the box.”

That leaves Maggie and Daryl on the porch together.

“So, what exactly are you doing here,” Maggie asks after a few seconds of silence, her eyes narrowing down at him.

“Could ask you what you haven’t been doing here,” he grunts back.

Something in Maggie’s face cracks a little, before she recovers.

“It ain’t easy on her being out here by herself,” Daryl continues, “being a single mother, working, keeping up with the place. It’s too much shit fer anyone to deal with on their own.”

“I know,” Maggie replies honestly, instead of making some smart ass remark, which surprises him, “but sometimes,…..it just hurts too much to come out here. I can’t do it very often. It reminds me of everything that our family lost.”

“Still got a hell of a lot more than some people have ever had,” is all he says, which leaves Maggie staring at him, in almost a thoughtful way for once, “if you don’t start coming around again, gonna lose that too.

“Hear from Beth that you have been helping out a lot around here,” the brunette comments, “doing chores and picking up Julie.”

He shrugs and looks down at his feet.

Right then, just as it is getting uncomfortable, Beth comes out, balancing a huge cardboard box with ‘baby clothes’ written in sharpie.

“Whoa Bethy,” Maggie exclaims, “how did you even get that down here.”

When the brunette goes to take the box, Beth steps away.

“No heavy lifting for you,” Beth reprimands, “I can handle it.”

“Like hell ya can,” he grunts, rolling his eyes and standing up, “that box is as big as you are. How many clothes does a baby need?”

Taking the box from Beth, Daryl follows the sisters out to Maggie’s van, where he puts the clothes in the back.

“So it is Julie’s birthday next weekend,” the blonde mentions as Maggie shuts the back of the van, “I know you just made the drive out here, but she would really appreciate having her aunt and uncle at her party.”

Maggie hesitates and her eyes dart to Daryl, as if remembering their conversation minutes ago.

“I will talk to Glenn,” she offers, which isn’t a straight out no.

“Thanks Mags,” Beth grins as she hugs her sister, “it was so good to see you again.”

“It was good to see you too Bethy,” Maggie replies, before they break apart.

The brunette gives Daryl a curt nod before climbing in her van. It is by far the most courteous goodbye she has ever given him. Daryl and Beth stand side by side as the black vehicle disappears down the dirt road.

“So, about doing it right…,” Beth suggests, glancing over at him with a flush in her cheeks once they are alone again.

“Girl,” he breathes, but a small smile tugs at his lips and gives him away, “gonna be the death of me.”

**The next morning**

Daryl wakes up with his head buried in Beth’s hair. His arm is over her chest and he can feel the soothing rise and fall as she breathes. Sunlight is beginning to stream through the windows, coating the room in a warm glow. He has never felt so damn comfortable and content and surely this is a dream or some sort of cosmic joke because Dixons don’t wake up in a large house next to a pretty, young, sweet woman, whom they made cry out their name in pleasure last night. Just the memory gets some blood flowing south. The way Beth had gasped when he went down on her, the surprise on her face, which had quickly changed to desire. He hadn’t the slightest idea what he was doing, but she had seemed to like it and that was all that had mattered.

Daryl raises his hand and pushes a blonde strand out of Beth’s face. His hand looks so big and tough and dark next to her delicate, pale features and he wonders what in the world made her want to be touched by him, why she wanted him. As if sensing his thoughts, the blonde’s lashes blink open and two big blue eyes are now staring at him. A big smile slowly spread on Beth’s face and it makes his heart stop to know it is for him.

“Good morning,” she whispers.

“Mornin,” he grunts, his voice rough and gravelly from sleep.

“Patricia should be bringing Julie soon,” Beth comments.

“Should prolly get ready then,” he replies.

“Yeah…,” Beth sighs, as if she wishes she could just stay in bed with him all day.

Then, she leans in and presses her lips to his, which still sends a spike of adrenaline through him, waking him all the way up. The fact that he is allowed to touch her, that she wants him to touch him, that she wants him to do so much more than just touch her, it almost doesn’t compute in his mind and the archer doesn’t know if he will ever understand it.

When Beth breaks away and sits up, she slides out from under the covers, revealing her naked body. Daryl quickly glances away, before remembering that he is allowed to look. He can’t do much more than shoot small peeks from under his long hair but what he does see just confirms what he already knew, Beth Greene is beautiful and perfect.

“Gonna get dressed,” Beth asks, as she pulls a shirt on over her head, “or are you just gonna lay in bed all day?”

“Kinda like the second option,” he grumbles, but he slides off the bed and pulls on his jeans.

“How old is she gonna be,” Daryl asks, luckily Beth is used to his rapid change of subjects.

“Five,” the blonde answers with a small smile, “she is growing up so quickly. I want to have a birthday party for her with a few of her classmates and hopefully Maggie and Glenn can come. It won’t be anything too big, but Julie is excited for it. Going to cook some hotdogs and burgers and have a cake and cupcakes. A few streamers and balloons.”

Daryl can’t help the smile that tugs at his lips as Beth gets carried away, talking about all the little details she wants to add to make Julie’s birthday party special. That is what has always amazed him about Beth, how much she cares for others, how making others happy makes her happy.

“Maybe…you could grill the burgers,” Beth suggests hesitantly, glancing over at him quickly before looking away, “I can do it but I will have a lot of other things to be doing and kids to watch and I know Julie would like you to be there, even though I know a kid’s birthday party probably isn’t your kind of…”

“I’ll do it,” he cuts her off before the blonde can get too worked up and flustered.

“For Julie,” he adds, which earns him a big smile.

“You are a good man Daryl Dixon,” Beth gushes, coming over and planting a kiss on his cheek, “we are both so lucky to have you.”

“Ain’t nothing,” he mumbles, looking down and letting his hair hide him.

Despite how intimate Beth and he had been, compliments still makes him uncomfortable, like he doesn’t deserve it.

“It’s everything,” Beth disagrees, cupping his cheek and looking into his eyes for a second, before dropping her hand and heading out the door, “but I can keep reminding you of that.”

He sits still for a minute until a doorbell pulls him out of his frozen state. Quickly pulling his shirt on and running a hand through his hair, he makes sure he has everything before he leaves Beth’s room, not wanting to get caught by Patricia or Julie. He didn’t even know what was going on, hadn’t since the moment Beth kissed him, he doesn’t even begin to know how to explain it if someone were to ask. He walks downstairs and finds Julie hugging Beth’s legs and Patricia standing nearby.

“Daryl,” squeals Julie, letting go of her mom and running to him, wrapping her little arms around his own legs and smiling up at him.

“Welcome back short stuff,” he replies as he pats her brown curls.

“I saw a lion and a bear and hyena,” Julie tells him excitedly, jumping up and down, “what is your favorite animal at the zoo.”

“Never been to the zoo,” he admits.

“Then we should go together next time,” the little girl announces, not at all put off by his lack of experience in normal life.

He just nods his head and the child runs off to her room while Patricia and Beth talk. Daryl stands with his hands in his pockets, he doesn’t say anything, but gives Beth’s aunt a nod when she leaves. It is weird how normal this feels, not just to him, but to everyone else. No one is glaring at him or acting like he doesn’t belong in this big farmhouse with these two amazing girls. He knows that other people in town wouldn’t see it the same way, but sometimes he can forget that, living out here it is like they are in their own little bubble. At least, until Julie’s party anyway. Daryl grimaces at the idea of lots of strangers being at the house.

“So how many people are coming to Julie’s birthday,” he asks Beth as they watch Patricia drive off.

“Six kids and their parents,” Beth replies, “Patricia and Otis, Maggie and Glenn, and a few others.”

“I thought this wasn’t anything big,” Daryl mumbles, already feeling nervous.

“It isn’t,” Beth insists, before elbowing him in the ribs, “you just don’t like people.”

“I like you and Julie plenty,” the hunter disagrees, “Patricia and Otis are also alright.”

“I promise you,” Beth tells him, taking his hand, “none of these people bite and if they do I will protect you.”

He snorts and rolls his eyes right as Julie runs back into the room with a stuffed penguin to show them.

“Julie,” Beth tells her, “Daryl is going to help cook for your birthday party, so what do you tell him?”

“Thank you,” the little girl beams, giving him a toothy smile.

Right then and there he knows even if every single person at the party hated him, he would still go, just for his girls. That thought stops him short. He had called Julie and Beth ‘his girls’, sure it was just in his head, but he couldn’t think like that. Julie wasn’t his and Beth would probably come to her senses at some point and find some better, more respectable man to date, even though the mere thought of Beth with someone else made his chest ache. He really had to get himself together.

**One week later**

Daryl stood nervously off to the side of the party, grilling while kids ran around screaming and playing. He had been staring down at the patties, ignoring the glances he was getting from other parents. Suddenly, a brown-haired man sauntered over and chuckled, not noticing how on edge he was, or not really caring.

“I can’t tell you how many times I have gotten talked into grilling duty for my kid’s birthdays,” he chuckles, giving Daryl a smile, which is unexpected.

He isn’t Julie’s dad and he has never done this before and he isn’t good at talking to strangers, so all he does is grunt and nod a bit, but the man doesn’t seem put off.

“I’m Rick by the way,” the man introduces himself, holding out his hand, “Rick Grimes.”

He squints at the hand, wondering if this man is being serious.

“Daryl,” he says after a pause, finally shaking the man’s hand.

“Good to meet you Daryl,” Rick returns, not seeming at all put off by his name, the man must be new to town.

“Rick, it is so good to see you,” exclaims Beth, appearing at Daryl’s side and beaming.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world Beth,” the man grins, “after everything you have done for my family, well you pretty much are family at this point.”

Beth notices Daryl’s raised eyebrow and explains.

“After my mom died, I couldn’t even begin to think about going to college, so I stayed here for a couple years after I graduated and helped babysit Rick’s son, Carl, and his daughter, Judith,” the blonde tells him.

“No,” disagrees Rick, “you did so much more than just babysitting. My family had just moved here when I accepted the job as sheriff and we didn’t know anyone when Lori became bedridden with our second child. If it wasn’t for Beth cleaning and helping with Carl and checking up on my wife and taking care of Judith once she was born, I don’t know how we would have made it through everything. She has been like a mother to both of my kids since Lori passed away.”

None of this surprises Daryl much, sounded just like what Beth would do, but what he was stuck on was something else entirely. This man is the town’s sheriff, Dixons and law enforcement had never gotten along. It was only a matter of time before Rick heard about his family and his past. Just because there hadn’t been any Dixons in town when Rick moved here, didn’t mean the whole town didn’t still gossip about them.

“Sorry ta hear that,” is all Daryl can get out, he knows it doesn’t mean much, didn’t mean much to him when people told him that after he lost his maw.

“It wasn’t easy,” Rick agrees, “but we also gained some new family in Beth and any friend of Beth’s is a friend of mine.”

At this point the blonde excuses herself and goes off to paint one of the kid’s faces, leaving Daryl with Rick.

“Wouldn’t say that so quickly,” Daryl comments, figuring it is best to rip it off fast like a band-aid, “I’m a Dixon, law enforcement has never been friends with any Dixon.”

“I’ve heard,” the sheriff answers, surprising Daryl, who jerks his head back up.

“Then what the hell are ya doing talking to me,” he asks.

“What you want me to do,” Rick asks with a grin, staring him straight in the eyes, “arrest you for cooking burgers? Throw you in jail for helping Beth throw Julie a birthday party?”

That leaves Daryl speechless.

“I’ve heard plenty,” Rick continues in a more serious tone, “but I like to make decisions about people myself. So far you haven’t given me any reason not to trust you and my gut tells me you aren’t a bad guy. As a cop, I learned to trust my gut. Are you saying it is wrong?”

“Naw,” the hunter finally mumbles out, looking down at the cooked burgers and flipping them onto a tray.

“Kids, food is ready,” Beth calls after Daryl sets the patties on the food table, before withdrawing to the porch.

He watches as the children load up their plate. Rick’s two kids are both there, the older one Carl is the oldest kid present, but Judith is closer to Julie’s age. Rick is currently talking to a black woman with dreads who is helping her son open a soda. There is also an older woman, Carol, with her daughter Sophia.

“So, you are Daryl,” asks a male voice as an Asian man drops into the chair next to him.

The hunter glances over at the man, who wears a nervous grin on his face.

“I’m Glenn, Maggie’s husband,” the guy introduces.

“Well, sucks to be you,” he huffs.

“I can see why the two of you don’t get along,” the Asian smirks, “both of you are just alike.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean,” Daryl snaps, glaring at the man, who doesn’t seem deterred.

“Both of you speak your mind and don’t really pull your punches, can be a bit too intense,” Glenn points out.

“Ain’t nothing like her,” he growls.

“Keep telling yourself that,” the Korean smirks, patting him on the shoulder, before going to join the group to sing happy birthday to Julie.

Daryl watches Julie blow out the candles on the cake Beth had made and he feels content. This isn’t nearly as bad as he thought it would be, in fact it is kind of nice. As if his thoughts jinx him, a red car comes down the driveway. There is only one person Daryl knows with a red car. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who guessed Maggie, y'all were right!


	14. I Love My Name 'Cause You Say It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Took me a little longer to get this chapter out because I have been really busy, but this is one of my favorites!

It was obvious that Beth hadn’t invited Jimmy to Julie’s birthday party by the awkward way she greeted him, but it was technically his daughter’s birthday so it wasn’t like she was going to refuse to let him join. When Beth called Julie over to show her that Jimmy showed up, the little girl just said a fast hello before running back to her friends.

“See you are still here,” Beth’s ex-boyfriend comments as he walks past the front porch.

“See you finally picked your ass up off the grocery store parking lot,” Daryl comments back, causing the younger man to freeze before continuing on.

The hunter watches Jimmy like a hawk for the rest of the party, almost hoping the younger man will give him a reason to punch him. Unfortunately, Julie’s biological dad is on his best behavior, chatting with a couple of the parents Daryl hasn’t met yet.

“If I decide to jump him when he leaves and throw his body out in the woods, you wanna help,” asks a female voice and Daryl looks up to find Maggie glaring at Jimmy just like he is. 

He raises an eyebrow but she just hands him a beer before sitting down beside him. Daryl takes the drink and pops the can open, taking a long guzzle of the cool liquid.

“I ain’t no expert on being pregnant,” the hunter says after a few minutes, “but pretty sure ya ain’t supposed to be fighting people or dragging their bodies anywhere.”

“That is what you are for,” Maggie says, as if it is obvious.

“What,” he huffs, “ya gonna off me too once I drag his body out into the woods, two birds with one stone.”

“Nah,” Maggie disagrees, taking a sip of beer herself, “I’ve decided you might be alright.”

“Took ya long enough,” the archer snorts.

“Well, anyone that punches Jimmy is good in my books,” the older Greene quips, looking him in the eye with a newfound respect.

“Beth tell ya about that,” he grunts.

“No, just heard around town that somebody had taken out Jimmy and his idiot buddies,” Maggie replies, “figured it was you.”

Daryl shrugs.

“You seem to make Beth really happy, Julie too,” Maggie points out, looking out at the party, “don’t know why I didn’t see it before.”

“It’s the other way around,” Daryl admits, looking down at the beer in his hand, “don’t even know what she sees in me.”

“Don’t know what Glenn saw in me either,” the brunette confides, “I slept with him, it was just supposed to be a one night stand. Afterwards, he didn’t leave me alone. He was still there when I woke up in the morning, wanted to make me breakfast, started showing up at my work and asking me on dates, following me around with puppy dog eyes. I treated him horribly, trying to scare him off, but obviously it didn’t work, because here we are. When Glenn asked daddy if he could marry me, he told him that there isn’t a man in the world that is good enough for his little girl, until one is. I think you are good enough for Beth, I think daddy would have thought that too.”

Daryl doesn’t know what to say to this, acceptance by Maggie was the last thing he had been expecting to happen today. However, her words really mean something because she had been one of his worst opponents, only seeing the worst in him since the beginning. So, if Maggie thought he was good enough for Beth, well that meant something.

“Mags, come get cake,” calls Glenn.

The oldest Greene stands up and leaves Daryl to his thoughts. After their conversation, he can’t help but wonder what it would be like to actually be a permanent part of Beth’s life, to never have to leave. He could be here a year from now for Julie’s sixth birthday, watch her grow up, be there for Beth whenever she needed help. They could really both be his girls. Only once he thought about it did he realize how bad he wanted it to be reality, something until this moment he wouldn’t have thought possible.

The hunter’s eyes land on Beth as she holds the camera and tells Julie to say cheese right before snapping a picture of her daughter, surrounded by family and friends. Everything around them is so bright and cheerful and even though he is on the edge of things, he is a part of this moment. Slowly, the numbers dwindle, until only Maggie, Glenn, and Jimmy are left.

“Here, I got you something extra special for your birthday,” Jimmy says, offering Julie a bright yellow box with a pink bow.

“Thank you,” Julie says politely, taking the box from him.

“Go ahead and open it,” the girl’s biological dad encourages.

The child pulls the bow off and tears the paper, revealing a box. Lifting the lid, the little girl pulls out a paper.

“What is it,” she asks.

“It is the paperwork to get your name changed,” Jimmy smiles, “so you can have the same last name as your daddy. How about that?”

Julie frowns a bit and looks over at her mom.

“Jimmy,” Beth says with a harsh glare, “we had already discussed this, she is keeping the name Greene. We aren’t married.”

Daryl sees Maggie stand up, but Glenn puts a hand on his wife’s shoulder to stop her from getting involved.

“But she is my daughter,” disagrees Jimmy, “so she should have her father’s last name.”

Daryl throws away his beer and makes his way over to stand behind Julie.

“How about letting her decide,” Daryl challenges, before glancing over at Beth to make sure he hasn’t overstepped his boundaries, but she just gives him a nod.

“That is right,” Beth agrees, crouching down in front of her daughter, “you are old enough to decide what you want.”

“If I’m not a Greene anymore, am I still your daughter,” Julie asks, confused and worried.

“You are always going to be my daughter,” Beth confirms, patting her daughter’s head, “nothing will ever change that. You know how your auntie Maggie changed her last name when she married Glenn, she is still my sister. Changing your name only adds family, it doesn’t take any family away.”

“When you take someone else’s name,” Beth continues to explain, “it means you want to be part of their family and their life, it is someone you look up to and care about.”

“So,” Julie seemed to want clarification, “I can change my name and that makes me family to them?”

“Yes,” encourages Jimmy.

“I want to change my name,” announces Julie, causing Daryl’s heart to drop.

He hadn’t been expecting that, neither had Beth or Maggie apparently, because both women look surprised. Daryl feels so stupid for think of Julie as one of ‘his girls’ earlier. He had been an idiot, the girl had a father, no reason she would need a redneck like him around.

“I want to be a Dixon,” Julie exclaims, glancing over at Daryl with big blue eyes.

For a second he is sure he heard her wrong, but then Jimmy storms off, throwing the paper on the ground and Maggie is snickering in the background at the man’s retreat.

“Can I,” asks Julie, tugging on his hand.

“Ain’t nobody ever wanted to before,” is all he can say in absolute shock.

Since he was a kid, being a Dixon had always been a bad thing, his last name marked him as no-good, worthless criminal. It is what made people walk on the other side of the street from him, it made kids at school bully him, and it was one of the things he hated most about himself. However, little Julie is here, asking in her innocent voice, begging with her big blue eyes to be one.

“Don’t gotta change your name,” he finally gets out, wanting to protect her, “can be family anyway.”

“Can mommy be a Dixon too,” continues Julie, causing Daryl to blush deeply and he can’t help but glance over at Beth to find she is flushed as well.

“Now Julie, you can’t just ask someone that,” stammers Beth, her eyes darting over at Daryl and her red face only darkening.

“But I thought you liked each other,” questions Julie, “I saw y’all kissing yesterday, isn’t that what a mommy and daddy do?”

“This sounds like a personal conversation,” Maggie interrupts, but she looks anything but bashful, “so we are going to go. Thanks for inviting us, Happy Birthday Julie.”

Having said this, Maggie grabs Glenn’s hand and all but drags her husband to the car as he continues to sneak glances back. Once they are gone, the tension only increases.

“You have to be asked to be a part of someone’s family,” Beth tries to explain, “you can’t ask yourself. It is kind of like when you feed Nelly, you have to wait for her to come to you, you can’t go to her or she gets spooked.”

“Oh,” Julie’s eyes light up with recognition, she runs back to Daryl and wraps her arms around him, “I didn’t mean to spook you Daryl, I’m sorry.”

He only manages to get out a grunt and a nod, feeling like his throat is about to close up and his is going to die of suffocation right there.

“I am going to wait from now on for you to ask us to be Dixons and when you do I’m gonna say yes,” Julie says with a grin, letting go of him and running into the house to play with her new toys.

“Sorry about that,” Beth apologizes, one hand over her face.

Daryl gives a terse nod and they start cleaning up from the party, throwing plates away and taking down streamers and balloons.

“I can talk to her,” the mother offers, as they are finishing up, “so she won’t bring it up again, if it bothers you.”

“Nah,” he disagrees, focusing adamantly on the streamers he is untying and very much not looking at Beth’s face, “I don’t mind, was just shocked, no one has ever wanted to be a Dixon, like it is a good thing or something. Kids just don’t know what they are talking about sometimes.”

“I think I know exactly what Julie is talking about,” Beth disagrees, “I know your family is seen a certain way around town, but you are the only Dixon left and never once have I seen you get drunk or abusive or start a fight just for the fun of it. So, you can change what it means to be a Dixon. Now being a Dixon is whatever you decide to make it mean. From what I have seen, being a Dixon means standing up for a little blonde girl who is surrounded by bullies. Being a Dixon means taking a little girl to a father-daughter dance when she doesn’t have a dad to take her. It means going hunting in the forest and cooking burgers and talking to the sheriff and Maggie in a friendly way. It means waking up early and working hard until the day is done and then going and picking up a kid who isn’t even your daughter from school. I can see why she would want to be a Dixon, because you are a good person Daryl and anyone should be proud to have your last name.”

Having said this, Beth gives him a quick kiss on the cheek, her face flushed from her passionate speech. Then, she ties up the garbage bag and heads inside, leaving Daryl standing there frozen, his mind whirling at being told the exact opposite of everything he had ever known.

**Nine months later**

Daryl, Beth, and Julie are in Atlanta, visiting Maggie and Glenn and their new baby, Hershel. Maggie sits in a chair at the dining room table, cradling the chunky baby in her arms before handing the newborn over to her aunt Beth, who gladly takes the infant. Julie peers curiously, but hesitantly at the baby, the first one she has ever seen.

“He is so small,” Julie breathes, her eyes big.

“You want to tell your cousin hi,” asks Beth and Julie comes closer.

“Hi Hershel,” Julie says hesitantly.

“Ah,” the baby gets out around its pacifier, waving its arms around.

Glenn and Daryl stand on the outside, looking through the window and sipping beers. Daryl had decided that Glenn is okay in his books, the Asian guy is a bit goofy and easily teased, but he is a good man and seems to accept that Daryl isn’t the most talkative.

“How did you ask her,” Daryl manages to get out after they have been standing in silence for a good half hour.

“Ask her what,” Glenn questions, a smile on his face as he watches his family.

“How did you ask Maggie, ta ya know…..,” he trails off, unsure of how to ask without seeming obvious.

“Get married,” finishes Glenn, beaming at him, “are you gonna? Are you planning on asking Beth? Really? It is about time!”

“I didn’t say that,” he growls, immediately defensive, but his grumpy response doesn’t put Glenn off at all.

“Didn’t have to,” the Korean man grins, “it is written all over your face.”

“Like hell it is,” snaps Daryl, narrowing his eyes at Beth’s brother-in-law.

“I think you should talk to Maggie though,” Glenn continues.

“Why, so she can cut my balls off,” the older man asks suspiciously.

“No way,” snorts Glenn, “she was saying just the other day how Beth seems so much happier with you around. Hold on.”

Glenn sets down his can of beer and walks into the house, leaving Daryl feeling trapped. He had just been curious, maybe wanted some advice, the hunter didn’t mean for the whole family to get involved. He watches as Glenn enters the kitchen and whispers in Maggie’s ear before switching spots with her. The brunette doesn’t immediately come outside though, disappearing into the house before coming out the back door and making her way over to Daryl. He flinches slightly under the older Greene’s unwavering stare, but forces himself to remain in place.

“So, I hear you wanna ask Beth to marry you,” Maggie says bluntly, getting right to the point, crossing her arms over her chest.

God dammit, Glenn and his big mouth, Daryl never should have said anything. Next time he gets the Asian man alone, he is going to make him regret this! Before he can say anything, Maggie is speaking again.

“When Glenn asked daddy for my hand in marriage, he gave him a pocket watch from my grandfather,” Maggie explains, “so now I’m giving this to you, it belonged to our grandmother, whom Beth was very close to. I think it would mean a lot for her to get this.”

The brunette holds out her hand and Daryl cautiously steps closer and takes the object. Looking down at his calloused hand he finds a silver ring with intricate leaf patterns leading up to a small diamond. It is old, but looks exactly like what Beth would like.

“If Hershel were still here,” the brunette continues, “I think he would give you his blessing. He liked you long before I did. While he was still alive, he never had one bad word to say about you. All he really cared about was seeing us smile and I have never seen Beth smile as much as she does with you.”

Daryl stares straight into Maggie’s eyes, awestruck by what she is telling him. He can’t find the words to thank her or anything else at the moment, all he can do is nod, but the brunette seems to understand.

“Daryl, you ready to go,” comes Beth’s voice and the archer quickly pockets the ring before turning around to see Beth and Julie standing on the porch.

He mumbles out a reply, unable to string together a coherent sentence at the moment, but luckily that isn’t out of the normal for him. The blonde takes his struggle to be agreement and soon all of them are loaded up in the car.

“I hope Maggie wasn’t giving you any trouble,” Beth tells him once Julie has fallen asleep, glancing over with a concerned look on her face.

“Nah,” Daryl brushes off, not wanting to bring up what they had actually been talking about, “think she might be warming up to me.”

That is the understatement of the year.

“About time,” Beth grins, “don’t know why it took her so long, or anyone for that matter. I wish everyone would open their eyes and see you like I do.”

“Girl, you are crazy,” he chuckles, looking over at her.

“Crazy about you,” she shoots back, before reaching over and taking his right hand, leaving his left to steer.

“Thanks for driving us out here and spending the afternoon with Glenn and Maggie,” Beth muses, “I know it wasn’t probably your first choice of how to spend a Sunday, but it was really nice.”

“Didn’t mind,” he shrugs.

Once they get home, chores have to be done. After finishing, the sun is down and they all gather in the living room where they watch ‘Little House on the Prairie’, Julie’s favorite show that is on every Sunday night. The young girl lays on the rug on the floor while Beth and Daryl take the couch. The hunter honestly has no clue what is going on in the television show, because he spends his time staring at his girls. He never thought he would feel so comfortable here, like he belongs, one arm wrapped around Beth’s shoulders and Julie’s feet kicking his boots in excitement. In the middle of the show, when Julie is glued to the screen, Daryl leans over and plants a kiss on Beth. It isn’t too long or passionate, with Beth’s daughter in the room, but it still makes his chest go warm and his lips tingle. He loves breathing in her scent, tasting her on his tongue. At first moments like this had confused him, now he knows that it is the feeling of being perfectly happy and content, having everything and everyone he could ever need right by him.

The show ends and everyone makes their way upstairs, Beth tucks Julie in while Daryl leans by the door. Once the child is in bed, the two adults start making their way to Beth’s bedroom, but suddenly, the blonde grabs his hand and leads him down the stairs. He of course follows without hesitation. She takes him out onto the porch and they sit looking up at the stars, listening to the wheat blow in the field, which he had managed to plant and is awfully proud of. Daryl can feel the ring burning a hole in his pocket but he has never been good with words so he doesn’t know how to bring it up.

“I wish everything could stay like this forever,” Beth breathes, staring up at the night sky, the wind tossing tendrils of her golden hair around.

He looks over and she must read his expression because she continues.

“I wish Julie would never grow up and every night could be like this one,” she explains wistfully, “I wish I could see Maggie and Glenn every day and that our kids will become friends. I hope that maybe someday I can have a family like my parents had, a big loving family that gets together to share holidays and birthdays. There would be hard times, but in general we would be happy.”

“Got me sold,” he agrees, a slight grin on his lips.

“What do you want,” Beth asks suddenly, tearing her eyes away from the night sky and piercing him with a stare that has him wanting to kiss her and run away at the same time, “where do you picture yourself years from now?”

Suddenly, he just knows that this is the moment. He has spent his whole life doing his best to hold the people he cares most about at an arm’s length, to never show vulnerability, never talk about his feelings, but this is the moment to throw everything he has ever known out the window in the hope of his life being something better than it always was.

“Growing up,” he begins, his voice rough and his finger’s finding his lips for a second as he looks off in the distance before continuing, “I never wished for anything, never pictured anything beyond what I had at that exact moment, because I would only be disappointed.”

“Never thought I deserved anything better for myself,” he continues, looking down at his hands, which are now in his lap.

Suddenly, a pale, delicate hand is reaching over, taking one of his hands and wrapping it in hers.

“Daryl,” she says in her sweet voice, “you deserve to have anything you want, you are a good man.”

“Only want you,” he admits, before drawing the courage to look up at Beth’s shocked face, “don’t need a dream of my own, just want to be a part of yours.”

“Oh,” Beth breathes, her blue eyes going wide and her hand squeezing his.

“Maggie gave me this,” Daryl suddenly blurts out, fishing for the ring with his free hand and pulling it out, “she said it belonged to your grandmother and that your father would have wanted me to have it, to give to you. I know I ain’t got much, the only thing worth having in my life is you and Julie, but if ya want….I can be there, if ya want me to be a part of your dream.”

Water pools in the big blue eyes before him and before Daryl can become too self-conscious, the blonde jumps at him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face into his chest. She is laughing and crying at the same time and it causes Daryl’s mouth to turn upwards as he holds her close. Then, almost as quickly, Beth is pulling away and he wants to complain, but then she holds out her left hand, her cheeks red with excitement. Taking the delicate hand in his, Daryl carefully slides the ring on her finger and breathes a sigh of relief that it fits before glancing up through his long hair to find the most beautiful smile he has ever seen aimed right at him.

“I love you,” Beth breathes.

Before he can even think of how to respond, the screen door bangs open and Julie jumps out.

“Does this mean we get to be Dixons mama,” she squeals, running over to them.

“Sweetie, you are supposed to be in bed,” Beth reprimands, but there is no real bite to it.

“I know,” Julie agrees, jumping up and down, “but I could hear y’all since my window is open and came to look. So am I a Dixon now?”

“You really want to be a Dixon,” Daryl snorts out, trying not to laugh.

“Yes,” Julie exclaims.

“Then it looks like we are both going to be,” Beth tells her daughter, now their daughter.

Julie screams and jumps in the middle of them and just like that Daryl has a family.


	15. Your Love Makes Life Worth Living

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know this took a while to get out, but I wasn't happy with the final chapter and ended up rewriting it. So enjoy!

**2.5 years later**

Daryl watches lazily as Beth breathes in and out. He loves watching as the sun rays slowly move across the room until they hit her hair and light up her blonde strands to the point they look golden. He can still remember how beautiful his wife looked with flowers in her hair and a white sundress on, but right now she looks even better in his t-shirt with her hair strewn across the pillow, laying in their bed. The hunter can remember their wedding day like yesterday, the small outdoor ceremony with Julie as a flower girl. It hadn’t been anything big or showy but it had been nice and it had given him a family. It had surprised a lot of people in town, they were still a hot topic of gossip, but there had also been people who had stood up for them. The people he now considers his family as well. He notices the moment she wakes up, the way her breathing suddenly quickens and her eyelashes flutter open. Immediately, she looks for him, turning to see him better.

“Today is a big day,” she tells him, a smile on her face.

He nods, reaching up and pushing a lock of hair out of her face before running his fingers down her cheek.

“I love you Mr. Dixon,” she whispers, moving closer to him.

He huffs at that, but like always, her words warm him up and leave him tingling. He wraps his arm around her shoulder and pulls her in tighter, pressing his lips against her soft ones. No matter how many times he has done this, it never gets old, never takes his breath away any less. His wife gulps for air right as they hear feet running down the hallway before a little fist is pounding at their door.

“Looks like we have run out of time Mrs. Dixon,” he breathes into her ear, causing her to grin and giggle.

“Tonight then,” she promises and they both nod before the door bursts open and Julie runs inside.

“Are y’all up, it is time to get up and make breakfast,” the young girl begins going off, “I told Jake we would pick him up today and take him to school today and I don’t want to leave him waiting. He said he can come to the birthday party tonight.”

Jake Hipp is a boy in Julie’s grade that she had taken a shine to. His parents weren’t as bad as Daryl’s had been, but they were never around. Often, the boy was left on his own and expected to clean the house and make his own food and get himself to school. In some ways though, the pair reminded him of Beth and himself, all those years ago. Jake always seemed uncertain and cautious around others, everyday things amazed him, and all through it, Julie was there holding his hand and smiling and encouraging him. She had started inviting her friend over almost a year ago and now the kid was at the Dixon house more than he was at his own.

“We can go pick him up,” Daryl groaned as his sat up.

The parents dressed and Beth went to check on their son Hays, the birthday boy, while Daryl gathered his keys and boots. Patricia and Otis had been watching Hays while Beth and Daryl worked, but today the blonde had taken off, wanting to spend all day with her son on his birthday. After eating oatmeal, he and Julie load up, Dog jumps in the passenger seat, determined to ride along. Daryl had found the German Shephard puppy in the snow while he was out hunting almost two years ago. He had dragged the shivering ball of fur home to Beth and Julie’s delight. After Dog had gotten over his puppy habit of chewing up everything in sight, he had become a pretty good dog and Daryl’s almost constant companion.

“Spoiled mutt,” he grumbles as he pets the dog’s head.

Dog gives him a loopy grin and stares out the window as they start driving. Jake’s house is on the other side of town and the boy didn’t have a phone, so they couldn’t let him know they were coming, but sure enough, the kid is sitting outside on the curb when they pulled up. He had probably been sitting out there since he woke up. It pissed Daryl off to see the boy left alone, but he knew personally that it could be worse.

“Morning Mr. Dixon,” greets Jake, before he jumps in the backseat with Julie, “thanks for picking me up.”

“It’s nothing,” Daryl replies automatically.

He drives his truck back through town as the kids talk about school and books. Daryl finally pulls up to the school, grunting a goodbye as the two kids get out and walk off. He watches them, a smile twitching at his mouth. Even after all this time, he still feels good that he is able to do something for Julie and Jake that his own dad never did for him. One day he will do this for Hays too.

As he passes the one bar in town on the way back home, he sees red and blue lights. Sure enough it is Rick, arresting a drunk and disorderly Jimmy, who must have been on one of his drinking binges again. Daryl rolls his eyes and keeps driving, sure his best friend will tell him all about it this afternoon. Pulling up to the house, he gets out, Dog close on his heels.

“How about some hunting this morning,” he asks his animal shadow, who woofs in agreement.

The hunter goes into the house to collect his crossbow. Sure enough, Beth is inside singing and carrying Hays around the living room, near her piano. Daryl can’t help but pause and watch.

“My wish for you,” his wife sings wistfully, staring down at their son, “is that life, becomes all that you want it to. Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small, you never need to carry more than you can hold.”

As the blonde turns around, holding their boy in her arms, her eyes land on him and after a slight lift of her eyebrows in surprise, she smiles and continues.

“And while you are out there getting where you are getting to,” she continues, her eyes locked on Daryl’s, “I hope you know that somebody loves you, and want’s the same things too. Yeah, this is my wish.”

When the blonde finishes, he walks over to her, taking their son out of her arms and holding him in his own. The boy has his dark brown hair and dark blue eyes, but his mama’s smile.

“You being good for your mom,” Daryl asks, bouncing his child up and down, causing his son to giggle in delight.

“I’m gonna go hunting, you want anything,” Daryl asks, patting down his son’s hair before looking over at his wife.

“If you could get a couple of rabbits, that would be good for a pot pie, Julie loves those,” Beth suggests.

“Should be able to,” he answers, kissing his wife, he still can’t believe he has one, before heading out.

The forest envelopes him, makes him feel at home, but now it isn’t the only home he has. He isn’t out there to avoid people or his shitty father, he is outside because he enjoys it. Soon enough, he has bagged a couple of rabbits and attached them to rope on his belt. Daryl is right by the fenceline when he hears something from the neighbor’s side. He crouches down automatically, even though he can’t shoot a deer if it isn’t on this side of the fence. However, he snorts when he sees who it is. Standing up, two brown eyes turn to him and a smile appears on the woman’s face.

“What are you doing lurking around here Dixon,” teases Michonne, the game warden for the county.

One night at Rick’s house, they had both met. Neither Rick nor Beth knew how their partners would do, both of whom were intimidating and quiet. However, it turns out the pair bonded over their unusual weapons, Daryl’s crossbow and Michonne’s katanna. Since then, they poked fun at each other any time they saw each other, something few others would dare do.

“Slaughtering innocent animals,” he answers with a grin, holding up the rabbits, “gonna arrest me for it?”

“As tempting as that sounds, as long as you are on your own property, I think I’m gonna have to let you be a free man,” Michonne chuckles.

“What are you doing out here,” he asks.

“Got a call,” the samurai answers, “unlike you I actually work.”

“Yeah yeah,” he mutters, “looks like you are talking to me, not working.”

“Talking to you is work,” Michonne smirks, “you sure don’t make it easy.”

“Pfft,” he blows her comment off, “you and Rick going to be there tonight.”

“Of course,” she reassures, “wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

The two part and Daryl heads back to the house, walking the paths he has become so used to. When he arrives, Beth is pulling a cake out of the oven.

“Got those rabbits,” he offers, handing his kills over.

“Perfect,” Beth smiles, taking them from him.

Daryl goes to dip his finger in the icing but one stare from Beth has him retreating to the shower instead. Afterwards, he goes about working on mending the fence and fixing some farm equipment. Time flies by and soon he is ready to pick up Julie and Jake. As he drives out the gate, Maggie’s van passes him and he nods his head in greeting. The brunette smiles and waves at him. His daughter and her friend are ready when he pulls up, both bubbling over with excitement. They talk the whole way home. When he pulls up and parks in the drive, Hershel Jr and Glenn are outside on the porch. Julie and Jake run up into the house as Daryl lets Dog out. The canine runs over to Glenn and licks the man’s face before rolling on his back to let Hershel pet his stomach.

“How’s it going,” asks Daryl.

“It is scary in there,” Glenn warns him, “I wouldn’t go inside if you know what is good for you.”

That is probably true, he can picture both Beth and Maggie cooking up a storm inside and sorting out decorations. Julie and Jake come back out and Jake wants to see the horses so they all go, leaving the two women with the house to themselves. They visit not only the horses but the chickens and walk along the forest edge. When they return, the chaos really begins. Daryl and Glenn are roped into hanging up decorations in the backyard and moving picnic tables around. Soon, they have one long table made out of all the smaller tables pushed together. Glenn blows up balloons while Daryl hangs up a deer piñata.

Before long, people start showing up as Beth and Maggie bring food outside and set it on the table. First, Rick and Michonne arrive with Carl, Andre, Judith, and RJ. If that bunch of kids wasn’t parented by the sheriff and a game warden, then it would be a complete disaster, but Rick and Michonne run a tight ship and keep their children in line. Next comes Carol with her daughter Sophia. Carol had recently taken over the café in town and Daryl respects the woman for escaping her abusive husband and turning her life around. Carol’s recent boyfriend, Ryan Samuels, also joins, bringing his two daughters Mika and Lizzie. Enid’s, Carl’s crush and best friend, shows up last with her parents.

The kids run off to play in the clubhouse and on the swing set and tire swing Daryl had set up a few months ago. It is a beautiful fall day with a light crisp chill to the air and the trees are changing colors. The adults talk and sip beer while keeping an eye on the children. After letting the young ones get their energy out, they call them to the table for dinner, tucking into the feast laid out before them. Maggie and Beth had outdone themselves, cooking venison and mashed potatoes and green bean casserole. A couple of Daryl’s kills had been turned into rabbit pot pies and the veggies from the garden were baked and seasoned. Jake is tucking in just like Daryl used to do and Julie is giggling by his side.

“Can I help Hays blow out the candles,” Julie asks, as her little brother sits in his highchair looking at the cake with the single candle lit on it.

“That is what older siblings are for,” Daryl huffs, watching as everyone sings happy Birthday before Julie blows out the candle for her brother’s first birthday.

Daryl didn’t understand why a one-year old needed a birthday party, Hays is too young to understand what they are celebrating, but Beth had insisted and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Jake stares in amazement as Julie explains that you make a wish on your birthday after blowing out the candles. Beth cuts up the cake for everyone as Daryl unwraps a cupcake and hands it into the chubby hands of his son. Immediately, the boy has blue icing all over his face. The kid smiles just like his mama and Daryl would do anything to make sure he stays that way forever, full of happiness.

“Doe,” squeals Hays affectionately at the family pet, as he throws a part of his cupcake on the ground, where the German Shephard quickly cleans it up.

The kid still hadn’t quite gotten hang of the word dog yet and this was what he called their pet. Once all the kids have eaten cake and hit open the piñata, the adults let them run off their sugar high while they sit talking.

“Arrested Jimmy today,” Rick tells Daryl, with a slight grin on his face, “didn’t go to easy on him neither.”

“Hmph,” Daryl snorts as he takes a drink of his beer, “fucking idiot.”

“He accused me of throwing him in jail just because I’m friends with you,” the sheriff smirks, recalling the scene.

“Like I need you to throw him around for me,” Daryl huffs into his beer.

“Hey guys,” Glenn joins, popping open his own beer.

“So I was thinking,” Glenn tells Daryl, “this Thanksgiving, how about we celebrate at Maggie and I’s house. You and Beth and the kids, even Jake.”

“Don’t gotta convince me,” Daryl drawls, glancing over at his family, catching Beth’s gaze and causing them both to smile.

He could never have dreamed up this life in a hundred years, but Beth somehow had and she had made it a reality, one she shared with him. His wife brings their son over, handing him to his father so she can clean up the table.

“Hey little man,” Daryl says as he takes Hays into his arms and sets him on his leg.

The little boy quickly becomes the center of attention. Glenn makes funny faces at him, causing his son to laugh and giggle, music to Daryl ears. Even after being around Julie, Daryl had been worried when Beth had told him she was pregnant. Unlike Julie, this kid would have his own cursed Dixon blood running through their veins. What if something about the child being part of himself made them messed up somehow? The moment he held Hays in the hospital though, all of his worries had disappeared. The boy was perfect and he loved him and Julie, they were the world to him. It turns out he didn’t have to have a good childhood growing up to be a good father, he already knew what not to do so doing the opposite hadn’t been hard.

If Merle could see him right now, Daryl is sure his brother would hoot and howl with laughter, say a few snarky comments. However, despite the crude treatment, mostly because he didn’t know any better, Merle would have been happy for him. He would have liked Hays and Julie, Beth too. One night while sitting outside, Beth had gone on about how she hoped her daddy and mama could see them from up above. Daryl had snorted and said he sure as hell hoped Merle wasn’t looking down on him because that would be some creepy stalker shit. When he was being serious though, he hoped somehow Merle could see this, because like Daryl, he would know how much it meant for the name Dixon not to be a curse but just a name, one that was said with pride by his family.

Slowly, the guests trickle away and Daryl takes Hays to his room while Beth puts Julie to sleep. He is the first in the bedroom but soon Beth crawls in next to him. He wraps his arm around his wife, pulling her close and breathing in her scent.

“I love you Daryl Dixon,” the blonde says and he knows she is smiling without even seeing her face.

“I love ya too Beth Dixon,” he answers, kissing her lips, remembering the first time he ever met her, when she gave him a reason to keep living, “always have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading and your wonderful comments! If you enjoyed, please check out my other works. I am already working on a new story that is based in the apocalyptic world in which Rick's group never goes to the Greene farm, instead, Beth gets separated from her family and ends up being saved by a certain crossbow wielding redneck, who takes her back to his group and becomes her unwilling mentor in how to survive. Let me know if you would be interested. I'm not going to post any of it though until I have the whole story roughly written out. But maybe I can get a couple one-shots posted in the meanwhile.


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